Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Side Effects of Caffeine

The funniest things are never caught on film. Madelene and I went shopping the other day and we got new stuff for our guest bathroom. We had purchased a new toilet seat with a cover and a little woven basket to hold things like nail files, cotton balls and whatever. We have an old bathroom so we needed to spruce it up to make it look more inviting. As Madelene was leaving for work this morning, she grabbed what looked like one of those children’s floaty devices for swimming pools. Having forgotten our toilet seat extravaganza, I asked, “What is that?” She turned around and just gave me a blank stare, hoping it would sink in momentarily. Then it did and we both started laughing so hard, that we could barely get her out the door. With the toilet seat inside a bag flung over her right shoulder, me still in my pajamas and my coffee on the ledge where I had placed it to let her out the door, we both tripped because of the weather sealant under our door. It buckled up, leaving both Madelene and myself on the floor still in hysterics.   Somehow, my cup of coffee made its way out too. Picture it: a toilet seat hanging out from a bag and brown watery stuff all over the outside floor.

“Pick it up! Pick it up!” I cried out in laughter, referring to the used toilet seat that was sitting besides her, now sticking halfway out of the bag.

My neighbors downstairs and across from me must have thought we were smoking something funny. It was just caffeine. My coffee lovers out there who want to know which bean did this: Italian Roast Extra Bold Starbucks. This stuff always kicks it up a notch or two. We’re hyper from the first sip into the wee hours of the midmorning. We could not stop laughing, even when I mopped up and came back inside, I went over to the window and still drew this funny moment out.

“Mad! What’s that in the bag?” I screamed out the window so the entire neighborhood could peek out as she was headed for the dumpster to rid of it once and for all.

Aside from this comical morning, we thought it was going to be below zero today. Apparently the weather people have their heads up their asses because it’s 22 degrees out. It can only go up from there. I know weather can’t be accurately predicted, but at least give us a ballpark range. I know it’s not a heat wave, but for the love of God---to scare us with below zero temps and have me promise everyone to film the whole ordeal with people bundled up to their foreheads in goose downs and skiwear, it’s just wrong.

And now, I am going to refill my cup of coffee and try to start my day in a lesser slapstick sort of way. Wish me luck!

Stay warm folks!

13 comments:

Jess said...

Awww! I love it! Put a smile on my face too!

Grant said...

Toilet covers? Woven baskets? You are so gay.

Oh, right.

~Deb said...

Thanks, Jess!

Grant: Yes, I am a "happy" basket case.

Mars said...

never know when you might need a toilet seat......

david mcmahon said...

G'day from Australia,

That's the origin of the expression ``Take a seat''!

Gets my vote, for sure .....

Trashman said...

That's just wrong. I pused the "listen now" button. I though I would get to hear that oh so sexy voice, but no I get some robot reading to me. Shame on you.

~Deb said...

Mars: Amen! I should have kept it just in case of an emergency camping trip.

David: Welcome! :) The way it looked on the floor with coffee spilled all over the place---you'd rather run instead...believe me! Thanks for visiting!

Trashman: HAHAHAHA!!! My pod casting has a very deep and monotone voice. It's not doing it fer' ya?

Fu Manchu Dad said...

Deb!
I've been loving the Vlogs, keep doing them. So your mom is in upstate NY? Freaking beautiful there. Even though I hate snow, I would so love to see that place in Summer. As for the caffeine giggles, I'm totally with you on that. While I'm a coffee vet, my wife is really not much of a Java person. Get a few in her and she gets totally silly! It's cheaper than booze, as I'm sure you've realized. BTW, a study was released today showing that people who drink more than 7 cups a day, are 3 times more likely to have hallucinations than those non-coffee types. LSD for lightweights? Works for me. Off to brew my cup for the drive home.

Take Care,
FMD

~Deb said...

Hey Fu!

Thanks for the encouragement! :) The videos are fun to do, especially when everyone in my world cooperates with me and says, "FINE! JUST TAKE THE DAMN VIDEO OF ME!" But sometimes I don't have volunteers so I put my own mug on there. :|

Coffee. MMM. It's my new addiction. I had no idea it could have the same effects that cough medicine does when taken in large doses.

Not that I'm fishing for cough medicine...eh-hem.
That would be ONE desperate alcoholic of me, huh?

the walking man said...

Now what are you two going to do when in the middle of these frigid cold nights, you hear a SNAP!! coming from your washroom and upon inspection you find that your new toilet seat has contracted from the cold and broken?

You're going to wish that you had never thrown your old spare away is what your going to do.

And fishing for the cough medicine isn't always the act of a desperate alcoholic, most times it's the act of an underage teenager.

Did I read somewhere that excess coffee is hallucinogenic? Now I know why my life seems so bizarre.

the walking man said...

-10...minus ten...5 little stripes on the old thermometer BELOW the zero...uhhhhh it's cold...really cold...so cold a bird tried to land on the driveway to pick at the bread crumbs I left out and as soon as it hit the ground it shattered...it's so dang cold that Alanis Morrisette has both hands in her pocket underneath 4 shirts, two coats, three pairs of gloves and a pair of electric socks...on her hands.

It's cold

~Deb said...

Well if the toilet seat snaps from the coldness, then I better call the electric company! But just in case, thank God we have another bathroom in the master bedroom!

Yeah today it is bitterly cold out there! Bundle up!

DaBich said...

Oh Lord, brown stuff and a used toilet seat! I never know what I'm going to find here. lol

22 degrees??!?? How did you get so lucky??? We had -2 here this morning!!!!!!! And it's still only 8 now. BrRrrr!