Sunday, February 10, 2008

Can Our Deceased Loved Ones Visit Our Dreams?

Leesa’s done it. She took the “crud” out of my system. The “crud” being referred to as writer’s block or just 'I don’t wanna write' type of phase where all I post are someone else’s words or just plop a video onto a post. Voila – a post! So now I am going to ride the coattails of my friend Leesa, who is an amazing writer, thinker, soul-searching, thought provoking and beautiful person. (Can I get any more adjectives in there?) Okay, she’s sexy too!

On her post entitled, “’Til Death Do Us Part (Maybe)”, she explained her thoughts regarding her deceased grandmother visiting her dreams. She tossed around the idea that maybe it was her neurotransmitters in her brain that conflicted with the actual – wait – “possible” notion that it could very well be her grandma’s spirit coming for a visit. Toggling the theory of science vs. religion and spiritual encounters, Leesa triggered some memories I’ve had of my grandmother “visiting” me in my dreams right before her death. I told my mom that I was going to Brooklyn to see grandma before she died. I had it all planned out for the following Saturday. My mom warned me not to go, because she thought I would get disturbed over the sight of how my grandmother looked like now, as opposed to when I remembered her before having the stroke and literally becoming a vegetable in bed for months. The beautiful, robust redhead was now down to bones and white hair. Was I prepared to see her like that?

I didn’t care. I still planned on visiting grandma. I wanted to say my last goodbyes. It was important to me. A few nights before, I went to sleep and dreamt that my grandmother was talking to me, telling me not to go, because she didn’t want me to see her like that. Mind you, during this dream she was still alive, yet not conscious. My hard-hardheadedness told her no and that I was still planning on seeing her. Two days later, my mother came into my bedroom and told me grandma had passed away. Her “hard-hardheadedness” beat my own stubborn ways. We were very much a like in many areas. In fact, at her funeral, I found out that her birthday was the same as mine – February 4th. She always celebrated it on February 5th. No one ever explained why she said her birthday was on the 5th instead of the 4th. (If any family member is reading this, please explain to me…) Was it because she wanted me to have “my day”, or was it because she just messed up? I always said to her, “Grandma, I wish our birthdays were the same!” On the day of her funeral, they made her up to be what I remembered her to be: the beautiful robust redhead…the woman she wanted me to see.

I can’t say for sure if it was actually my grandmother visiting me in my dreams, however, it’s a comforting thought and belief that makes me believe that grandma was protecting me from a traumatic encounter.

Thanks, Grandma! And thanks Leesa for making me 'think' again!
So what do you think? Do you feel that it is in fact, the neurotransmitters in our brain that make us conjure up these dreams of our deceased loved ones? Or do you think it's really true that they are trying to communicate with us through our dreams?


Matt-Man said...

My mom and dad "speak" to me all of the time.

Maybe it's because deep down we know what advice they would give or what they would say upon issues confronting us.

I just choose to believe however, that they do speak to me from beyond, and are, in some fashion, still with me. Cheers Deb!!

Grax said...

I feel that dreams are a funny thing.

Whilst I do not deny that the brain does fire off neurotransmitting thingamibobs and compiling all the information that the brain receives, I like to think that the human body is very capable of doing extraordinary things, including receiving messages from beyond the grave.

On the other hand it could be the fact that you're thinking about your Grandma so much that it simply carries on into your dream state, with all the funkiness that can happen in dreams.

On the imaginary third hand it could be your body or mind trying to tell you something and is using your Grandma as a symbol for portraying that message.

I've had lots of dreams in my life. I'd like to think that some of them are something a bit more than random data filing in my brain.

~Deb said...

What do you think about humankind only using 10% of their brain? What goes on in the 90% - or is it just empty space? There must be a reservation for that extra space!

Margie said...

Hello Deb
Great post...thank you!

A few weeks ago, I was driving past the house of a dear friend that died less than 2 years ago.
I missed her so much, and just could not hold back the tears.
I cried all the way home!

About a week later, I had a dream in which I was crying (but, do not know what I was crying about)
Then, someome was wiping my tears away.
It was my friend, Mary.
I could see her smiling at me, but she did not say anything.
I woke up feeling so very comforted.

I do believe our loved ones speak to us in our dreams.

Oh, belatedb-day greetings.
Hope you had a wonderful day!

P.S Loved the little poem you left me cute!!!

Comrade Kevin said...

Sometimes I hear the voice of my Grandfather in my head giving me advice and sometimes he visits my dreams. I loved him and I know he loves me.

I have always believed that there is no such thing as "death" and that what we call "death" is merely an illusion. We are never separate from God and He loves us all.

Michael said...

Some of the best advice I've ever received came from loved ones (alive, in this case) in dreams. I've overcome profound obstacles this way.

Leesa said...


I really enjoyed the story - I think this is more than your synapses getting all excited by neurotransmittors, I really do.

That is the nice thing about believing. To think something absent of proof.

Oh, and thanks for the kind words, too.

~Deb said...

It seems as though many people, if not all, have experienced a loved one visiting their dreams. Some brush it off and some really take it seriously. As I've asked on Leesa's site, what about those people who have had near-death experiences? They all see that bright light at the end of the tunnel when they die for a short period of time. Scientists believe it's a chemical in the brain which simulates this vision. Other people truly believe that it's the "light" you see when going to heaven.

What do you think?

Edge said...

Do you really think there are vampires? That's interesting if there are.


TK Kerouac said...

Not sure but what we don't deal with in life, haunts us in our dreams.

~Deb said...

Edge: There are "vampires" that practice rituals, not necessarily "blood sucking vampires", however ones who are obsessed and intrigued with the lifestyle itself. I've seen so many documentaries on this in Louisiana... If you click here, you can learn about the history of Vampires in New Orleans and where most of the 'hype' came from and what some actually still believe in. It's really interesting... But in my case, it strikes me during PMS time. ;)

Tk: Amen! I know that if I don't resolve issues brewing in my life, it definitely takes over my dreams. I absolutely hate that sometimes. I often get nightmares about anyone I am in conflict with. It's really disturbing. I guess the same can apply when you're grieving over a lost loved one - whether a death or break up.

グラント said...

All I remember from this morning's dream is wearing a black uniform with slicked-back hair (I looked about 17) and being paraded in front of crying children of various ages while somebody told them that it was possible to survive the training - I was (the only) living proof. Then they said something to me like "Random poisonings last up to an hour now - welcome home" and I had to battle venomous snakes hidden in my spartan bedroom.

I would kill whatever dead relative was responsible for that dream if he or she wasn't already dead. I can only hope that there is a Hell and that person is in it and being bitten by vampires.

~Deb said...

Killing dead people is quite a statement! If the person gets bit by a vampire, then you've lost...they've gained eternal life.

Hmm. Sure you want that? ;)

~Deb said...

And how did this turn into a vampire post??????????????


Cindi/Epona'Bri said...

I have had many dreams of ghosts, angels and spirits talking to me. In fact, last night I had three of them and then one of the first things I find is your blog. My daughter died 7 years ago at the age of 16 and has left many different kinds of messages and signs since her death. And she is also a February baby.. her birthday is Feb 13th.


~Deb said...

Hi Cindi,

Sorry to hear about your daughter. How fascinating about your dreams and the communication you have had with her. Do you think there's a tie that has to do with the spiritual world and Aquarians? Thanks for sharing that...

Grax said...

Now see, I ain't too sure if that whole 10% of the brain claim is accurate, especially if you do a Google search on the subject.

I can't imagine any part of the brain would be unused at any one moment in time. Sure it might hum with minimal activity, like a TV on standby, but it's still being used. It's like saying "I'm only using 10% of my heart", which sounds inaccurate. You might not be using it efficiently but you are using it 100%.


There is always time to talk about vampires, though I personally prefer werewolves.

Cindi/Epona'Bri said...

Hi Deb,

I hadn't thought about an Aquarian spirituality before, but you could be on to something...

I liked your comment about vampires... there is another coincidence... I'm in the middle of writing a book about vampires. But then again, who isn't?


Cindi/Epona'Bri said...

Grax, I agree with you... it seems to me if our brain stopped 10% of the time, our other organs might as well.

I know that the brain continues to work and explore during sleep, not only in dreams but in visitations and out of body experiences... I've had experience with both.


~Deb said...

Maybe the other 90% are all the involuntary actions our bodies do? Not sure. But I've heard that theory so many times.

Werewolves and vampires are hot topics with books! I'm morbidly fascinated by the vampire stories more than werewolves though.

Cindi - not sure about spiritual Aquarians, but maybe there's a gift for all signs in different areas, intuitions and psychic abilities... That's another whole post to write about! :)

What about dream interpretation and the ability to see the future in dreams? I've heard that one too. Would love to hear your thoughts on that.

Michelle (artscapes) said...

Great post.. I like to think that they do.... :)

Grax said...

"...So rather than continuing the brain talks on a blog entry about dead people getting their last words via dreams, I figured I'd address the brain issue here."

~Deb said...

Grax, I commented on your blog - a lengthy one, and then it seemed to have disappeared...and had slashes all throughout it...and when I went back in - my second comment was repeated 4 times. Very strange. Sorry about that!

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