Sunday, June 17, 2007

What? You're Offended, Nelson Garcia?

There are tons of hidden people out there online, surfing, lurking, participating in conversations, as well as pretending to be people they’re not. There are others who love to ruin someone’s reputation, only due to different beliefs and opinions. Blogs are blogs. They’re not a good resource as far as looking up important information about a person. I’ve come across many blogs that exploited innocent people, giving harsh opinions and judgments about them. It’s their right to speak their mind, but when does it come to the point of lying straight out about them?

Yesterday was my second year of blogging. Within that time, I’ve met some really awesome people, whether they were writers or people who stopped by to read what I had to say. I was honored. I started this blog because I was writing a book at the time. I’m a new writer- not a big top seller on the Barnes and Noble’s shelves, (I wish) however, it took a lot of energy, time and healing to write A Prayer Away From Healing. I was going through a rough break up and found solace by praying to God about my problems and writing down how God helped me through it all.

I don’t claim to be “accomplished”, as some people keep describing me as. I’m just a person who loves to put her thoughts, ideas and beliefs in a book or in a blog. I had several people who have read me insist that I went under different aliases, that I wasn’t really “gay”, and how my very own opinions were offensive. One person, who goes under the name of Kevin, was offended by one of my comments over at another blog. I explained that I didn’t particularly care for the word “pride” when speaking about my lifestyle. I also went on about how I thought the gay pride parades weren’t for me. I didn’t like some of the marchers who walked around half naked, holding explicit picket signs and having sexual encounters right in front of children and other people. How does this look for the gays and lesbians who are trying to tell society that we’re not freaks?

As the debate got heated, I made an apology over to Kevin, stating that my opinions may have been harsh, and that I was sorry if I had offended him. Another blogger that goes under the name “NG”, Nelson Garcia, had written me a very nasty email stating that I gave Kevin a “half ass apology”, because my apology was coincided with an embarrassing event that took place in my life days after. The whole story revolved around my sense of pride, and how I was reacting to everything lately in a negative way. I was being honest and opening up to my readers. Kevin graciously accepted my apology and we resolved everything civily. Nelson Garcia was still infuriated by it all.

Nelson continued to harass me, and then resorted to lying about me on the internet. He stated on his blog that I was going under a different alias- who happens to be "Loud Mouth". He usually sides with me, and no- he is not my alter ego. He is a real person who I know personally. Nelson kept emailing me with insults and threats that he was going to reveal how my book was selling. Okay… Fine. Knock yourself out, but why would you put all that negative energy into a person you don’t even know? He stated that he was going to display my ranking number each time a New York ip or surrounding area would appear on his blog. (His assumption of my area included cities that were nearly 5 hours apart from one another...great tracking system!) Please---state my ranking numbers so people will buy my book! I was hysterical over his obsession with me- then I saw what this guy is all about. He’s an angry little gay man who doesn’t talk about anything other than exploiting people and politicians who have been caught in sexual acts or some other controversial matter. He’s a busybody- a wash woman if you will. He thrives on gossip, particularly the Republican Party. He looks to defame and embarrass, when in fact, the embarrassing part about this all is his very own blog.

Nelson Garcia has an ad out on his blog that says, “Hot Gay Hook Ups For Men”, while he blasts politicians and bloggers about having opinions of their own. It was part of a google ad. In his profile description, it reads:

“The views and or opinions are mine and mine alone and do not necessarily represent the views of the online gay and lesbian community. So there.”

So there? Is Nelson the only one allowed to have an opinion or thought? It baffles me that there are so many closed-minded homosexuals out there, when in fact, they are craving for acceptance from others. How can he gain acceptance by bashing every single person who has made a humanly mistake, or has done things differently than him? Or...has he done the same and is just reflecting upon his own nature? He’s a the ultimate hypocrite who doesn’t understand the meaning of tolerance…yet this is what “his community” stands for? This is what they fight for? Don’t you have to give back in order to receive? Maybe not in Nelson’s world, but the desire to tear people down is a sign of unhappiness within himself.

I’m starting not to like the phrase “gay community”, only because we have so many unique individuals that I wouldn’t want to be associated with. Am I being discriminating? I don’t believe so, but when a strong-minded gay person starts bashing everyone and their mother out of pure anger and resentment, you have to take a step back and think, what are his/her motives?

The ironic part about this all, is that there are sites that Nelson is affiliated with, which distribute and emphasize on gay sex. It’s purely promiscuous and actually, down right smut. So, when I read his new post about some politician going down due to sexual exploitation, I have to wonder how this makes Nelson feel, since he’s living in a perverse world of his own.

Take a peek at Nelson Garcia’s blog and notice the anger he stirs up…within himself. Pray for him, that his anger subsides and that he becomes more tolerant to those who are like himself. It's kind of sad.

It’s a shame that my view on the “gay community” has dwindled because of people like Nelson Garcia. I really don’t feel that my opinion about the gay pride parades is offensive, since some of the marchers are offensive to me. How can I ever think to bring my nieces or nephews to one of these, if there is way too much sexual activity going on? You just can’t anymore. It only takes a few to ruin a good thing.


Enemy of the Republic said...

I just went there. He's angry in general, plus he conveniently won't allow comments, meaning he doesn't want debate. Some of his political observations are apt, but I haven't the faintest idea what he has against you, and this stuff about Loud Mouth is absurd. Deb, I've been attacked as well--drives me nuts sometimes. Right now I'm still visiting some blogs, but I'm not writing for a while--I haven't been attacked recently, but I've seen it done to enough folks that I just am pulling back. Debate is healthy; hurting people never is. I get attacked by Christians all the time, and it hurts when you think that your own kind is taking you to task because you differ on dogma, but you accept the same God. As always, I am sorry you are suffering, and you know I am in your corner. Bless you, my friend.

Loud Mouth said...

I’m chimin’ in yo! NG’s a nutcase. This guy’s angry with everyone. And who you kidding Deb----I AM YOUR CONSCIENCE! MUAHAHA! All this slanderous bullshit is a ploy to get him more attention on his blog since he doesn’t have none. No wonder why he thought I was you! We have the same opinion on him! He hates it!

God speed!

Natalia said...

Yeah. I tend to ignore the bloggers who are looking for some meaning in their lives by getting into cyber-arguments. It's pointless. I mean, I will have civilized conversations. But you can tell when someone lives for their blog and their online persona. Sad.


Kevin said...

Hey Deb,
You said "One person, who goes under the name of Kevin." That is really my actual name (and I give my real last name in the name of my blog). I figured you knew that, but I just wanted to make that clear--and I am not 'John.' :)

~Deb said...

I have no qualms about a debate or discussion that opposes one another, however, the distasteful way that NG has represented himself made me see a very ugly side. It’s people like him who give the “gay community” a bad name. He lives off the gossip drama in blogworld and attacks anyone who may think differently than he does.

He is a little angry gay man. I can just see guy typing away- a few posts at a time within a day, ranting about all the politicians and bloggers who offended him. Get over it, you know? Life itself is offensive sometimes.

He wrote:

” She offers a half assed apology to Kevin (of whom she refers to in the possessive) then proceeds to not only justify her position but then tell a story about being at a grocery store one day and having a sudden urge to go to the bathroom.

I kid you not.

Yep, another one who projects their personal hygiene at the expense of the rest of us.

And she has the unmitigated call to tell me I need God in my life.

If anything, honey, you are exactly why I don't need God in my life.

If ever there was a more exemplary case of why it is I'm disdainful towards the christian gay community, this be it.

Dare I say (or write) again.. I won't be at all surprised to read one day that Debra Pasquella has gone ex-gay. In fact, the sooner she does, the better the gay community as a whole will be off.”

First of all, it wasn’t a post about personal hygiene. If he read the entire post, it was about two people irate over an embarrassing circumstance. I’m not sure if his reading comprehension skills are lacking, but it was far from “half assed”. My apology to Kevin was sincere and heartfelt.

He makes assumptions that I’m going to be an “ex-gay”? The guy apparently has issues to tend with.

I hope that Kevin feels differently than NG does.

Thanks for being so understanding Kevin!

NG should be the one giving a public apology...just for creating a blog. ;)

~Deb said...

Kevin, I just assume everyone is "anonymous". I didn't mean anything by it...

M said...

Sometimes I'm sad that I don't get a large amount of traffic to my blog (although I do get more than I ever expected). Then I read things like this and am reminded that I might not want all that much traffic.

(Some part of me hopes my dad will stumble on it, though. Tee hee.)

~Deb said...

M: You're right. There are pros and cons to having traffic. The main thing you have is content, as well as increasing traffic. I want a full update if your dad stumbles upon your blog! :)

kathi said...

Praying you!

Christinewjc said...

Ahhh! Scary!

When I clicked onto your blog and saw that picture, at first I thought I must have ended up on the wrong blog! Upon closer examination...I realized it was your blog.

(BTW, that guy on the right in the pic has a bad case of the rash on his butt...)

Anyway, hi Deb! Just stopping by to see how you are doing. I see that you are in the midst of another blog war with this NG person. I wonder what those two letters stand for (we could have fun with that...)




He he...that was fun.

I know that you generally don't like to read at my blog anymore, but one of today's posts called "Peace, Contentment in the Midst of the Storms of Life" might be comforting to you at this time.

God bless!

Miss 1999 said...

"It baffles me that there are so many closed-minded homosexuals out there, when in fact, they are craving for acceptance from others"

Honey, they're EVERYWHERE, not just homosexuals, trust me on that one. There are so many close-minded people, pissing and moaning about one thing or another, while at the same time, starved to be accepted by someone.

It's really sad that so many are so insecure and angry. You're a good person, who knows who she is, and what she wants in life, and there are a lot of people who don't. They're envious of this, and instead of taking that envy, and turning it into something positive (IE: trying to better themselves), they decide to bitch and moan because they aren't whom/what they want to be.

Just ignore 'em. As I've always said, "Don't Feed The Trolls!"

*Hugs and Love*

Amy said...

I am in total agreement with you on this.

First, keep in mind I am not a conservative person. Second, I am a lesbian. Third, I have had my share of gay pride parades, dyke marches, Folsom Street Fairs and exposure to, well...exposure. I lived in The Castro, The Mission and other relatively freedom-of-expression based neighborhoods. Each was wonderful because people are free to "be" in places like these. I've been known to lift my top a time or two myself...

That said, the kind of nudity seen at many ‘a gay pride event frequently exceeds the boundaries of what I (and I am not alone in this) consider to be tasteful. Nor do I find it to be helpful to the cause of advancing common perceptions of gays, lesbians, transgender people, et all. This isn't about oppression or discrimination, it is about what is fitting for an audience that contains children, people who already have imbalanced perceptions of what it means to be gay or lesbian, and people who may just be on the verge of discovering that gay people are not all "twinks", 'hussies", and man-haters with low-hanging boobs. It is irresponsible to expose children to views of hairy butts strapped into leather harnesses. Floppy sunburnt jugs with dyke oriented slogans fingerpainted on them is not a treat for wee ones to look at. It is cruel to their poor little eyes! They just aren’t ready for that sort of thing, and frankly I’m not always ready for it either.

They Gay Community...we are always on about how the government should stay out of our bedrooms, yet so many of us bring our bedrooms out into the public!

Gaystraightqueerlesbo…I don’t care what you are, just show a little decorum!

Of course, gay events are not the only places where kids are potentially exposed to nudity. I remember my hippie parents taking me to the nude beach when I was little and I just felt so horrified. Since we come from a group that is already so hated and vilified as sexual predators, gays and lesbians have to remind themselves: Since pride events have an element of political agenda to them, it is up to the participants to maintain a level of good taste and propriety, especially because we are trying to break barriers here people! Public lewdness is never appropriate!

Didn’t we learn from our parents and Sesame Street that if a strange man or woman is exposing his or her personal pluming in public, there is a problem and to tell an adult immediately? You never saw Bert and Ernie running up and down Sesame Street waving their foam penises at Bob, Susan and Gordon and everyone. Imagine Mr. Hooper seeing that! He was the nicest guy, but do you think he’d want them in his store if they did that?

I find it very selfish that that some members of the gay community can’t (or won’t) expand their horizons and choose to relate to society on a whole rather than conveying their presence sexually. They are feeding the right-winged, bible thumping, discrimination machine.

Charlotte Pride had to cancel their 2006 event because they are so hated and what happened when I clicked the “gaypride” link at the site?

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This doesn’t make me proud to be gay.

As far as the jerks that keep harassing you and pointing out everything that they don't like about you, you need to know that you are doing a great job with your blog. For two years you have been writing your heart and spirit. That is no small feat! It takes a huge amount of commitment and inner strength to approach this blog every day like you do, especially with so many people who like to oppose you on a personalized scale.

NG is barking up the wrong tree and making a mountain out of a molehill.

How did he get what he got out of your apology to Kevin? Expressing personal hygiene? You were telling a funny, human story to simply show an admission of crossed-wires in communication, and it was meant for Kevin and you to connect on a level that was higher than the one you originally were on.

What a doofus.

It is ironic how on one side, you have Christian Fundamentalists telling you you shouldn't be Christian, and now you have NG presuming that you are going to become an ex-gay...

Don't listen to either side, pussycat, you know who you are.

I know who you are, too. So does loudmouth, who, BTW, is going to see Shakespeare in the Vineyard with us on Saturday!

Bring your bee protection!
Wine, grapes, and cheese provided!

~Deb said...

Kathi: Thanks sweetie! Love you back!

Christine: You thought I flipped my lid, huh? (ha!!!) Hmm, I didn’t look that closely to that rash problem, we’ll have to ask “NG” about that one. Maybe he’ll be more familiar with that sort of thing, since he’s affiliated with so many perverted websites, and yet preaches to conservatives who tap into the same ones he does. Ironic. And, even though you and I disagree upon certain matters, I still read your blog and there are things that comfort me on there…You’re sweet for stopping by.

Miss 1999: “Don’t feed the trolls”…I love that. It just confuses me how people can be so miserable. But, yet, I kind of understand it. Usually when people are so hateful towards themselves, it reflects outwards onto other people. He’s starting to believe his own lies. Total waste of a blog… Thanks Christy!

Amy: I just love your way of words! (haha) ”Floppy sunburnt jugs with dyke oriented slogans finger painted on them is not a treat for wee ones to look at. It is cruel to their poor little eyes!”
The apology made for “KEVIN”, and not NG, was sincere and heartfelt. It was none of NG’s business to begin with. I knew that my harsh opinions made Kevin upset---and my words were harsh regarding the topic on the perverse nature that takes place at gay pride parades. I generalized instead of pointing out that there were a “select few” who do that. I just don’t want to see that, nor do I want my little ones witnessing such perverted acts. It makes the gays and lesbians look bad, when we’re trying to make a point. To tell you the truth, I’ve received more acceptance from the fundies than with my own---NG. I don’t even want to call him, ‘one of my own’. He’s scary.
Thanks for your well thought out comment!

D.B. Echo said...

I've always been baffled by some concepts of "communities." Over and over again I've heard the question asked "Well, how will Black (or sometimes African-American) voters vote? Who will they support in the election?" As though there is some sort of convention of Black (or African-American) voters that is held where they determine how they are going to vote as a group! I'm always waiting for the interviewee to turn the question around and say "I don't know, why don't you tell me who the White voters like in this election? Which candidate will they support?"

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this comment, I just wanted to squeak that out. Any group can claim to speak for a larger group, with or without justification - take William Donohue's "Catholic League", which no more represents or speaks for all Catholics any more than I do. I suppose I'm saying that it's as silly to assume there's a monolithic "gay" community as it is to assume there's a monolithic "straight" community.

~Deb said...

NG---the angry little gay man writes:

Besides that, you've no idea, Debra whether you're coming or going; you didn't like the fact that I called you out, and, most of it all, you couldn't withstand the sudden online silence. You sought creative ways to visit my blog and you bit your nails wondering if I was going to find out and report on how miserably your book is doing. And when I didn't, you couldn't handle it, so much so, that just a couple of days ago, you posted a "sorry we're closed" announcement, only to come back and dumb yourself even further. And you did it all on your own.

So bring your readers here. I invite them to see it all, what I said, and you said, unedited, as exactly as it took place via e-mail. And maybe, just maybe, I'll even post them all again, but this time with full headers so everyone can see for themselves not only what you wrote, but when and where. That, of course, will be up to you, or the first dimwit who attempts to justify their stupidity thru this blog.”

NG, if you weren’t cyber stalking me and constantly on my site, you wouldn’t have read my “we’re closed” sign. I was closed for the weekend---meaning I have a life. No nail biting here buddy… I sought out creative ways to visit your blog? The only way I found out that you were writing about me was through other people. Your blog is worthless----it’s just disgusting gossip. I don’t particularly care for exploiting people in their human weaknesses, as you do.

The only stupidity spewing out is from you and your writing. You’re a scary little cyber creature who apparently has some social issues.

Maybe if you weren’t so tangled up being so angry at other people, you could see that my attempt to Kevin was sincere—but it’s not for you to determine that…it was for Kevin. He already determined it was sincere…

Also, my book has sold throughout the few years it’s been published. I’ve never claimed it was a breadwinning book, but I’m happy that I have helped many people overcome their fear regarding their sexuality vs. their religion. It’s published, it’s out there, and it’s consistently selling----maybe not on a full scale like a top seller, but regardless…it’s out there. What about your book? If you want to tally up the ranks- do so. May I tally up your site’s complete visits? 8,932. Hmm… Lack of content? Too much anger? Not accepted enough as an angry gay man?

What do you do for our community, besides bash people who have different views? Is it productive? Do you think it helps the gay community establish respect? All that anger is going to eventually give you a stroke or heart attack. It’s not healthy---in all seriousness.

Write all you want about me. Each thing you have written was a complete lie and you are actually on the borderline of being libelous through your statements. Keep em’ coming. My readers know my location. My ip address varies with each location I’m at. Get a clue. Do you think that affects me? Do you think that your ~exposure~ about where I am is actually something new? I list it on my profile. Behind the anonymous “NG” name you have given yourself behind your computer in the Bronx is no surprise that you’ve got balls to speak your mind…without the gumption to speak about who you are…or what your name is. Shall I dare say lack of balls?


Amy said...

Why does he care so much about how your book is selling?

What exactly does he think he is exposing? He is trying to find a smoking gun where there isn't one.

If anyone needs to know anything about you, all they have to do is read your blog.

You know what? He is just trying to get readers. His numbers probably jumped when you posted this because we all clicked over to his site from yours.

NG has set himself up as a critic. He like to write about what everyone else is doing. He is looking for an argument because he is so pent up, and you are his traget right now.

I don't think I would engage in it.

Enemy of the Republic said...

M: I wil visit your blog soon.

Deb, I get you. Blogging can be fun, but when it gets into stuff like this, it is a chore. I blog to release my thoughts and now I enjoy the cyber friends (some who have become real life friends as I hope you will be soon--NY is so close). I actually have more to add on some of his statements, but I will save it for an email.

~Deb said...

Amy: I guess he wants to prove to everyone that I’m not a “successful writer”? But, the only reason why I write is because I love to express my opinions, as he does, as well as share my beliefs with others who struggle with being gay as well as loving God. When I first even thought about publishing a book----I did NOT care one bit about selling it! I care more about those who truly need comfort in that area. I keep cracking up when he puts my ranking number up, because I am just so grateful that I have a steady amount of people purchasing it, through my website as well as the book stores, that the “making it rich factor” has nothing to do with it. He has no concept of helping others---he only thinks about the dollar. Again, he’s very angry – and not just with me, but with the world, and most of all, with himself.

Enemy: I just think it’s comical and sad at the same time. It’s comical, because he thinks he’s offending me by critiquing my writing, yet it’s sad, because he critiques every person living on this earth. There’s an underlying personality disorder brewing with this guy.

Loud Mouth said...

He just tore up Enemy of the Republic by saying she lies and she wasn’t a Christian. This dude needs God, no doubt! Deb, (AS YOUR CONSCIENCE SPEAKING ) I’d advise you to stay away from godless little trolls. He also stated that you told the world he was promoting a book. WHAT BOOK? And he said it was fraudulent. Is this nutcase on crack or wha???

Brotha needs to take the hamsters out of the cage, know what I mean?
Major blockage!

Enemy of the Republic said...

I hadn't even visited since my comment. Thanks for the heads up, Loud Mouth.