Living Proof

There's really nothing you can say when somebody loses their favorite person in the world to a horrible disease. Some say, the worst kind of grief is losing a child, and others say the worst kind of grief is losing a mother or father. I say, the worst kind of grief is losing someone who had your heart, whether it be your spouse, parent, child or sibling. Even losing a close friend is absolutely devastating. Loss can be devastating to many people. Even the final loss of our childhood home was traumatic for everyone in my family. Just because I still lived there because we were caring for mom and dad doesn't mean those in my immediate family who didn't live there didn't feel the heartbreaking pain of the thought of, "I can never return there ever again." My sisters mourned over the loss of our childhood home because it symbolized our youth, our togetherness, our upbringing, our family holidays, lazy Sundays sun worshipping by the pool---all in all, it symboliz...

When we finally planned to move out of our old ancestral home, I swore up and down that I would never go back for a visit. I knew what that meant for me. After cleaning out my parent's walk-in closet, tossing the suits in one pile, sweaters and shirts in a another, memories of when they wore these items just came flooding through my mind, my heart, and eventually spilled out as tears. I couldn't do it anymore. Madelene had to take over, and by the time all was said and done, we had about 30 Hefty bags of every article of clothing they had ever owned. I took this one sweater my mom wore all the time and tucked it away in my own closet. I asked my siblings numerous times to come over to rummage through their room to take a keepsake or an item of clothing, but as soon as they did, the tears fell and they quickly ran out of their room. Totally understandable. I wanted to give them a chance to take what they wanted. We still have a lot of stuff of our own inside that house. With...

For the most part, I can safely say that most of us like to be thought of as a "good person," or somebody to be respected in whatever way. When you focus on the fact that somebody out there is creating some sort of smear campaign against your character, this deeply affects a certain type of person. I'll put it this way: if you have nothing to worry about, then this will most likely not affect you. The reason being is that perhaps, the people listening to the garbage already know you, and they know your character and will take things with a grain of salt. Most people look at the source of who is saying these negative things about you. If it happens to be, what I call a "gossip hen," then most will definitely overlook the inflammatory comments or accusations against you. I remember an acquaintance of mine recently told me something negative about another mutual acquaintance. My #1 rule is this: never take it as truth. Always judge for yourself. I don't liste...

It's strange, I used to think it was a blessing if someone can be open and honest enough to talk about their struggles to a friend or loved one, but I'm finding that some people can't handle certain things. And that's ok! For example, if you're grieving like I am, and you talk about your lost loved one and still having a hard time coping from time to time, people tend to get scared of the intensity of your grief. It's totally understandable too. I remember when my mother was still alive, and a friend of mine had lost her mom. It was like my mind couldn't absorb the impact of what my friend was going through. I didn't know how to approach her, or how to even comfort her. I thought that maybe she needed some time alone to deal with her incredible loss. I mean, what could I have possibly done in order to help someone with the worst grief imaginable? Part of me was scared---scared of losing my own mother, and scared of facing the reality of what can happen...

Is everything ok? And of course, the answer is, "I'm fine." All of us walk around with so much emotional baggage, no matter who you are and what you've been through. If I said to you right now---think of something that breaks your heart. You're either already thinking about it, or have the mental archived file pretty handy. We've all been hurt, we've all lost someone, either through death or by breakup, and if you dig deep enough, you can still feel that initial pain. There's definitely healing with time, but time does not take away the heartbreak. God heals all wounds, but it's in our weaknesses that He is strong for us. Like being afraid to do something---it's not trying to get rid of the fear in order to do something that you're afraid of, it's having the courage to do it in fear. That's what being strong is all about.  Courage is to face something that absolutely terrifies you. God doesn't take the fear away, he gives yo...

At the risk of sounding like a party-pooper, I've never been a real fan of Halloween. I do however, love the foliage, and how the vibrant colors can make the darkest of days seem bright. As a writer and musician, my creativity is at its highest...and so are my emotions. I guess if you look at artists, (writers, painters, musicians, sculptors, etc.,) you'll notice that their best work is done at the highest peak of their emotional state. We feel more. We grieve more. We even sense other people's emotions, as most of us are empaths. We have an intuitive way about others, whether we tap into it or not. If you read about the origins of Halloween, (All Hallows Eve)---it's celebrated on the 31st of October however, tracing back to its roots, this holiday was really celebrated as Samhain, a time where death was celebrated. Samhain was a celebration of the death cycle of Mother Earth and the honoring of the downtime between the end and the start of a new cycle. It's als...

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." I've always loved that quote, because it's true on so many levels. To talk about great ideas, making new and exciting plans means you're setting up a positive future. The "average" mind discusses events, past tense---to live in the past is to be depressed, to live in the future can drum up anxiety. Anxiety can be good or bad, depending on how you look at it. There is anxiety that is equivalent to anticipation, and I believe that's what this quote speaks about. But whenever I hear someone talking about somebody else's business, or speaking poorly of them, I always know that in my heart my name will be next on their list of discussion. In Judaism, it clearly speaks about how gossip can kill. They say, "Evil gossip kills three: the one who says it, the one who listens, and the subject of the gossip." Eventually, if all invo...