Thursday, December 05, 2019

When You Feel Mistreated and Betrayed

For the most part, I can safely say that most of us like to be thought of as a "good person," or somebody to be respected in whatever way. When you focus on the fact that somebody out there is creating some sort of smear campaign against your character, this deeply affects a certain type of person. I'll put it this way: if you have nothing to worry about, then this will most likely not affect you. The reason being is that perhaps, the people listening to the garbage already know you, and they know your character and will take things with a grain of salt. Most people look at the source of who is saying these negative things about you. If it happens to be, what I call a "gossip hen," then most will definitely overlook the inflammatory comments or accusations against you. I remember an acquaintance of mine recently told me something negative about another mutual acquaintance. My #1 rule is this: never take it as truth. Always judge for yourself. I don't listen to somebody else's story, even if it is true, because that's not "my" experience with the said individual. And even if I have a bad experience with somebody, that's my business alone. I do not believe in smear campaigns, or ruining somebody's reputation just because of one bad experience. If I don't particularly care for someone, and another person talks highly of them, I never "correct them." And that's something many people know about me.

Suicide is Not the Answer

I am writing this because I have a friend who recently tried to take her own life. She was extremely disheartened over what her closest friends had said about her. So with her permission, she let me write this post (anonymously of course) because I was where she was not too long ago for different reasons. 

My reaction to what she was upset over is pretty much summed up here:

Eventually, if you truly want to get to know somebody better, give it time. 

"You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions." ---Matthew 7:15-20 

Most of all, you can get a good glimpse of somebody's character by their words, or "loose" topics. I tend to shy away from people who are too eager to talk about something entirely inappropriate, or the ones who corner you with gossip you don't need to listen to. Those type of weak-minded people are bored. They're looking to drum up some kind of drama because they have nothing spectacular brewing in their own lives. It's also a sign of low self-esteem, so whenever this happens, just pray for them and keep them at arm's length. They need you to side with them and make them appear relevant. 

Many years ago, I lived in this sort of mess. It was so exhausting. There's a scripture that I now live by. It has helped me a great deal, because it encompasses all things that are soothing, calming and good for the soul. I don't care how other people live, or what they do or who says what about who. 

I care about this: 

"Even so, I have noticed one thing, at least, that is good. It is good for people to eat well, drink a good glass of wine (yes yes yes) and enjoy their work---whatever they do under the sun---for however long God lets them live. And it is a good thing receive wealth from God and good health to enjoy it. To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life---that is indeed, a gift from God. People who do this rarely look with sorrow on the past, for God has given them reasons for joy." ---Ecclesiastes 5:18-20

Perspective

To enjoy your life with good health is everything! Of course there are going to be some challenging times in our lives, but it's up to us to trust God and let Him work it out for you. Not too long ago, I was having a really hard time coping. It brought me to one of my lowest points. I sought out for help, and reached out to God. It was as if He lifted me out of the pit into a higher level of mental stability and health. To have experienced that kind of low made me realize how precious life really is. It also made me more aware of how many people struggle with their mental health, especially around the holidays. I knew this was a trigger for mine, but I looked around at all of God's blessings that are still with me today, and gained a new perspective. Sometimes, you have to crash and burn in order for God to build you back up. Our challenging times are the pressing times. Just like grapes that get pressed and crushed---it eventually comes out as fine wine. So never be ashamed about what you have been through or what you are experiencing right now. Just know that it does get better, and your perspective is everything. Once a negative thought slips into your mind, replace it with one of God's promises. 

Don't Drink Their Poison

Never let somebody's accusations about you make you fall into that pit of despair. Care about what God thinks of you---not what people may assume about you. Sometimes, it surprises me how much other people give a rat's tail about how others think or talk about them. Let them talk! Let the other people see the source and judge for themselves, and if the people who are listening are intelligent enough, they'll find out for themselves instead of listening to this sour grapevine. 

When you think about it---it's like, why can't everyone just be kind? Why can't people mind their own business? Why can't people shut their mouths and not cause trouble? 

Why? Because they're bored. Idle time is the devil's playground. And that's a fact.

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com
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