A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there. When my mom passed away, my anxiety began to increase at an alarming speed. I was scared of everything. I was scared to go out. I was scared to stay inside. I was just a mess. I started to get answers to my prayers, so I kept a journal writing down each prayer, and then I would write down any answers I feel that came from God Himself. I made my way out to go to grief counseling. After the session, I got in my car to go home. As I was pulling out, the radio was on a Christian station. It said, "Doing something you fear and trusting God will put you in a better position the next time around. Ask for God's strength and you can do anything in His name. When you have faith, this requires actions, because faith without actions is dead. It means you don't trust Him enough to take care of you while you are walking in fear."
"And it is not fit for 'kings' to guzzle wine. 'Rulers' should not crave liquor. For if they drink, they may forget their duties and be unable to give justice to those who are oppressed. Liquor is for the dying, and wine is for those in deep depression. Let them drink to forget their poverty and remember their troubles no more." ---Proverbs 31:4-7
Translating---kings and rulers meaning, God needed me to be at a higher position in life--to be more reliable and to work with clarity instead of always being in a state of fear and anxiety. And when it says that wine is for those in deep depression---yes, I was in a deep depression due to my grief as well as my anxiety, but that wasn't what God had planned for my life. For some, wine is good for those who are having a hard time. But for those meant to reach higher, He needed me to put down the wine and pick up something better. Soon after I had given up the booze, I started sleeping better. I started attending church services just to be around other people who loved God as much as I did. I started to do more things, and miraculously, my agoraphobia disappeared because with the alcohol being taken out of the equation, my anxiety and depression lessened. I started to wake up early, making coffee and breakfast as I did years ago, before my mom got sick. I started to enjoy life again. I know my mom would want that for me.
"God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not fear, even if earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea." ---Psalm 46:1-2
"He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; He offers strength to the weak... Those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." ---Isaiah 40:29-31
Whenever you're feeling scared and alone, go into a room, shut the door behind you and pray to God. Keep doing this until you start feeling His answers. I have a prayer and answer journal. I write down my prayers and I always get an answer from God through many mysterious ways. But His answers are all written down in my journal. But the only reason why I received answers was because I expected answers. Faith is hope, but strong faith is the expectation that comes along with it. Stop relying on people and start trusting God instead.
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