I keep a journal of my prayers, along with God's answers. One of my prayers was speaking about my one week without alcohol. I was thanking Him for giving me this discovery and how good I felt. Right after my prayer, I opened the Bible to this scripture:
"And it is not for kings to guzzle wine. Rulers should not crave liquor. For if they drink, they may forget their duties and be unable to give justice to those who are oppressed. Liquor is for the dying, and wine for those in deep depression. Let them drink to forget their poverty and remember their troubles no more." ---Proverbs 31:4-7
For me, this scripture spoke to me. Without focusing on "kings and rulers" --- I felt as if God was saying that He had greater things in mind for me, so if I want to go higher in life, I need to not crave liquor or guzzle my wine. And He also wanted me to heal from my grief of losing my mother, so the wine isn't helping at all, in fact, it was exasperating it to a level of complicated grief, which is a form of clinical depression.
So if you're suffering with the same things I did: fear, insomnia, agoraphobia and grief, maybe try praying every single day, and try eliminating things or substances from your life to see if it's the culprit. I also attend church on Sundays---not because "it's the right thing to do for a Christian" ---because I don't believe that. I believe church starts at home. But for me, I believe being surrounded by other people who love God as much as I do edifies me and also educates me. I've learned a lot more about my Bible too. It's good to have friends of every creed, but it's also good to fellowship with those who believe as you do.
Have faith and expect God to work in your life. If you have an inkling of doubt while praying to God, the answers to your prayers will take that much longer to get to you. Have faith, EXPECT God to answer you, and also, expect God to remove something that's blocking the path of your blessing. For me, my wine was the only thing I truly looked forward to at the end of the day. And now? I look forward to days with clarity, productive weeks filled with accomplishment and success due to God's help. I look forward to prayer and meditating on God's Word every single morning, whether for 30 minutes or two hours. I sometimes lose track because being in His presence has overwhelmed my heart with complete love and acceptance of who I am. God doesn't need you to be "perfect" and "holier than thou" --- He just needs you to believe and trust. That's it.
I will be writing more about my testimony as my journey goes on. I'm excited about my new life, and I'm hoping that maybe someone out there will be inspired by what God has done for me, because He can do this for you too. If you ever need to reach me, please reach me by sending a message in the box on the right side of this blog, or follow me on Twitter to send a DM.
Thanks for reading.
For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog for some of her famous recipes!