And it clearly states that in this scripture:
"And now about prayer. When you pray, don't be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I assure you, that is all the reward they will ever get. But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father secretly. Then your Father, who knows all secrets, will reward you. When you pray, don't babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered only by repeating their words again and again. Don't be like them because your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!"--Matthew 6:5-8
For instance, I had an issue with tachycardia due to drinking because I was trying to self-medicate my anxiety away, to only make it worse. In one section of my notebook, I had written, "My heart races, I'm having anxiety and in extreme pain."
During this time, I would get these pseudo painful episodes that left doctors clueless. I must've gone through a hundred cat scans (which isn't good) and other testing to only find out that I was in perfect health....thankfully!
Immediately after writing that prayer down and letting God know how scared I was, I came across this scripture.
"My heart, my heart---I writhe in pain! My heart pounds within me. I cannot be still." --Jeremiah
Right after reading this scripture, not even a minute afterwards, the doctor calls me regarding my pain and if I was feeling better...and I was.
Needless to say, it's been taking a long time to get things moving, and of course, to get us moving as well. And wouldn't you know it---here comes winter with its snow and ice. Once again, I'm freaking out. We've been arguing over this for a long time and for some reason, she doesn't seem to want to move out. It's a beautiful home when it's lived in. It's a perfect home, if more than two people lived here. It's also a very lonely place if it's just you and the sounds of coyotes, just to remind you of how scary it is to just walk your 10 lb chihuahua outside.
So this was my prayer word for word:
"I can't understand why God isn't coming through for me - why am I still fighting, arguing over what I want with Mad still? Why am I so depressed?"
The answer came through scripture:
"So put away all falsehood and tell your neighbor the truth, because we belong to each other. And don't sin by letting anger gain control over you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a might foothold to the devil. " --Ephesians 4:25-27
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words and slander, as well as types of malicious behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." --Ephesians 4:31-32
"Why am I discouraged? Why so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise Him again--my Savior and my God! Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember your kindness--from Mount Hermon, the source of Jordan from the land of Mount Mizar." --Psalm 42:5-6
I'm not perfect. I'm a little messy, unraveled and sometimes rude. I make mistakes, I curse a little and at times, I can become depressed and hopeless. This is all the more reason I need God. Every single morning, I make Him first. If you make God first in the day, your attitude completely changes. He gives you the strength to face anything. I definitely want to make God first on my schedule rather than anything else that comes flying my way. You don't have to have Christian paraphernalia hanging from your neck or Jesus bumper stickers, in fact, most people who do are often the ones who will flip you the bird on your evening commute home.
"HOW ARE YOU?"
During prayer, I brought up this issue, about people just venting out their frustrations to me, with never even asking how I'm doing. I actually heard my mother's voice in my heart saying, "It's the only way they know, forgive them." It's like Jesus saying on the cross, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." Funny thing is, even if they did ask me how I was doing, I'd probably just say, "Fine, how's it going?" I don't like to burden others with my issues, and usually, I am pretty much a private person. When it comes to this blog, I tell personal things about my life in order that it may help someone else dealing with similar issues.
Anytime you're feeling unsure about a situation in your life or a problem with someone else, whether it be family or friends, pray about it, but most of all, put faith behind it. Expect God to answer. Watch Him work in your life as He does in mine. I can't tell you how much peace He has given me just by communicating with Him every single morning. It's the one thing that has truly saved my life is many ways.
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