Continuing to constantly struggle between what’s right and what’s wrong is a major challenge that everyone has. What’s ‘right’ for you may not be right for somebody else. Each person is designed and created to do different works here on earth. I’d like to think of us as the old corporate saying goes, ‘the link’. You’re an important link to what God is trying to accomplish. We need different people of various lifestyles in order to maintain balance. “Well he/she’s not living a life of God.” No one can say that. Maybe God has used you or someone else in order for others to learn a valuable lesson. We only see a small scope of God’s work, but God sees the big picture.
You were getting along so well. Who has interfered with you to hold you back from following the truth? It certainly isn’t God, for he is the one who called you to freedom. But it takes only one wrong person among you to infect all the others—a little yeast spreads quickly through the whole batch of dough! I am trusting the Lord to bring you back to believing as I do about these things. God will judge that person, whoever it is, who has been troubling and confusing you. ~ Galatians 5:7-10
When it comes to believing in Christ and His ability to see our hearts, we still sometimes rely on other people’s judgments. We’re not living a life that’s “right” with God. Who is? We try to be good to everyone, make peace and spread love. We treat others the way others want to be treated. We’re generous in what we do and we hope for the best for others. We love. We’re kind to others making sure that our loved ones and people we don’t even know are well and okay. And yes, we all have our sins that we struggle with – our crosses to bear if you will. It’s called being human. Anyone who judges the cross that you have to bear will be judged by God in due time. It’s just not our job to watch over other Christians and make sure they’re living a perfect Christian life.
I’ve even noticed a pattern that has been taken place lately. The more I pray, the more challenges are thrown my way. I first thought, “I prayed today for an hour, how can this happen to me?" But if you really analyze how evil and good works, you’ll know that once you draw closer to the ‘good’, the evil will throw everything negative at you in order for you to blame it on the good, or take away your trust in God. It totally makes sense when I think about it that way. If I keep praying about it, the challenges seem to get less and less, but they’re still there. As Christians, (especially those who are newbies), the devil loves to make you stumble with your walk with Christ. He’ll do absolutely anything to make you live a life full of negativity. Just the other day the devil through me a big bag full of anxiety attacks. I prayed. The next day, the devil threw me a bigger bag full of depression and fatigue. I prayed lying down in distress.
All glory to God, who is able to keep you from stumbling, and who will bring you into his glorious presence innocent of sin and with great joy. ~Jude 1:24
As I jot down scriptures on this post, they are not passages that I had already planned out to write. With each paragraph, I open up the bible and point to a scripture. It seems to fit with each paragraph that I write down on here. Again, like I said in my previous post, God speaks to me in many ways. Call it psychotic, call it what you will, but I truly believe that once you connect with God and put all your faith in Him sincerely, He will give you the answers.
This morning when I woke up, I had a huge anxiety attack. I was perplexed because it came out of nowhere. I was content and working on my things at home. What would have brought this on? I prayed. I went out into my car and a radio station was tuned into the Christian network. It was talking about peace and being content. The pastor said, “Calm down for just one moment and pray.” My fear subsided and I was able to concentrate on the road. I came back to the house and picked up the first book I published just to refresh my memory of what I did back then. I do this periodically. It helps me. It may also seem as narcissistic, but I need to know what helped me back then when I was in my healing process.
The words jumped out at me in one of my chapters, “I know how difficult it was for you to come here, and now I am with you. I will take all your fears away, and replace it with peace and love.”
At that time when I wrote that, I was talking about a morning where I was going to church by myself for the first time. I had agoraphobia and everything was just ‘too much’ for me to handle. Driving there was a huge scare! I remember praying, “God please take the fear away, please take the fear away!” And as I drove down the highway on my way to the Trinity Assembly Church, I kept reassuring myself that if my anxiety had worsened, I could always turn around at the next exit.
I kept driving.
A few exits later, I found myself turning onto the ramp and over to the road where the church was. I went there successfully. I walked into the church and was welcomed by the elders. They seated me in the front. Those words that I wrote up above were the words that were displayed during the praise and worship portion of the service. They put up words of the song in case you didn’t know them very well. But those particular lyrics struck a chord with me and it was confirmation that God was saying how He acknowledged how hard it was to do what I just did. I came to His house without fear. I overcame it. I trusted in God and knew that I would be safe. It was the best feeling in the world.
A steady constant flow of communication with God leads to a successful outcome in my experience. Once I stop communication with him and “life” just gets in the way, I seem to bump into a lot of challenges and frustrations. My anxiety gets worse and I feel my depression following afterwards. This is what works for me. It always has, but sometimes when I put God on the backburner, He whistles like a teapot, calling me back again. I’m trying my hardest to stay ‘in tune’ with His words and messages that He provides for me everyday.
Also, this morning I was praying about my lot in life. I prayed that my work wasn’t significant enough. It doesn’t quite pay all the bills, but it’s sufficient to where it’s “just enough”. For me, I need more. I need to have more than enough. So from God, I have received a few messages.
1.) Who knows? Perhaps even yet he will give you a reprieve, sending you a blessing instead of this terrible curse. Perhaps he will give you so much that you will be able to offer grain and wine to the Lord your God as before. ~Joel 3:14
2.) Work hard and cheerfully at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and the Master you are serving is Christ. ~Colossians 3:23-24
As I work on my second book that I’m planning to publish by the end of the year, I wonder if it’ll be enough. I sometimes doubt myself when I’m in a depressive state of mind, but I know that there’s a reason why God is using me. There’s a purpose in my life as He points out to me. And through “HIS” work, I will complete the tasks because I know this is what He wants.
Whatever you do for a living or in life, I found by including God within your daily routines, you’ll find those rewards. They may not mean winning the lottery or finding a million dollars stashed behind a dumpster, but “simple abundance” is sometimes better than being overflowed with too much of a good thing. And again, “simple abundance” was yet another message that God sent to me through the words of the television while I was praying.
Be open to His messages. He talks through many sources. The coincidences are too many in order for me to just brush them off anymore. I know He’s there talking to me, speaking to my heart. Let Him speak to yours!
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