Saturday, February 18, 2012

Control Freak

My wife told me this story about when she was a little girl, probably 3 or 4 years of age, she was at this petting zoo and she fell in love with these baby chicks. They were under heating lamps in a huge bin - probably a ton of them all chirping and hopping around. She asked her mom if she could hold one. When she was given the baby chick, she held on to it so tightly, that she suffocated the poor thing. She didn’t want to let it go. She cried and cried and never forgot that moment in her life. It’s true though in a proverbial sense: when you hold onto something so tightly, you’ll kill it, or in some cases, it’s like sand - it’ll slip right through your fingers. Even when we hold on tightly to “control” - the more we try to gain control, the less we have of it. That’s why it’s so important to just let go and let God. I remember a time in my life where I had to have every single thing in my life within my control. Ironically, everything in my life at that particular time was quite the opposite. Everything was way out of control, until I decided to just let it go. It was hard. When I finally did, things started to fall into place, where I originally wanted them to. We can’t control who loves us, who wants to be around us, how we want others to live, how we want others to treat us: we can only control our responses and actions. Nothing else.

Although I still have moments of being a control freak, I thankfully have the ability to come to God and meditate on it. Without the help of God, I’m a complete mess. I try to do everything myself, rely on how “I” can do it without the help of God. Reality is: I can’t do it myself. I admit to this. It doesn’t make me weak at all; it makes me stronger in my faith that I know God is in control. I read something my friend put on her Facebook status that said, “When God takes something from your grasp, He’s not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence: The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.” I read that about a hundred times until it finally sunk into my mind and heart. I don’t believe in “fate” or “destiny” - I believe in God’s will for us. His plan is so huge that we can’t even fathom it. It’s like fish comprehending algebra. The more faith we have in God - the more trust we put into Him, knowing that if we do let go, that He’ll guide us, protect us and will never give us anything we can’t handle.

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.”. ~Psalm 139:3

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will direct your paths.” ~Proverbs 3:5-6

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Anonymous said...

I do trust God. Sometimes though, in my human nature, it is so hard to accept what happens around us.

Anonymous said...

sorry, that was me. Forgot to sign my name.

- Myriam (yes, you know my blog)

the walking man said...

I think it is safe to say Deb, you understand the way of the spirit.

Ian Lidster said...

Thank you for this, Deb. Gave me a little shot I needed on a Monday morning. Nice wisdom.

Snowbrush said...

"Without the help of God, I’m a complete mess."

I eventually concluded that I was a bigger mess with the help of God due to the fact that I really didn't believe in God. I simply wanted to believe.

Deb said...

God also gives the gift of faith. You have to just accept it.

Snowbrush said...

"God also gives the gift of faith. You have to just accept it."

Or be desperate enough to try to fool yourself into thinking that you do.

Deb said...

You have a hard time accepting that people actually believe in God. For someone who was apart of a church, you sure seem pretty angry. You might as well stop lying to yourself and realize there are two options: believe or not to believe. Also, let people be. You as a former Catholic should know the consequences of influencing anyone out of their faith. It comes with a cost. You might want to think about that as you continuously ponder your lack of faith. What you don't say is what screams, "I BELIEVE MORE THAN YOU KNOW!" I hear things unsaid. Of course, then again I'm "illogical" as you once pointed out. I pray for you.

Snowbrush said...

"I pray for you."

Good luck with that--ha.

Deb, you don't have to take it so personally, do you? It's not about you. It's about opposing world-views. Why not just have fun with it? When I ask myself why you become so hurt and angry, I always go back to statements such as, "Without the help of God, I’m a complete mess," because such statements suggest a need for faith and a fear lest faith not be great enough, as opposed to the presence of faith. Faith can be mellow; it can take things in stride; it can laugh; it can even live I Corinthians 13. After all, you love me as you love yourself, remember, and how are we to treat those whom we love so deeply--with anger, with jibes?

Deb said...

That wasn't meant to be taken the wrong way or in an insulting way --- I pray for people when I think they're struggling, just as I struggle myself. And whenever someone of another faith says, "I'll pray for you" or even "Namaste" -- I'm honored. I thank them. Even during the holidays if someone says Happy Hanukkah to me, I say the same back. Who cares! It's a nice gesture. That's all.

I ask the same for you ----- it's about opposing world views and when you insult someone by saying that they are illogical - not the entire concept itself, then you start getting personal. You have insulted my (whatever intelligence I have left) and you have attacked me as a person by mocking me, as I've stated before with your 'alien' assumptions or "analogy". The only one who has been angry here was you in another post far removed from this one. You become vicious whenever someone says "YES! I believe in God!" And you take it, run fast as you can with it and throw it in their faces and call them stupid, illogical, idiotic, dreamers, etc.

Maybe next time, you'll think before you speak. I'm not angry as much as I am disgusted by atheists in denial - even better, a former priest or pastor (whatever it was) from a Catholic church who is spewing so much hatred to those who still believe.

So go on, dedicate your entire blog to bashing all people of faith, or maybe you just pinpointed me out. Good luck with that.

Snowbrush said...

"That wasn't meant to be taken the wrong way or in an insulting way --- I pray for people when I think they're struggling"

100% of the many atheists I have talked to about their feelings about people praying for them, expressed negativity because (a) such things are often said with venom, and (b) even if the venom isn't apparent, the possibility of passive-aggression seems considerable because the statement includes the atheist in a world view that the atheist doesn't accept. For my part, if a person who knows I'm an atheist says they're praying for me, I ever and always take it as a backdoor jab because why else, after all, would you tell an atheist that you're asking God to help him out as opposed to telling him something that wouldn't serve to highlight your differences with him or her? If prayer is your thing, you can still pray, but rather than tell an atheist you're praying for him or her, just say that you love them (if you do), or that you're thinking of them, or that you wish them all the best; things that don't alienate them.

"Who cares! It's a nice gesture. That's all."

It's not a nice gesture if it ignores the sensitivities of the person who is on the receiving end.

"when you insult someone by saying that they are illogical"

I see an insult as something that a person can't prove. For instance, if I say, "All men are mortal. Socrates is a man. Therefore Socrates likes fish," you would not be insulting me if you pointed out that my reasoning is illogical because you could demonstrably show that my reasoning was illogical. In the case of religious belief, it's founded upon faith and often flies in the face of evidence and reason, so, yes, it is illogical. Remember, "Blessed are those who haven't seen but have yet believed." In other words, there is "worldly" proof and there is what what you would consider divine authority and a personal experience of the divine. The first is not compatible with the last two, and if it were, would it not diminish your faith?