Thursday, June 30, 2011

Remember When...?

A long time ago, a friend stated that she couldn’t possibly go to this restaurant I suggested because it reminded her of her ex. It was a bar & grill that I’ve been going to for years. I said to her, “I have had around five exes that I took here, and hell if that’s gonna keep me away.” She just shook her head and said, “I can’t do that. It hurts too much.” Although I completely understand what she meant, I tried sharing how I felt about associating places, people and things. For me, it’s more about associating songs. Maybe I danced to a particular song with an ex or just attached a song reminding me of her. “Places” never did that for me. Any time I visit a place, I disassociate immediately - nothing attached, making it completely new. Some people, after a divorce or live-in situation, throw away all of their furniture (even if it’s pretty new), pictures, or objects in the home that was once shared by them. For me, yes, some of that must go, but if I really like an “object” - I make it new. Change around the furniture, rearrange your home or do something to make it your own again. For instance, and this is a big instance or too extreme of an example: would you disassociate yourself from your own child if shared by an ex? I know that’s way extreme, but it has to do with the mindset. And sadly, some people do.

The same friend also said, “I can’t drive down that road anymore.” It’s a road for the love of God! She went on, “We drove down this road all the time.” There are a million websites that tell you that the healthy thing to do is burn or throw away everything from the ex. If moving out of the area is feasible enough, do it. Get a new fresh start in life. But in my mind, the healthiest thing to do is start with your mind. You might be leaving a place that you absolutely love just to take the heartache away. Some people move across the country to only figure out that they’re thinking about their ex even more so, and perhaps a bit homesick to boot. The most stressful things in life include moving. (Oh GAWD do I know!) To pick up all your belongings after resting your head at the same home where you felt safe and comfortable is absolutely terrifying sometimes. After the move if final ---what now? Your thoughts were traveling in the move as well. They’re still there, along with your new place where you wanted to make a new start. What then? You have new surroundings, a new job, a new life...and the same thoughts.

People ask why I don’t travel much. Don’t get me wrong, I take vacations, go to the Cape or visit other places in the east coast, but I don’t do much traveling. I love where I live. It’s never boring for me. It’s always different. It changes all the time. The seasons make my surroundings different every three months, and most of all, my mind is content with the ability to ‘remain’. I often wonder how some people find it easy to pick up and move from place to place, state to state, without even thinking twice about it. It makes me wonder if they’re running away from something. They’re constantly traveling and traveling...running and running. It’s like a void that needs to be filled and never quite met. For myself, it’s about throwing away the negative thoughts and memories and holding onto the positive ones. I can always come home, sit on my deck and say to myself, “Remember when...?”

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Gay/Straight Marriage: What's the Difference?

It’s funny, because when my partner, my wife comes home from work, I make sure there’s dinner on the table for her and comfortable clothes for her to change into - clothes that I washed for her. Usually, roommates don’t do that for one another. We do things as a team. We spend time with family and friends and make sure our home is welcoming for those who visit. We sleep in the same bed. We never go to bed angry. When we wake up, I quickly shuffle into the kitchen to make her coffee and a big breakfast - not because she demands it, but because I love her. We do things for one another out of love, not out of obligation. We enjoy making each other extremely happy however we can. When either one of us are sick, we take care of each other. I’d be lost without my best friend...without my wife.

How is this different from other heterosexual married couples? Legality? Religion? Well, we’re now legally married here in New York and wow, we’re both Christians. Go figure. And if some religious zealot is going to rant off, “Well you can’t procreate, that’s why God created a man and a woman.” What about those straight couples who aren’t able to have kids? They have to adopt, go through other means, or go without. Does that mean they should divorce because there won’t be little ones running around the house? There is absolutely no logic in denying gays and lesbians the right to marry. None. Some people call homosexuals “perverts” --- well I’ve met more heterosexual perverts than I have gay ones. No logic whatsoever.

In my opinion, this type of mindset is due out of insecurities of people who are either closet homosexuals, religious people who misinterpret the bible, or those who are republicans who don’t want to lose their 'right' standing in office. What these people are trying to do is take away the rights of people who truly love one another; people who want to take care of their loved ones without feeling like an ‘outcast’ to their family members if they need to make a medical decision. Our love is no different than a heterosexual type of love, a familial type of love ---let us live in peace and just be content with your own lives. How is our union affecting your lives? How can two people who love one another, who want to marry legally affecting the way you live your life? Maybe it threatens your own sexuality? Maybe it threatens your own sense of “morality” and that heterosexual immorality is okay? Some people feel that same sex unions takes the sanctity out of marriage. I often question many straight people who marry, only ending up in bitter divorces and broken up families due to infidelity or the unwillingness for some religious straight people to control their carnal desires. It's all the same. We all have that inner struggle, our carnal desires, our own immorality as individuals, but when we love with all our hearts, how can marriage be wrong for anyone who is willing to put forth the commitment with their lifelong companion?

What's the difference?

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Gay Marriage: Thank You, Mayor Bloomberg

Kudos to you, Mayor Bloomberg as an Independent, going against the grain of the majority of Republicans in putting so much effort in marriage equality and taking a stand for human rights. Some could argue that it would be easy for me to make that statement, because I’m a lesbian, however there are many straight people, Democrats and Republicans who are for same sex marriage to be legalized. I appreciate the fact that you’re traveling to Albany this morning, pushing for people who love one another to be able to marry, like any other human being. I understand that during your first half of mayoralty, you didn’t speak much regarding gay marriage. I’m sure there are many Republicans who feel the way you do, but are unable to speak up because they’re still running with a herd of sheep. It takes courage and guts to stand up for what you believe in, for what New York believes in, and to push for New York to be the sixth and largest state to legalize same sex marriage. So thank you.

Sincerely,
Debra & Madelene Pasquella

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com

Monday, June 13, 2011

She's Just Not That Into You, She's Straight

The great debate of “is it a choice or is it genetics” has completely gone down the drain once I heard a friend of mine tell me why she “chose” to be a lesbian. I quickly interjected and said, “Nobody chooses this lifestyle”, hoping it would alleviate the stereotype that many religious people hold who feel it is a choice. However, in her case, it was a choice. With her permission, I’m able to write about this, although I will just refer to her as, “Jen” instead of using her real name. She asked me to write this, so that maybe my readers out there can give her a little advice or words of wisdom. She shared a personal story with me the other day that took me by surprise. While growing up, her stepfather sexually abused her for approximately four years. It started when she was eight years old and ended when she was around twelve. During the time she was attending middle school, her friends would always try to fix her up with boys. She wasn’t interested. In fact, she never even dated in high school. She avoided proms, avoided going out on “double dates” - ones that her friends would set up on and she also remained to herself most of the time. She never told anyone about her past and so, people just assumed she preferred being a loner.

After high school, it became tricky. She started working at an office and people would ask if she had a boyfriend or if she was married, etc. The question always came up because she’s an attractive woman and well, people can be nosey at times. Offers to be set up with one of her coworkers' sons was something she heard on almost a daily basis. With that being said, she found herself deciding at a low point in her life, that she wanted companionship. The only difference was, she wanted companionship of a friend; a woman. She attended many LGBT meetings, group gatherings and outings and had a great time. She started dating a woman who shared the same interests as she did, however, when it came down to intimacy, she had a lot of inner turmoils that manifested into anger or indifference. Her story was never told before but only to be swept under the rug. She never wanted to talk to a therapist about it. She just thought having a relationship with a woman would feel safer in life. Men scared her, in fact, she doesn’t have one male friend - only coworkers as acquaintances. By the time she found herself in a long-term relationship with a wonderful woman, who she is still dating, many issues are coming up to the surface...and quickly.

This is why I truly believe that being gay is not a choice, but to some extent, only if the person is bisexual. It’s about who they fall in love with, not the gender. But at what point do we shift back and look at our situation and say, “Wow, that’s not what I wanted at all?” Has that ever happened to you? Just a complete revelation about your life - whatever it may be - that came flooding down, washing away the facade of ‘what seemed to be’, to what actually is? She is now talking to a therapist with and without her partner. It’s sad, because her partner is devastated that their relationship may have been one that developed out of fear. Another sad thing about this is, they’ve been together for almost ten years now. They have a history together and love one another very much, but “Jen’s” love is a little different than her partner’s. She admitted she wasn’t “in love” with her partner, but loved her in means of companionship and that she would always take care of her. While that’s a lovely thought, the issue of her partner feeling as though "Jen" never was in love with her has really broken her heart. "Jen" has also indicated that she is sexually attracted to men, but doesn't think she could ever venture to that side of the fence.

I’ve written articles about my distaste for therapists who blame homosexuality on past sexual abuse. I still stand firm in my opinion that not all are like that. But when this type of thing does happen, what do you do? What kind of advice can you give to such a complex situation? After ten years of being with somebody who you 'claim' to love, and being with someone you thought was “in love” with you ---do you turn your back on it all? Do you stay just because you have a history with them? Do you try to work things out in counseling so you can begin to “fall in love” with them? Love comes in many forms. It comes through familial, through friendship and through an intimate relationship. But in this case, perhaps her partner should just see it the way it is: she’s just not into you. She’s straight. I'm wondering if they are able to regress their relationship into a platonic friendship...

Thank you for letting me post this article, "Jen". I think many people need to read this type of situation only because there are some people who are with the wrong ones, or with them for the wrong reasons.

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com

Thursday, June 09, 2011

The Race Card

While sipping my coffee before work, I was scanning down my Facebook feed seeing what my friends were up. It was then I saw a note that was shared by my friend & comedienne, Mimi Gonzalez, written by a lady named, Ife Franklin. It was a heartfelt letter written to Bay Windows and being sent to the Governor of MA and the Boston Globe. concern regarding men hitting on she and her wife in Provincetown, MA. As I continued to read it, it started to become much clearer that this woman was not just ranting about black men hitting on her, but she was ranting about the lack of care by "the white folks" who hire them and who have "the power to fire them". I'll just copy and paste her note first, and then my long comment afterwards. I apologize for such a long blog post, but I had to speak up. Feel free to leave your honest thoughts about this - even if you highly disagree with me. I understand she has a very unfortunate, traumatic past with rape and harassment, but this went a bit further from the issue at hand. Am I way off with my opinion?

"I want to start this off on the positive...I LOVE P -TOWN. My wife and I have been going there since we met about 13 years ago. We looked in the window of Ruby's for years at the ring that I so proudly wear. My Wife asked me to marry her on the marsh at the jetty. We spent our honeymoon there..why? because we wanted to be in a place where we "could just be ourselves" Gay, Lesbian, Happy. This past weekend was WOC (Women Of Color Weekend) in P-town..... and I want to be positive about this too..because this is a long time coming. It warms my heart to no end to see my Sisters enjoying themselves..laughing, taking in the sun and sea breezes..when we walk down Commercial Street we smile big, hug, and say hello. All this is grand, wonderful, and needed. What is not needed...The harassment by the Black men that come to work there from the islands. This is not my first letter to Bay Windows about this. A few years back I sent a letter about this very subject, it was published (Thank you very much) and I also received a email from the Province Town Chamber Of Commerce (Thank you again). Instructing me to get in touch with them and the police if this happens again...well it has happened again and again. Now I will take ownership..I have not called the police or contacted the town Chamber..why? Well, here is where this gets a little sticky for me...So if I call and say "there are some Black men harassing me" will they round up ALL of the Black men? Even the ones that have done nothing wrong? Has there been ANY training or introduction for these "workers" educating them that they are in a mostly Gay culture? that the women...Black women or other wise are off limits? I have taken the time to pay attention to see if these men "go after" the White Women as they have the Black/Brown Women..NOPE. And here is where this gets sticky and political..These men KNOW that if they even give a LOOK of perceived disrespect in the direction of the White Women that they will no longer be able to "come here and work" because the law would come down HARD on them..ie White folks are more valuable..have the power to get them fired so they ( the men) "dont even try it". Yet it is "open season on us".. a "free for all". I on the other hand know my worth..My money is just as green as anyone's and the shop keepers understand this..yet if "we" ( folks of color) stop going to P-town it would not make a difference to the commerce as folks that are not affected by this..ie (White folks) will continue to go and spend big bucks. As the saying goes..."Money Talks". As my friends were walking back to the car Saturday night a car of 4 men slowed down and started hissing and and asked my friend to come over to the car..she replied in a strong voice.."I'm GAY let it rest!!!!" Once we were in the car we talked about this...heatedly. Something needs to be done..... what, I do not know. I feel that this harassment is a time bomb about to explode. At some point some man is going to take it to the next phase..my fear is that the "cat calling" will turn into "groping".... "grabbing"....rape and or death..why because in their hearts we are just some "batty gurls" and all we need is some dick to "set us right". As A survivor of rape I don't want to think about this as I am walking down Commercial Street with my wife and when I am alone it is much worse I cant relax and enjoy my total self, yet this is what is on my mind more and more. I feel less safe in P-town now more than ever. So P-town do you really want us there? I really want to continue to come...but I NEED to know that you are really doing something to combat the homophobia that is being "imported" in the workers that you hire. Sincerely....Ifé Franklin, Roxbury Ma."
Click here for the actual facebook note and responses.

My comment regarding the above:

You stated. “These men KNOW that if they even give a LOOK of perceived disrespect in the direction of the White Women that they will no longer be able to "come here and work" because the law would come down HARD on them..ie White folks are more valuable..have the power to get them fired so they ( the men) "dont even try it".

I truly was sympathizing with your story and was nodding my head, until I read this paragraph. My wife and I have been going to Provincetown for sixteen years now. Within those wonderful sixteen years, we have had men of all races - white, black, Asian, etc., hit on us, especially walking down Commercial Street after the nightlife has simmered down to a low roar. In fact, (and please take this for what it’s worth), we have been hit on more by black men than we have with white men. We don’t tally them up, because we frankly don’t care what nationality they are - pigs will be pigs. People cannot control the behaviors of others after their hours of employment. It’s impossible. The characters of many gay men in Provincetown has been quite disturbing. I have seen gay men bash lesbians right on the street and I’m sure you have seen the tension between gay men and lesbians there. It’s a shame and really sad that we all can’t respect one another, but the truth is, each individual is responsible for their own actions. And you also have to keep in mind that there is no “safe place” in the world.

We normally stay at The Historical Crowne Pointe Inn. They bring in employees from Jamaica who are hard working, self-sufficient, mostly polite and courteous. If a few out of the hundreds they hire are harassing you, report them to the local police. If you’re getting “catcalls” - take it as a compliment - move on. What is “harassment” to you? If you felt threatened, did you call the police *right away*? Did you make sure that these men were off the streets to ensure that all the people in Provincetown were safe too? Or did you just get very upset because a man found you attractive and did a little wink & whistle at you? I don’t mean to be disrespectful of your feelings or disregarding anything you say, but it’s a true fact that anyone - male, female, black, white will possibly turn their head and say something if they think you’re beautiful. My wife and I were “catcalled” by another lesbian not too long ago in PTown. She literally hung half her body out of a passenger side window of a pickup truck saying the most vulgar and disgusting things, of 'what she would love to do to us'. We laughed. She was a white lesbian.

You said: “Has there been ANY training or introduction for these "workers" educating them that they are in a mostly Gay culture? that the women...Black women or other wise are off limits?”

If a man or woman makes a catcall, does this necessarily mean that they know that “their prey” are off limits? Think about New York City for a moment. Cliche as this may sound, pass by a construction site full of burly testosterone-filled men. They don’t care if a beautiful woman passing them by is married, straight, gay or celibate. They have no clue that they are off limits. Truth is: they. don’t. care. Let’s bring up the obvious factor here as well: most men love to see two women together. It’s the biggest male fantasy. They can’t help themselves. And if you’re going to blame establishments for individuals harassing you after hours because they were hired, you’re not going to get anywhere. We’ve been hit numerous times by black men in PTown - even while they were at their place of work which happened to be a very well-known restaurant. My problem with your post is that you revealed your race card. This is not the 1950s. Do we have racial issues? Of course. But have we progressed? I think so. I still think we need more work on the underlining tension. When you write, “White folks are more valuable” and “They have the power to get them fired” - you’re basically saying a black employer can’t do the same. What an example we have - we have Obama as our president. Just think, even Chris Rock joked about having a black president a few years before Obama was even known. Now, we have Obama as the most “powerful” man in the U.S.

We have progressed.

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Party In the Ghetto

(Click the photo for a larger view.)
It had to be a full moon yesterday. Everything was a bit off kilter. Some of it was entertaining, and some, well, let’s just say could have been lived without. You’re probably sick and tired of me rambling about how excited I am to move out of this complex, but I will admit that there is part of me that will totally miss it. I love people - I love different, quirky, eccentric type of people. The weirder the better in my opinion. Of course there’s a fine line, but I think we all have our little issues that make us a bit interesting to certain people. My day started off while I was in my home office yesterday morning around 10am. There’s a man across the way who likes to go out on his deck and yell out to the women below who are walking their little dogs around the complex. He’s not rude or making lewd comments - he’s just trying to make pleasant conversation. Whenever there’s a bit of action (like cops/fires/drama) in the neighborhood, he’s out there immediately on his deck either directing the cops where to go or just asking people down below on the street what’s going on. He’s seems like a very down-to-earth patriotic type of guy. He’s unlike any of his neighbors. Much of the complex has filled up with transients from the city. There’s a lot more crime and a lot more excitement brewing about. But yesterday morning, as the temps started rising, I had the pleasure of witnessing him shirtless, as he was greeting a young girl walking her dog on the road.

(Excuse the poor quality of this photo, it was taken very quickly with my BlackBerry through my kitchen window which has a screen.)

Madelene and I left the condo and went over to the house to finish painting. When we came back home, I received a facebook notification from my neighbor: “Look out your window. Six cop cars!! She’s yelling, ‘No more harassment Mike, police brutality, I’m calling the FBI!’ Who needs a movie! I see rifles and a police dog!” While it was kind of entertaining, it was also sad because the neighbors are so fed up with the nonsense that goes on around here lately. Drugs and domestic violence has become a huge part of this area. A few years back when we moved in, we never encountered “shady” types of people. Of course, domestic disputes and noise ordinance can sometimes trickle in the cops, but that’s expected anywhere. I’ve always lived upstate in the woods, hardly no neighbors or anything. So when I moved here, it was a total different world. There were actual people around. It was a nice change for a while and in some ways, it made me feel comfortable hearing people talking, laughing or just hanging outside enjoying themselves. The only thing I really complained about back then were my noisy neighbors. I would write about it and some people would easily say, “Move out if it’s that bad” - but it’s not that easy and it really wasn’t a “threat” to my safety. Just a couple of people bickering once in a while and stomping on their hardwood floors like a stampede of wild elephants. But now, I’m taking their advice...

(Again, I apologize for the poor quality of the photo. It was taken at 3am while I was half asleep.)

Before I go to bed, I open up my window that’s facing the parking lot. It’s usually quiet with the exception of the lady across the way gossiping on her telephone at 11pm. That type of “noise” never bothers me. In fact, it makes me sleep better. She’s always happy and excited to tell her stories. I love that about people. If I hear happiness, I’m content. It’s the same with children who are playing outside. If I hear children laughing, I’m content. But last night, or should I say morning, at 3am, I was woken up by the sounds of different types of laughter. This laughter made me nervous. I heard a bunch of kids, maybe in their teens out in the parking lot who seemed to be intoxicated. They had that ‘city slang’ - the thug-type of chatter. They were sitting on the lawn that was near all of our cars. I closed my windows and hoped that they would tire out and go away. But they didn’t. I knew someone in our building heard them as loudly as I did, and that’s when I saw the lights of the cops rolling in. Thankfully, no one was arrested and they simmered down. The sounds of drunk city kids in the parking lot is much different than the sounds of my neighbor talking loudly on her phone or kids playing outside. These were sounds only reminded me that if they were any more intoxicated or lingered a bit longer, there may have been a lot more trouble...and many more cop cars to boot. It had to be a full moon.

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com

Monday, June 06, 2011

Schmucks!

So far so good. Slowly but surely. I can spit out every cliche about the process of moving, getting the old place cleaned up and getting the new place renovated and freshened up. But I do have many complaints about it and I will try the best I can to put a positive spin on it... If you’re going to come to the house and give me a “free” estimate, do not change it. Your estimate should be solid. You have looked at your ‘to do’ list and now you have just given somebody a price for your hard work. Be consistent. Don’t say, “Well, it was more work than expected so I had to add an extra $300 to it.” That’s just bad business. If you’re truly a professional and you’re out there giving “free” estimates, be truthful. I’ll even pay for the “free” estimate just for you to be honest. Our floor guy ripped out part of the carpet, not all like we asked him to. So, from $300 to do everything, he said that it would be $600 ---MORE! So he left us pulling up the carpet ourselves, as well as the million tacks that went along with it. Fine. Screw us over because you see a couple of girls who probably don’t do manual labor. Schmuck.

I guess this isn’t so positive...

We’re hiring new movers. The last ones who gave us a ‘“free” estimate said it would be $300 to move all of our furniture from point A. to point B., even knowing that there were four flights of stairs to our condo. When the furniture was finally all inside the unit, the gumba looks at us and says, “Yanno, dat wuzza' heavy couch and stuff and it was very difficult to bring up dose' stairs, so we hafta' charge you $600.00.” There was really nothing we could do about it other than pay him and his helper. He knew how heavy our furniture was. He knew how enormous our bed and mattress was. They have to literally try to fold our California king pillow top in order to get into a doorway. Not only that, but they had to use a pulley from the deck to the ground to get it out of the house. We warned them of every possible scenario so that this type of thing wouldn’t happen. Schmuck!

And for the life of me, I cannot understand why the guy who renovated the upstairs portion of the house had painted every trim beige/brown when it should have been white. Not only that, but he left white paint all over my hard wood floors. So now, we have to get sanders to fix the floors as well as polish all the scuff marks. We’re also painting everything, as opposed to hiring someone to do it for a grand. We both went to Home Depot, got our “lesbian outfits” on and got the most gorgeous colors to brighten up our living room and bedroom. I have to admit, it was fun painting and even a lot more fun finishing it. Madelene laughed at me as she watched me take the roller to paint the wall, yet couldn’t reach the top because I’m too damn short. But not for nothing, it’s coming out terrific. And for the guy to quote us $1,000 to paint two rooms? Schmuck!

I am really considering changing careers and doing cheap ass painting jobs for people who need it. I can’t believe what people charge for jobs that only take approximately 2 hours to do. I will admit, they are geniuses because people fall for it all. the. time. We’re talking about renting a sander and doing the polishing all by ourselves. Screw paying another grand. We’ll get it done. I'll probably sip my wine afterwards thinking, "Wow, we did all this!" And get this, for all those whiney men who complain about “needing work” - I finally offer them a 2 hour job for a good price and they never show up or just don’t want to do it.

Schmucks!

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com

Friday, June 03, 2011

Moving...

It’s a beautiful night as I sit here on my deck typing on my laptop. I’m going to miss this place in some ways. Although I bitched and moaned about my surroundings, regarding neighbors, fires, police, etc., etc., this was a cute little nest for the time being. I finally fixed my bee problem two weeks before I have to move out. I even had the HOA do some tree trimming around the area where it banged the crap out of my a/c unit and left us with sleepless nights. We just got a new boiler too after all the times it conked out on us, leaving us to bathe the old fashioned way. But here I sit, gazing at the mountains on my little deck with a glass of wine, listening to the neighbors down below laughing and talking amongst themselves. My thoughts trickle back into our first years here. We brought together many people in this little condo. All the parties, all the dinners, all the times someone needed a place to stay - it was a little haven. I’m going to miss the woman across the street who goes out on her deck every single night at 11pm to talk and laugh loudly with whoever abides by her time schedule. For some reason, it comforts me and I fall asleep in an instant. I’m not sure if it’s the comfort of knowing people are around or if it’s just a reminder that this place isn’t all that bad.

Madelene and I felt our two bedroom condo closing in on us on the last year. We felt the tightness when someone would sleep over. We felt bad that it had to be the couch, because we made the spare room a home office. More and more Mad’s family would come by and sometimes stay. I wanted to give them a real bedroom. Where we’ll be moving will be a bit more secluded, yet with more bedrooms and a huge yard. We’re excited that we can actually have our family and friends stay if they want to, with their own bedroom and private bathroom. We’re looking forward to hearing crickets and frogs at night instead of the many sirens and domestic disputes. Any time a couple moves, there are usually arguments about ‘this-n-that’----but oddly enough, Mad and I have pulled through and having a good time doing some upgrades ourselves. I’m not the best laborer in the world, but it’s coming out halfway decent. We were lucky enough to get her nephew to help us sand and polyurethane the floors. That’s a huge help.

We were hysterically laughing to ourselves removing the carpet ourselves and taking out the tacks one by one by one by one. We’re now at the painting phase and I think this’ll be my last ‘do it yourself’ type of thing because I’m not very good at it. Lots of things are in the air like the movers letting us know which date, as well as my phone/cable/internet company correlating with the same day. I’ve already set up my home warming party, more like a 4th of July party. Hopefully everything will be in place by then. If not, who cares! Party rain or shine, mess or no mess. It’s on. Until then, please excuse me if I don't blog as often as I should.

For more of Deb's articles, go to www.debrapasquella.com