Monday, August 30, 2010

Moved On...

Those two words, “moved on” can bring a feeling of relief, or perhaps a tinge of fear & sadness, depending on who you are. To some, it’s a positive step toward emotional healing, and to others, it can be a dreadful step to something they’re just not ready for. Some stay in the stages of mourning way too long, never “moving on”, never taking that initial step toward healing. It’s healthy to take it one day at a time, but when does it come to the point of insanity, taking the place of a stagnated phase? Although I do believe that everybody and every relationship are very unique, I also believe that it’s a lot like giving up smoking or drinking: you have to want to give it up in order to successfully move on. If the desire isn’t there, the person will still entertain the lingering pangs of “addiction” in every meaning of the word. There is no doubt in my mind that when somebody isn’t fully over a past relationship, that yes, it can have everything to do with addictive personalities. How do you know if it’s just still being in love with someone, or if it’s a matter of just having an addictive personality? There are quite a few things that usually happen after a relationship has been severed: anxiety separation, feelings of rejection, obsessive thought patterns and for some, acceptance.

The words, “moved on”--what feeling does that bring you? Think of it in terms of your past love. “He/she has moved on & doing great!” Does it bring sadness or a feeling of happiness for them? Once you start feeling happiness for their emotional well-being and for their fortunate outcomes in life, then you have “moved on” successfully. The words don’t have to be a negative term, it can be a liberating step for the two involved, perhaps even enabling the two to come together as friends one day. There would be no contention between the two people - just admiration for a shared history. There would be no jealousy, anger or bitterness, because the past has “moved on”. The present time is all that's needed. For some who are reading this, it’ll be a page full of b.s. to them; a page where it just slaps them in the face saying, "Get over it!” But it’s the total opposite. It’s about healing, recovering, accepting ‘what is’, releasing bitter feelings and casting aside all obsessive thought patterns to where one day, the broken hearted can say, “I’ve moved on”, without the anger behind it.