Friday, April 14, 2006

Thank "GOD" It's Friday!

And I do thank God it’s Friday. If it weren’t for God giving up His only son on this day, my sins would have never been forgiven.

This morning while I was praying, I realized that I was caught up with a few addictions. For the longest time I didn’t consider my daily routines and other little things to be called ‘addictions’; but they are. Sometimes I go into this denial phase and ignore what’s really going on, when in fact, it’s totally taking over my life. “Oh this? It’s normal…” I say to myself. It’s small enough to be intriguing or interesting--whatever it is, until it becomes a larger problem later on.

Let me put aside my own addictions. (Not that I have a problem with alcohol, sex, over indulgence with good food and spending too much money that I don’t have.) Eh hem! ...Let me get into why I think it’s important to have God come into my life and ‘take control’ instead.

Instead of obsessing over things that make the average human happy in this world, I’ve asked God to take complete control over my desires of things that conflict with the law. “Oh but she’s such a good person.” I have even heard this phrase come out of someone who ‘should’ be upset with what I did recently. (Thank you for saying that.) But in reality, I’m not that ‘good person’. I’m a person with flaws, imperfections, obsessions and addictions that make me do things that are unhealthy not only to me—but those around me. I apologize to any of you who’ve come across my path who were hurt or upset with me, due to my addictive behavior.

“Who are you and what did you do with Deb?” You’re probably asking yourself right about now. I’d like to say that my guilty conscience is a gift from God. Guilt is always a bad thing; but sometimes it’s enough to budge you back in the right direction. I’m not even sure I know what direction I’m going in—but I’m trusting in God today. I’m giving my life up so He can take control. I’m not sure what will happen or what that means for my future (except for a reward in heaven—maybe a great set of wings and a halo made out of platinum) but I hope this will help me with a lot of unresolved problems in my life.

This doesn’t imply that I’m about to become this perfect person. No. It just means that I am asking God for help; asking Him to guide my life at this time so I don’t stumble and fall into something I can’t get out of. Lately, it’s been ‘too much of everything’, and the concept of moderation has gone out the window and tossed in the woods somewhere. I seem to overdo it with everything I do. One drink, leads into twelve. (Shush yo’mouth Alyssa…) Of course I’m still going to have a glass of wine or three, or a few beers here and there—but no more binge drinking. (Close that trap Sue!)

Another downfall are my thoughts. One slightly impure thought goes into a ton of ‘what if that actually happened’ type of scenario. And don’t think that thoughts are just ‘thoughts’. If you think them up enough, they could become a reality—which has happened in my case. Everyone around me knows that I eat like a bird—but pretty much healthy foods, but lately it’s been a helluva food choice for me. I’ve been eating absolute crap lately; which has effected my entire life as far as sluggishness and moods, as well as put on a few pounds. And this coming from only a certain type of foods---fried or processed stuff. Not good—stay away from those if you can. I always stayed away from them until recently. It does take a toll on the body and fast!

Living beyond my means. I have champagne taste on a beer budget. See? There goes my obsession on alcohol again! I usually tip way too much, spend too much on something I can get for less, or just blow money out the window on alcohol and other things before necessities. I know well enough not to tap into my savings or even ‘think’ that I have a savings—but I need to be more cautious and particular with what I spend my money on. It’s been reckless lately.

So does this mean that Deb is going to change? Well, hopefully for the better. I hope that my health goes in a better direction because of this and the people around me don’t get hurt with my words or actions.

I just think today is the perfect day to do this; the day Jesus died for us on the cross.

When the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Here there is no conflict with the law. ~Galatians 5:22-23

Patience and self-control are the two things that I’m seriously lacking. I guess the first step is admitting it. The second step is having faith that God will change me as a person.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is. ~Romans 12:2

A lot of my behavior is influence by a lot that goes on around me. Sometimes I get caught up in the henhouse full of gossip, and it’s hard to stop. I don’t even realize I’m doing it, until after someone finds out about it. Little things like that can add up to a huge amount of guilt and anxiety. Even little white lies. I think it’s safe to say that we all do it from time to time.

Believe me, I’m not sure what this all means for me right now. I will let you know ‘what changes’ as I blog about stuff daily. I guess you can see the results with the happenings of my life. God says that He will change you if you accept Him into your heart. So, I’m going to see what changes occur and I will write them down. Maybe something huge will take place—I’m not sure. Only God knows.

I promise this though… My humor and comical side will never change. That’s just something I’ve had for years. (Or think I had) I may poke fun at something—but usually it’s done in good nature. I’m not going to become this dull holy rolling, bible thumpin’ Christian who slaps you on the wrist with a ruler screaming, “Bad bad bad bad!” No. I’m still Deb, I’m still ‘me’, but with a greater power working in my heart. Remember, God is the king of comedy—He’s the one who even invented it.

So today I pray…

“God, I’m sorry for my sins. Right now, I turn from my sins and ask you to forgive me. Thank you for sending Jesus Christ to die on the cross for my sins. Jesus, I ask you to come into my life and be my Lord, Savior, and Friend. Thank you for forgiving me and giving me eternal life. In Jesus’ name I pray. …Amen.”


Mike said... long as you keep your sense of humor...I'm along for the ride.

Don't make me come out there and spank your ass...or...if necessary...I will though....just saying.

~Deb said...

Keep it clean buddy! This is a Christian blog! ;)

Time to get me a huge steak and drown myself with tons of beer! Argh!

The change hasn't taken place yet. Be patient.

Leesa said...

Reminds me of Charles de Foucauld's Prayer of Abandonment (I know, how Catholic of me):

I abandon myself into your hands;
do with me what you will.
Whatever you may do, I thank you:
I am ready for all, I accept all.

Let only your will be done in me,
and in all your creatures -
I wish no more than this, O Lord.

Into your hands I commend my soul:
I offer it to you with all the love of my heart,
for I love you, Lord, and so need to give myself,
to surrender myself into your hands without reserve,
and with boundless confidence,
for you are my Father.

~deb, have a wonderful Easter weekend.

the voice said...

"Love the Lord God with all your heart, soul and strength' and "Love your neighbor as yourself." These are the commandments Jesus gave us, and if you can apply them to the things you do each day, you'll be doing just fine. None of us can ever hope for perfection, or even anything close to it. That is the reason He had to go to the cross for us; we can't help but to mess up daily. Have an awesome Easter, Deb!

Char said...

Hey, I came across ur blog randomly and I just thought I'd say, remember that trying to break the power of sin in your life can easily lead to cold legalism...however, it is the work of the Holy Spirit in u that makes it possible to break the power of invest loads of time in your relationship with God and lean 100% on him! Have an awesome Easter!
Hugs, Charissa :D

steff81 said...

I don't think Jesus died on Friday and rose again on Sunday morning. Anyone who can count knows that isn't three full days. But I do like the sentiment of your post today! Easter is always a wonderful time to think about all the new blessings and changes to come!

Happy Easter Deb!

Grant said...

Nobody is all good. I think when people say you are a good person, it just means they think you are kind and your good traits outweigh your bad, such as your inability to be Japanese. Despite your flaws (and who, besides me, isn't flawed), I still think you're a good person. Deal with it. :p

Happy Good Friday and Bunny Day.

Joe said...

Very inspirational, Deb. No matter what changes you make, it's pretty apparent that you will remain a wonderful person. It takes a lot of courage and faith to embark upon the road you've chosen. I admire that a great deal.

Shannon said...

~Deb you impress me over and over again...that's all I can say.

Have a great/safe Easter...xoxoxo

Mike said...

You have inspired me to make some changes!!!! (I'm gonna start with underwear and see where it leads though.)


Have a great Easter sweety!!

Saur♥Kraut said...

None of us are perfect, and as you know, *I* don't claim to be. But I think you're definately on the right track!

Nunzia said...

AMEN! I was just pondering these same thoughts when i wrote my blog a few minutes ago. It's so easy to lose focus but you clearly have love for God in your heart. Hope you have a really joyful Easter! God bless!

k o w said...

Your "About Me" write up sucked me in, the blog read was wonderful stuff, and when I get home tonight I'm looking up your book.

All together... effing awesome.

Thank you

the depressed nurse said...


What a great post! I just love to read your blog because I can hear your enthusiasm and passion for life with each word. You are a wonderful girl & gifted writer and I think that the Lord works through you. I hope you and your sweetie along with the rest of your family have a blessed Easter.

P.S. I also love to read your blog cuz yer way hot! LOL :)
((Couldn't help myself, Deb. Sorry!!))

kathi said...

Amen. I'll stand in agreement with you, as always.

I love how humble you are with out getting sanctimonial.

I. Love. You.

WriteWingNut said...

Beautiful post, Deb! I hope you have a wonderful, blessed Easter weekend! :)

Crassius Maximus said...

The addiction question is very interesting. It's like, I wear underwear every day, so am I addicted to wearing underwear?
Yet another thought provoking post by Deb, which I manage to divert to "crotch talk". Nice.

JMai said...

A very happy Easter weekend to you, Deb! It's nice that some people are still around to consider the holidays as they're meant to be considered and observed, rather than just seeing them as another day off.

(I say this with full knowledge that I am one of the latter crowd. But in my defense, we're Coptic so this is not my Easter anyway. Not that it would make a difference if it were.)

Still, it's nice that YOU feel that way! Any chance for self-betterment is a good thing, no matter the source.

green said...

~deb: good post. Thoughtful as always. When you get a moment, I'd be interested in your opinion on my post from Wednesday, April 12. steff81 you might find it interesting too. Heck, why don't y'all come over and offer an opinion!!!

Have a wonderful Easter, ~deb!!

joey♥ said...

i have a problem with patience and self-control too. today's a good a day as any. happy easter :)

messiah said...

leesa: thanks for sharing the charles de foucauld. i love it.

deb: something to think about, and maybe a glimmer of hope. i keep thinking maybe i'm not happy because i try and take too much control (too much god helps those who help themselves?) - maybe it's time to let go and trust a little more. maybe it's not a maybe?

have a good easter. i'll be rootin' for you as always.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

i coulda swore i commented on I losing my mind?..

Have a wonderful Easter..

are you screening my comments?..haha:)

An Ordinary Christian said...

God knows your heart. He'll work the rest out. Just give the whole thing, no conditions. Give Him your sense of humor too. He made you. He wants to develop you into whatever He wants. He is the Potter. We are the clay. Don't cling to what you think you want to keep. What if you don't feel like having three drinks? (Pardon me, but isn't that a binge? - that is the point of losing control, isn't it? Just asking - don't shoot me.)

~Deb said...

Thanks everyone! I appreciate the feedback. I hope all of you enjoy the holiday weekend (Passover or Easter)... I'm happy to hear your thoughts with my post from Friday.

And no, three drinks "for me" is definitely NOT binging. 12 drinks? Yeah---that's binging! ;)

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

You wrote some excellent words. Thanks

Fred said...

Have a great Easter, Deb. Wonderful post above; thanks for putting it out there for us to read.

SignGurl said...

Happy Easter, Deb!

zanne said...

Hey Deb, hope you had a wonderful Easter! Thanks for sharing this. Blessings to you while God is answering your prayer. :)

Cheetarah1980 said...

Your faith is amazing and I admire it a ton. When you talk about addictions I so feel you. Sometimes our addictions aren't what others would consider vices. Some folks are addicted to work, others to another person, some folks to money. I know I'm addicted to blogging. I have to tear myself away from writing to go worship the God who gave me this gift in the first place. Thank you so much for reminding me of this. I hope you had a great Easter. I'm still in the middle of my Passover celebration. I swear it's so amazing to see the parallels between Passover and Christ's sacrifice for us all. The blood of the lamb saved the Israelites from death when they were in Egypt. And the blood of the Lamb has saved us all from eternal death while we are still in sin. Ain't that remarkable how our Lord works?!! Now if I can just make it to sundown on Wednesday without any yeast, God can claim a victory in me.

And oh yeah, steff the Jewish way of counting a day is evening and morning because in the Genesis account of creation it says, "and there was evening and morning" for each day. Jesus was actually killed on a Thursday (cause it was afternoon when he died). Friday didn't begin until the evening. And then Saturday too. He rose on Sunday, so that's three days!

fatty ~ said...

ten times over.

You remind me of what it is i am living for. Thankyou, and thankyou Lord.

Mike said...

Good morning Fraggle!!