Friday, February 10, 2012

Confirmation & Peace

Everything changes. People change. Minds change. Hearts change. There’s no stopping it. Whether good or bad, I was told the change should be embraced, whether through a friend or some cheesy quote I found on the net. “What won’t kill you will make you stronger.” While I know that hardships in life do make us more knowledgeable so we can cope with it better the next time around, I wonder if it truly makes us stronger, or does it possibly cram us back into our shell a little more? They say knowledge is power, but I’m not sure that “power” has strength. I do believe the mind is underestimated, so I have conflicting thoughts on it. For instance, if you put your mind into it, you can conquer almost anything. But, on the other hand, what if fear trickles into that “you can do it” mindset? It kind of puts a monkey wrench into the works. We all have some level of fear whether we admit to it or not, and some people can do it above and beyond the fear while it’s still present. A good friend of mine gave me a book to read called, When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron. It’s based on the Buddhism belief system. Although I’m of Christian faith, I do enjoy reading quality literature even if it’s based of another’s religious belief. It spoke about getting intimate with fear; getting to know fear. A few lines of this book says, “What we’re talking about is getting to know fear, becoming familiar with fear, looking at it right in the eye---not as a way to solve problems, but as a complete undoing of old ways of seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and thinking. The truth is that when we really begin to do this, we’re going to be continually humbled. There’s not going to be much room for the arrogance that holding on to ideals can bring. The arrogance that inevitable does arise is going to be continually shot down by our own courage to step forward a little further. The kinds of discoveries that are made through practice have nothing to do with believing in anything. They have much more to do with having the courage to die, the courage to die continually.”

When I read things like these, I always think, “Wow that must be one strong person.” I can’t imagine “getting intimate with fear” as the book states. I want to run from it as far as possible. But the more I run the more it seems to find me. I might as well settle in and get to know fear like a friend, perhaps even treat it as a teacher. As I continue to read this book, I place it down and open my iPad to read my iBible. Yes, I have an iBible. I downloaded the NLT version where it talks in plain English - no ‘thus, thou, thee’ type of language - more so language used as though I was reading a friend’s email. I have learned so much through everyone’s thoughtful book suggestions and mostly, from the bible itself. Have you ever heard of someone saying, “Yep - that’s confirmation”, as they look at their forearms for goosebumps? They say, (and I have no clue who “they” are) that when you hear the same message two or three times in a short span of time, that it’s a message specifically for you. I totally believe that. I also believe that some messages that are “confirmed” to you are also meant to be spread so it can be passed on to someone else for confirmation. Perhaps this blog post is meant for you to read. Who knows, right?

I’m going to share a couple of things with you. First, a card my mother had given me for my birthday. While opening it up, my mom started staring at me. I kept reading and she began to cry, as well as I did. I have never read such a beautiful card in my life. A card that was specifically made for me, so it seemed; a confirmation.

"How to Make a Beautiful Life"
Reflection for a Daughter on Her Birthday

Love yourself.
MAKE PEACE with who you are
and where you are
at this moment in time.

Listen to your heart.
If you can’t hear what it’s saying
in this noisy world,
MAKE TIME for yourself.
Enjoy your own company.
Let your mind wander among the stars.

Try.
Take chances.
MAKE MISTAKES.
Life can be messy
and confusing at times,
but it’s also full of surprises.
The next rock in your path
might be a stepping stone.

Be happy.
When you don’t have what you want,
want what you have.
MAKE DO.
That’s a well-kept secret of contentment.

There aren’t any shortcuts to tomorrow.
You have to MAKE YOUR OWN WAY.
To know where you’re going
is only part of it.
You need to know where you’ve been too.
And if you ever get lost, don’t worry.
The people who love you will find you.
Count on it.

Life isn’t days and years.
It’s what you do with time
and what all the goodness and grace
that’s inside you.
MAKE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE...
The kind of life you deserve.

And one of my favorite scriptures in the bible is from Ecclesiastes 11...

“You who are young, be happy while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things, God will bring you into judgment. So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body, for youth and vigor are meaningless.”

Maybe this post will be confirmation to you...

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com

5 comments:

Dani Kekoa said...

BEAUTIFUL post, Deb. I just wanted to drop you a line to say that my apology to you was sincere and genuine. I responded to your comment on my blog, but there was a glitch with it earlier and the comments were hidden for whatever reason, but they're back up now. Please go read my responses & don't cut me off so quickly.

Until then, I'll leave you with one of my favorite Bible verses in Philippians 4:

"Rejoice in the Lord always...Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things...and the God of peace will be with you."


In Christ's Love ~ Dani

the walking man said...

Hey Kiddo, sorry i haven't been keeping up with blogburbia as much lately but I do think of you. You always have so much to say, some I just nod and say OK that's cool she is a Christian and that conforms to Christs thoughts and other times I say naw that's bullshit.

Today i am going to say that is a beautiful card your mom made for you.

AND

ask a question, except for triggering a flight response what good is fear? If that spirit which created all is stronger than all, bigger than all and I am loved by that being what need is there for fear? I believe we are assured that if we are true to our being then we give the spirit room to operate and help us make the best possible outcome happen.

Thou art correct feareth of anything(eth) is an unnecessary load that inhibits us in getting to the train on time.

You may never be able to say "I fear nothing" but at least now you understand why it is best to not fear anything. And by the by all that what doesn't kill you makes you stringer stuff, that's bullshit too. What doesn't kill you hurts like hell sometimes for decades.

You Be Well and give my Best to Madelene.

mark

Deb said...

Dani,

Thank you for that. Don't get me wrong, I didn't mean to indicate that now that you've apologized for the past (re: our battles and the 'nature' of them), that you now believe being homosexual is "okay" in God's eyes. I respect you for your beliefs, which doesn't affect me resenting you for it if that makes sense. I have Christian friends who also believe a man should be with a woman - and that's okay. What gives me a bad taste in my mouth are those who try to turn the LGBT community against God, as your friend Lindsay was trying to do.

I'm at the point where I am confident with my relationship with God and don't have the energy to "defend" myself to other Christians. As you know, even the churches have their own skeletons in their closet. To me, my "skeletons" don't have anything to do with my lifestyle, it has to do with the way I treat others and how I love God.

I am sorry you are going through this. I just don't want to get sucked into a negative debate with anyone of your readers who enjoy calling gay people, "homos" or "fags" - it's harsh and cannot produce anything positive.

It's sad that religion can tear people apart. They focus so much on the lives of others that it makes it hard to even hear God. Why focus on what other people do (or don't do) when you can have quality of life with having a relationship with God and focusing on family and friends? This whole bitter enragement can only produce static, even among those who believe in the same thing.

I wish everyone peace, you, your family, Lindsay as well as your enemies. God says to love your enemies. Leave everything in God's hands. Trust Him. I know you do.

For now, I will silence myself because I truly do not know what has happened or transpired - which is none of my business, but I do appreciate you coming out to me - (apologizing). lol Not "coming out". ;)

Love to you!
I hope you understand ~

Mark,

That was the most honest response. You're absolutely right - some things can literally hurt for years. I seem to have this uncontrollable irrational fear that I have been trying to get rid of since I've been sixteen years old. They say that love drives out all fear, and that fear and love cannot reside in the same heart. But what if it's fear of losing love? Weird. It's like something you'd talk about while noshing on ~special~ brownies. heh...

Nice to see you - sorry I've been out of Bloggerville myself, lots going on with the family and I am returning in full gear... Mad says hello! :)

Kimberly Kay said...

Since Danielle Kekoa has enabled her need to approve comments, I feel she will not post my comment. I wanted to share this with you, since you are mentioned.

http://kimberlyokay.blogspot.com/2012/02/generation-x-pose-response-to-lindsay.html?showComment=1329156737815#c4933318439621330895

Xmichra said...

Deb, I really enjoyed this post for two reasons:
1 - you talk openly about being a Christian all the time, but this is the first I have read of you reading other religious litterature! I read all sorts of things, and find insights in them, and it makes me happy to see others do the same and not "close the door" to things.
2 - The idea that if you are receiving the same message in a shot time being like a confirmation, a sign, a gift... I like that and also beleive in that. You and I call it different things, but the point is the same. Recognise, listen, learn.

<3