Thursday, February 09, 2012

Blinded by Judgements

There’s always going to be people who hate you for whatever reason, critics who tear you apart, bone by bone and those who simply judge you without taking a second glance at their own life. It’s especially difficult to ignore it if it’s somebody you care about or love. It’s easy to brush aside the ones who are just in a mediocre standing in your life. Depending on your mind’s ability to flush out the toxins, it can either make you or break you. To be honest, I haven’t quite learned a perfect way of flushing these evil spirits, but at times, God gives me the understanding and discernment to realize their motives and reasonings for it all. Sometimes it’s rational and other times, it’s just erratic and uncalled for. The one common denominator: it’s out of “my” control. If you don’t like the way I do A. B. or C. - I can’t convince you that I’m doing it to the best of my ability. If you think my “X” looks bad today, I’m not going to make excuses or tell you that you’re wrong for thinking so. It is what it is. I can only control my emotions and responses to it. And that right there is the difficult part. It’s all easier said than done and practiced seldom as one would like. If someone says you’re not doing your job right, but yet you get the job done accurately and on time -- what does that say about the other person?

Sometimes I overanalyze and think that everybody at some extent feels ripped off in life. “Well he/she gets to do that” and “He/she gets to buy this and that” --- look at the big picture. If the “he/she” is buying this and that & taking more than the average vacation or five, maybe that he/she doesn’t have kids to feed, college funds to save for or a mini mansion to pay off. These are all of our choices in life. We choose what life we want most of the time. Other times, it’s just a matter of ‘luck of the draw’. Whatever it is - stop comparing apples to oranges and get rid of the bitter rage you have against those who have a different life. Each person has a cross to bear, whether it’s dealing with a hectic lifestyle that leaves you wishing for just two minutes in the bathroom by yourself or maybe struggles dealing with severe anxiety & depression. There are those who deal with the possibility of domestic abuse that’s hidden under the rug. There are tons of other factors, where if these “demons” were to rear its ugly head out from the carpet - you’d see how lucky you really are. Nobody ever fully loves their cross to bear. I grumble about mine all the time, but I do realize that there are much worse crosses to carry on my back.

Another critique about my life is that I can do more because I have more time than the average person due to my profession. Wrong. If I don’t submit my projects and work on time, I don’t get paid. Simple as that. The people who critique me are the ones who get two weeks paid vacation and x amount weeks of personal time off. I don’t get that. I have bills too. I may not be paying off a huge mansion or trying to keep afloat to put food in the mouths of children, but my job is just as important as yours, at least for me it is. Many people who work 9-5ers do not understand the lifestyle of a freelancer or those who work in sales. We get paid based on how ‘much’ we do. Some jobs wouldn’t even know if their employee was playing Words With Friends on their iPhones all day. 80% of Americans sitting at their desks right now are either updating their Facebook or Twitter account complaining about the guy in the next cubicle. I can do that too, but I also have the ability to hand in my work later. If no work gets submitted, tumbleweeds come flying through my banking account.

Mother Teresa said it so perfectly, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” The resentment of another’s lifestyle will leave you bitter - even if you claim you love them, you’ll always hate everything about them. Hate and love cannot coexist together. If you can’t understand another person’s struggle, then maybe it’s time to evaluate your own. Bob Marley wisely stated, “Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I’m not perfect and I don’t have to be - but before you start pointing fingers...make sure your hands are clean!” Dietrich Bonhoeffer said in The Cost of Discipleship, “Judging others makes us blind, whereas love is illuminating. By judging others, we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are.”

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog for some of her famous recipes!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You make so many good points I dont know which one to address. I also have a difficult time "flushing out the evil spirits", however, I do believe that if a person is wasting time hating me, they must have a lot of time hating themselves.

"Regaining freedom" is what we need to do.

-Justtoday

Geoff Granfield said...

Sometimes we get so agitated looking only through the square permacast columns of the character of people around us that we forget that it is not them that defined our perspectives but our very perception of their character. Thank you for such an insightful writing.