Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Stop. Stoppen. इसे बंद Fermarlo. Dejar Que.

Sometimes certain friendships are easily obtained, maintained and can last through the roughest and toughest times, but have you ever had to reel it in and draw back from one for whatever reason? To have a friend, you must be a friend, but what if that one friend constantly does things to disrespect you or your relationship with inappropriate sexual talk or constant digs? First time, no problem. “Please stop” should be enough for the inappropriateness to cease. When you find yourself asking the same person to stop taunting you a million and one times with sexually explicit innuendoes or any chatter alike, isn’t it time to walk away? I can be a tough cookie with my opinions and being bluntly honest to a fault, but I’m very quick to forgive and understand people. I don’t usually “fire” my friends or just make rash decisions in cutting ties. I tell it like it is and if they cannot handle that, then I’m not a good match. If a person goes above and beyond their call of rudeness, and disrespects my wife, that’s a double whammy & chances are, your plank is ready for you to walk upon.

I’ve noticed that more of my male friends would always take it a step further. They’d ‘test the waters’ so to speak, or try to see how far they can go, but when a woman does the same, I have to wonder what their true agenda is. Usually, most women know when to stop - they get the hint faster than say a man would. Sometimes you have to spell it out for some men. With women, it’s more of an understanding. It’s more of a 'I’ve been there so I’m not going to do that to you' kind of thing. So my latest perception of what has recently happened to me, has taken me by surprise. I’d like to think that most women are sensitive to sexual jokes - more on a disrespectful level - not just a dirty joke or two. I’m no prude, I love to joke around and listen to someone talk about sex - but not in a crude and vulgar way.

Another scenario is when another lesbian woman takes a liking or is attracted to one of my siblings. If you are respectful in telling me so, then I smile and usually thank them for the nice compliment they have given to one of my sisters. But if someone is going to sit there and tell me, “Yeah I wouldn’t mind hitting that” - you’re usually going to get a few choice words by yours truly. If you do the same to my wife or myself, the same applies. When it’s done too often enough where I’m always ‘ducking’ to miss the hits - then what am I to do? Just blow it off as yet another inappropriate remark? There are certain social cues that should be taken, but for whatever reason, when a verbal request to stop is not taken seriously, then my tolerance goes down to a zero. When you disrespect a friend, there are consequences. I totally understand some people’s needs to constantly try to be funny, but sometimes the joke goes a bit too far and pushes people away. After the last sexual remark that was directed towards my wife and I, it was time to delete the friendship, media-wise and reality-wise. Why can't the word "stop" just be enough?

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