Saturday, June 19, 2010

"I Want Out..."

Life is too short to be spending your time with someone who makes your life miserable or makes you feel less than super excited about life. Of course love is a feeling, but it’s also a conscious choice made to “choose” who you want to love & grow old with. To consciously pick someone who is controlling, abusive or manipulative will eventually come to a head over time. When we’re young, we tend to pick the ‘wrong ones’ or be attracted to the badass types. That fades with time, and after a while, you’re going to want someone who allows be “you”. My wife made a good point this morning while talking about this. She said that when someone stifles you or “smothers your feathers”, you can’t fly; you can’t be yourself. You’re trapped in this prison that you've created for yourself. You chose this. Also, you can choose to leave the prison whenever you want. I think many people who don’t leave a bad situation is because of all the time invested. What about all the times wasted?

Think about this day 10 years ago. Not so long ago, right? Think about even 15-20 years ago... Time flies. It’s never too late to leave a bad situation behind. People think being a certain age that it’s too late, or that they’ll never find someone else to love them. I’d rather be alone than to live with someone who didn’t respect me. Your partner/spouse should make you feel wonderful about yourself, make you laugh, smile & realize what a great life you have with them. They’re not supposed to tear you down because they’re too insecure about themselves. They’re not supposed to make you feel scared when you come home or make you feel as though you have to walk on eggshells in your very own house. That’s not love. That’s not respect. And I’m certain, loyalty goes right down the drain without those two ingredients as well.

My mother always told me to find someone who can make me laugh. Your other half should be your best friend in the world, not your guardian or keeper. You should be able to be free with your best friend - to be “you” - and to feel comfortable saying anything & everything around them. If you have the slightest fear while being in the presence of your other half, then something is wrong. Fear is NOT love. Love is NOT fear. They should love you for the person you are - not the person they are trying to create. When someone tries to mold another person to their likings, eventually that mold cracks and the person inside finally realizes: “Hey, this is not me. I want out.”