Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Things Could Be Worse...Right?

Is it true that when we dwell on the negative, we give it more power to consume us? I’ve always heard the saying, “Whatever you resist, persists,” but I’m not sure with all these clichés and platitudes that it’ll make me feel any better. Sometimes, when I’m in a funk, I dwell on it a little too much, even bringing some of my own people down with me. Misery loves company, right? Yep, and yet another cheesy cliché.

I’m finding more and more people who are depressed, jaded, heartbroken and just discouraged about life itself. I’m one of them. Sometimes I feel that nothing in my life will go right. I don’t have enough money, I’m confused about my direction in life and the big ol’ pity party---“where’s God when I need Him?” It starts to get to you. While scrolling through some websites that people have made on Myspace, I’ve noticed so many people in the same state as myself. Some worse off, yet, I can still relate on some level. There are some people who simply don’t want anybody else’s help. Their trust in people is lost. The problem with that is ‘relying on people’. If we solely rely on people, you’ll come to find out that they’ll always disappoint us in some way. I’m not speaking bad about peoples’ characters, I’m speaking in terms of---they’re only human. We all have our limits and boundaries of how we can handle certain issues. In one Myspace account, I saw a girl that said, “Fuck the world”, as her screen name. Is it really that bad?

There are countless gays and lesbians losing more hope each day. Why? Why is it so hard? Is it because people around us make it so hard? Or is it that we’re trying to gain so many acceptances, that it’s nearly impossible to achieve that goal? Will it make it any easier if everyone around us tolerated our lifestyle? Maybe in cases such as medical issues and family stuff, but I think the main idea is that we feel isolated in our own world. It gives us a feeling of despair when we notice that people are trying to limit our rights.

What about religion? I know for myself, I really got discouraged with some of my fellow Christians. They judged me, ridiculed me for being gay and even went as far to suggest that I should change my religion to something else. They wanted me to go away. I was a “sinner” and God would never accept me. Some said that God “hated” me. That left a bad taste in my mouth- so much, that I almost lost faith there for a while. I took a few steps back in my faith due to what other Christians suggested. Why was I relying on their acceptance? Why were these people, who were sinners themselves, making me feel worthless?

This scripture gave me comfort when those around me had given me the spirit of discouragement:

You were getting along so well. Who has interfered with you to hold you back from following the truth? It certainly isn’t God, for he is the one who called you to freedom. But it takes only one wrong person among you to infect all the others—a little yeast spreads quickly through the whole batch of dough!I am trusting the Lord to bring you back to believing as I do about these things. God will judge that person, whoever it is, who has been trouble and confusing you. ~Galatians 5:7-10

I have people telling me, ‘this is a sin,’ and ‘that’s a sin’, and comparing my homosexual lifestyle to rape and murder. Is loving someone of the same sex that bad? Homosexuality isn’t even listed in the Ten Commandments.

Then Jesus says this:

“The Most Important Commandment”
One of the teachers of religious law was standing there listening to the discussion. He realized that Jesus had answered well, so he asked, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Here, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, and all your soul, and all your mind, and all your strength. The second is equally important. Love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these." ~Matthew 22:34-40

The most important commandment is love. God doesn’t hate, no matter how many times some “Christian” will sit there and condemn you for being gay.

God loves us all, gay, straight and in between. There’s not one person without sin, so are all of us going to hell anyway? I think it's safe to say that we all need our own relationship with God, and not rely so much on people. The sadness that comes from the isolation we feel due to people's judgments can be overwhelming, but if we can look beyond their human nature and see the bigger picture---God's acceptance---then have hope in that.


A Blog about Nothing said...

It should really tell us something is screwed up when so many people are apparently depressed now days. It should be a real eye opener when we realize that 10,20,30,40,50... years ago there weren't nearly so many people depressed. Statistically it isn't even close even with adjustments for population changes.

I've had depression my whole life until I was saved. It was literally like someone gave me back my sight. Is that the answer for everyone? Yes. Will everyone accept that gift? I doubt it.

People in the Sun said...

I'm sorry you're feeling bad, and I hope it's temporary. Most things are. And I hope you take comfort knowing you're virtually surrounded by real love through your blog. And as for those nuts who go on TV preaching hate, nothing much you can do other than feel sorry for the hate they carry in their hearts, or even better, pray for them to let go of that hate.

just me - titration said...

I actually linked to your post on my blog because I read it right after I posted (the first time) and the picture made me laugh and the post made me realize some of the good stuff... like community. :) blog community and all the other community the real and positive kind!

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I am convinced that letting go is a necessary stage of the healing process. Of course many folks don’t reach that stage or, if they do, refuse to let go. Caroline Myss’ wonderful book, “Why People Don't Heal and How They Can,” discusses the concept much better than I can.

As I’ve pointed out before, the rejection you have received from so-called “Christians” is neither theologically valid nor from Christ.

When they attack you, remember the words of the Psalmist:

“Be not silent, O God of my praise!
For wicked and deceitful mouths are open against me,
speaking against me with lying tongues.
They beset me with words of hate,
and attack me without cause.
In return for my love they accuse me,
even as I make prayer for them.
So they reward me evil for good,
and hatred for my love.”
~Psalms 109:1-5

Pray for them, Deb, and allow God to deal with their ignorance and evil.

DaBich said...

God bless you, Deb, don't let the smallness of people's minds confuse or depress you. You're special!

Nancy said...

I can't remember if I told you this or not. One of my relatives (MIL) hid behind the Bible when she told me being gay was wrong. She earlier compared gay people to child molesters and murderers. I feel that people like these tax my own acceptance of others because I can hardly stand to be around them, and that makes me feel like one of them!

I am an outwardly very sweet person who rarely has a problem with anyone. I never thought I had it in me to ask someone to leave my home.

Hmmph. Guess I had the power all along! (SLAM)

cardiogirl said...

Oh Debra, I am so glad you are writing this in an open forum where you can find some positive feedback.

First, let me say I found you at BlogCatalog in the discussion thread. I wanted to make sure you would get my comment, so that's why I came here to read your post and then give my two cents.

I find that it is hard to know when you are feeling "regular" depression and depression that requires help. I hail from a family that provides me with a lot of "challenges and struggles." This same family frowns heavily upon "psychiatric help" since that clearly means one is certifiable insane.

Having said that, I sort of hit critical mass after my third daughter was born and that is when I went on Paxil. I had done therapy on and off before that time and felt it helpful, and yet shameful, at the same time (thanks Dad.)

I currently guard the fact that I take prescription drugs for depression as a secret that may be worth giving up my life to keep. I understand that's crazy, but this is how deeply ingrained it is in me that "only the weak seek help."

Having said that, my life changed DRASTICALLY for the better when I started taking Paxil. I was completely against taking drugs before that time. It took "an episode" for me to start the drugs.

Had I known how the quality of my life would improve I would have done this years sooner. I see this as a maintenance drug for me.

If you are questioning how serious your depression is, I would suggest seeking therapy first -- perhaps from a trusted clergy member or from a psychotherapist.

And one last thought regarding religion, it boggles my mind that followers of the Christian religion that teaches acceptance are so incredibly judgmental. And they don't even see it!

As you aptly noted there are two things Christ asked of us, if we could live our lives focusing on loving God and loving each other there would be no need to discuss this. But alas, we are humans.

Good luck and I'm sorry this was so long-winded.

I hope you find peace and harmony among your true friends.

mikster said...

I just left you a long-winded comment at BC. I wasn't smart enough to copy and paste it here. And at my age I probably can't remember it all now to throw it in here either.


Art said...

I like what Jesus said about homosexuality...

I hope things get better for you soon!

Tressa said...

hey girl! how have u been??? every1 has hard times, but you work through them.. speaking of which, i found this quote: "If you're going through hell, keep going." hahaha! much love, chin up- things will get better- stay positive!!


we all have our times of desperation when we hit the bottom hard.
There is no more energy left and there seems to be no purpose to gon on any further.
Depression is a funny thing.It hits us when we are least prepared.

Don't get bothered by what others think or say and more importantly don't get angry.That will eventually make us sad and gets is depressed.Forgive everyone by smiling at them as though they are ignorant and you are laughing at their ignorance.

Don't be bothered by others.It's a vicious circle and you don't want to get into it.

There is only one relation and it's the on with god and everything else doesn't matter.

CP said...

You know...depressed? It's the new black.

So chic, so vogue. Everyone must be depressed or you will be publically scorned.

It pisses me off. Those of us who are diagnosed don't get to be trendsetters anymore. Sad.

I love you!!!!


~Deb said...

Sorry I’ve been so bad at responding and communicating in bloggerville lately. All your comments are very inspiring and encouraging. I know, I know, the ‘new trend of depression’. Too funny. I sit, in my dark room, alone, without an ounce of hope… I make my way over to the window. I open it. I try not to look down; instead, I close my eyes and jump. I wake up and realize I was on the first floor and grab myself a martini.

Too many questions in my head lately and too much frustration I guess. I’m glad in a way people can relate, and sad in another aspect that there are way too many of us, depressed, walking around aimlessly.

I’ll be done with my pity party soon enough. I hope.

Thanks guys!

thewishfulwriter said...

amen. 100% amen.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Amy said...

Deb you have said it all right there...

tkkerouac said...

I wonder if we see more of the depressed here on the internet because writers use words to express it out. I'm sure its just as prevlant in the non internet world,
perhaps here
its safer to just say it.
Where as non writers just keep it in.
I just read a statistic, that if you have a good faith to worship,
it adds 14 years to your life.

Good if you enjoy happy years.
Like the old saying goes
Your as happy as you make your mind up to be.

Comrade Kevin said...

These are cynical, skeptical times. I believe much of it stems from the influx of information we have been exposed to in media.

With the advent of the internet, we have easy access to all kinds of things, things we can have access to in seconds that previously would have taken years to discover. Thus, we have discovered that the world is a complex place with few easy answers. We have also discovered that the depth of human suffering is wide and profound.

The challenge in today's society is to dare to be happy in spite of it all. I'm not saying that it's easy--far from it. I am however, saying that the world is what you make of it. It can be a place of suffering or a place of great joy and you can find any number of examples to support either viewpoint.

~Deb said...

Hmm, totally what I just wrote about. The state of mind of being depressed---do we "choose it"? It's in my current post right now. Ironic.

I do believe that the internet does give us a great opportunity to release our emotions and best of all-------get feedback from others that can help, or relate.

The media sometimes gives us a hopeless feeling when they expose such negativity in the world. We really can't get away from it, unless we just tune out...and become unaware of everything around us.

Hard call!

Thanks for the input!