Wednesday, February 28, 2007


It’s amazing how fearful I’ve become ever since I’ve created this blog. I thought that my words and my thoughts would trigger some sort of bond with those struggling with homosexuality and coming to God. My book was already out and I needed another outlet as far as writing went.

Then, I came across other Christians who were completely appalled by the fact that I was a lesbian writing about Christian matters. How can a lesbian be Christian? How can a Christian be a lesbian? All these questions and judgmental remarks towards me left me wondering if I really wanted to surround myself with other Christians.

But, what is the actual definition of a Christian?

-Professing belief in Jesus as Christ or following the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus.
-Relating to or derived from Jesus or Jesus' teachings.
-Manifesting the qualities or spirit of Jesus; Christ-like.
-Relating to or characteristic of Christianity or its adherents.
-Showing a loving concern for others; humane.

Professing belief – having faith is all about Christianity. Loving God with all your heart and loving your neighbor, right? Quite a few “Christians” came onto my site to tell me their beliefs and opinions opposing my homosexual lifestyle. I’ve gone over these things many times as you all know. They threw scriptures at me and relentlessly judged me and said I was going to hell. I can totally see how other gays and lesbians would turn away from God altogether due to human judgments. It’s sad, because we’re all in this together.

There is this one gentleman (who will remain anonymous) that ridicules me for being a lesbian and having faith in Christ at the same time. Now, my relationship with my partner is a monogamous one. I love her, just as a man would love his wife or vise/versa. To me, our love isn’t any different than that. We focus on God – and the first thing in the morning before starting our day, we pray to God first. He comes first. Well, this man comes onto my site and says that I’m placing my relationship before Christ. He doesn’t even know me to even make such a remark like that. What about husbands and wives who put each other first, yet go to church every Sunday and have faith in God? I mean, how can you judge a loving relationship if God is involved? You just can’t.

Well, here’s a little background on Mr. Anonymous that I’ve obtained. Mr. Anonymous is a divorcee that is seeking a new relationship with a woman on a personal website. Now, to me there’s nothing wrong with that at all. I don’t judge him, nor would I give him any derogatory remarks about him seeking another woman on a personal ad. Fine. Whatever floats your boat. Tons of people do it.

What gets me is, he repeatedly told me to ‘repent of my sin’ and give up my lifestyle. Then God won’t throw me into hell. He says that ‘homosexuality is a sin’ according to the scriptures listed in Leviticus. Well, what about him? First of all, Leviticus is in the Old Testament. Those laws no longer apply. Now, Mr. Anonymous is a divorcee seeking another woman. In Leviticus and in the New Testament, it goes on to say that if a man divorces his wife, and she is still alive – and the man decides to marry another woman – that is considered adultery. As long as his ex-wife is still alive, he’s doomed.

His argument is that he’s repented – so he can go on continuing to seek out a new relationship. Now, what about my scenario? Mr. Anonymous says that if I don’t repent, I’ll go to hell. But even if I repent (which I don’t think loving someone is a sin anyway) then I still cannot continue a relationship with the woman I love so much. But he can. So he applies the laws to fit his life. His sin is just as bad as mine. Now, again, I’ll say that loving someone is not the same as promiscuous behavior. He believes I’m committing a sin.

In Corinthians and Romans they speak of the promiscuity aspects of homosexuality. It was considered dirty.

But first, I want to display “Sometimes Saintly Nick’s” comment on a previous post of mine.

“Mr. Anonymous’ theology is as poor as his Biblical exegesis, which is in reality isogesis. Here are a few comments on Leviticus 18:22:The passage in the ancient Hebrew is clearly talking about male-male sex acts, specifically anal sex. The issue was penetrating an anus with a penis, this making the penis literally “unclean” to the point of forbidding entry into a vagina. I wonder if the same prohibition would not also apply to male/female anal sex?Using the word "homosexuality" in some English translations makes the text appear to condemn lesbian activity as well. The latter behavior is definitely not mentioned in the original Hebrew text of this passage. In fact, lesbian behavior is not mentioned anywhere in the Hebrew Scriptures.The term "homosexuality" has two distinct meanings in English. Sometimes it refers to sexual behavior (what some people do). Sometimes it relates to sexual orientation (what some people are). One reader might conclude from an English translation that homosexual orientation is criticized in the Bible; others might assume that homosexual behavior is criticized. However, the word "homosexual" was first used in the very late in 19th century C.E. There was no Hebrew word that meant "homosexual." Thus, whenever the word is seen in an English translation of the Bible, one should be wary that the translators might be inserting their own prejudices into the text."

People are so unforgiving if you really think about it. They constantly compare and judge everyone around them. Is it that they feel the need to make themselves happy by trying to make others unhappy? There are people who dedicate their blogs to the people they hate the most. They spew nasty remarks about how ‘bad’ these people behave, when they are simply loving other human beings monogamously. Yes, there are a lot of promiscuous homosexuals, but don’t forget, there are many promiscuous heterosexuals too. We’re all human. We make mistakes. We have to accept that as humans, we have the flaw of making numerous mistakes, but we have the advantage of Jesus’ forgiveness. His gift is paid in full for you. I think a lot of Christians forget that. Their precious time and effort is wasted on ‘playing judge’ and making others feel horrible about themselves.

If it weren’t for judgmental and cruel people claiming to be Christians, I bet you anything that the suicide rate in the homosexual community would lessen. How many times have you heard a homosexual kid or even an adult say, “Oh my GAWD I can’t ever tell my family I’m gay! They’d disown me!” And they speak of their family, who are supposed to love and support them. Now for those parents that are as accepting to my lifestyle as my parents are, think of it like this… If my own parents accept and love me ‘as is’, what makes other people think God isn’t capable of doing the same for me…or the same for you? Do we feel that God is inadequate of doing such a thing? Do we feel that God doesn’t have the power to love and go beyond who we love?

There’s another topic I want to touch upon. A reader emailed me recently and asked me why I bashed gay pride parades on Mark’s site. Well, here are my reasons:

Most gay pride parades have people prancing around topless or half naked with picket signs claiming they want rights. But the thing they have to realize is, (in my opinion at least) is that presentation goes a long way. If you want to get your message across, do it tactfully, instead of shedding clothing and acting promiscuously in front of the world. The people who do that, (not saying that all do) give homosexuals a bad name. They’re looked upon as perverts. I can totally understand why. And most of all, I will not partake in that kind of thing. It’s trashy to me.
The word “PRIDE” is offensive to me.

Definition of the word “pride”:

1. a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.

2. the state or feeling of being proud.

3. a becoming or dignified sense of what is due to oneself or one's position or character; self-respect; self-esteem.

4. pleasure or satisfaction taken in something done by or belonging to oneself or believed to reflect credit upon oneself: civic pride.

It’s an arrogant way to describe yourself in my opinion. To be prideful is to put things before God. To be humble is to show that you’re loving, caring and put others before yourself. A lot of what the gay pride parades stand for are sometimes shocking.

Another issue of mine is that we finally have the right to get ‘married’ or have a civil union in New Jersey. Yay! This is great news. We get the same benefits as a man and a woman. Now, the gay and lesbian community are barking because it’s not called ‘a marriage’. It’s called a ‘civil union’. Who cares! Let them digest this first. This is a huge step for us. Why are they sabotaging it already? As soon as the gays and lesbians realize that a civil union is exactly the same thing as a heterosexual marriage, then it’ll be more accepted in other states and readily available for those couples waiting in line to be united. So please, for the love of God, accept what is offered and be happy that we get the same benefits now. What’s in a name anyway? It baffles me that they want to push it to the extreme and make everything into a huge fiasco. Some people are way too pushy about things and it really makes me wonder about their motives and why they want to get married in the first place. I would be happy with just a small ceremony and close friends and family joining us. But that’s just me. I don’t care about the labels, I care about what my partner and I have as a couple and what we own, and what would go to her if I were to leave this world. I want to know that it was hers and not anyone else’s. (Not that I have much anyway!)

So as I got sidetracked with my “Christianphobia” topic, I’m also relating to the Christians who belittle the gay and lesbian community. I can see how they get frustrated with some of us when we put so much in their face. But there are homosexuals who are genuinely in love with their partner and don’t want to make a huge fuss over who accepts them. We’re normal everyday people like you and we just want the ‘hating’ and the ‘judging’ to stop. I know that’s unrealistic, but just because a few bad eggs made the rest look bad, doesn’t mean the whole batch is bad. And the same goes out to those Christians who are categorized as ‘haters’. There are the fundamentalist-extreme types that make it hard for the gay and lesbian people to accept them as well. So it works both ways.

I guess the unknown is scary to many of us. We fear things that we are unfamiliar with. We don’t want to deal with it, or we delve into it as if it were our business. Again, two extreme ends of the spectrum. Maybe if we didn’t focus so much on how other people were living their lives, we would be much happier. Or maybe we’re content on trying to ‘fix’ other people? I don’t know. Whatever the reason is for how we behave towards things that are unfamiliar to us, it has to be taken with a grain of salt. We react in different ways and we’ll never be convinced otherwise if our hearts believe so strongly about a certain issue. We can’t change anyone’s minds, but we can definitely try to mind our own business and focus on God more and focus on the matters that pertain to us.