Living Proof

“8pm at the sushi bar work for you?” “Yeah, that’s good. I’ll wait for you in the foyer—near the coat check.” I said, to my blind date as I spoke to her over the phone. She sounded a bit ‘Brooklynish’---very outspoken and had a great personality over the phone. We spoke for a couple of weeks before we even decided to meet up for dinner. She had similar family values as I did, she was Italian like me, and she knew how to laugh—which is important. The only drawback to this whole scenario (besides it being a blind date) was that she has never been with a woman. She didn’t ‘come out’; she was a rookie to this lesbian scene. Why not be her first lesbian date, right? I pull up at 8pm to the valet parking attendant. He hands me a ticket, and I walk down the stairs into the restaurant’s foyer to wait for Annette. She probably didn’t know the roads that well, since she was coming from out of town, so I gave her a little time to get there. I didn’t mind. 8:15pm… Okay, fashionably late, but stil...

“Ugh!…This is ridiculous.” I mumble to myself, as I struggle to button my jeans. It was obvious I had gained a few pounds from vacation. It was also a fact that I wasn’t exercising for at least three weeks due to my bad back. It was also a damn slap in the face to realize –ugh, enough of the beer Deb! “I have nothing to wear!” I blurt out, trying to get ready for my chiropractor appointment. “Deb, you have a closet full of clothes.” Madelene tries to point out to me. “A closet full of clothes that are way too snug on me! I can’t wear this…” I throw another pair of jeans back on the shelf. “You look beautiful, Deb.” “Shut up.” I said, laughing; knowing she was just trying to love me ‘the way I am’. Oh yeah, wait till I’m 300 lbs and having a personal tailor cater to my every needs. Whoa Nelly! I don’t want her to tell me I’m beautiful then! How shallow I am, huh? I gain ten pounds, and then I think I’m “ugly”. A friend of mine will gain ten pounds, and I say, “Wow, she looks great...

“You’re such a cocky little bastard! I can’t believe you think you can get any girl!” “It’s true, Deb. Women never say no…they just don’t.” Derrick says, as he chugs the last of his beer down. “Derrick, you’re a good looking guy, but to have a mindset where no woman would ever turn you down just sickens me you freak.” “You’re just jealous because you have a disability—you’re a lesbian.” “No sweetie…That’s my advantage. Remember, a woman knows what a woman wants.” I said, secretly getting fumed under my skin with his snide remarks. “I guess we will have to just test this out.” He suggested. “Don’t come crying to me when I have the girl you want, in my arms.” “Uhhh-huhh…” I rolled my eyes at his conceited attitude. I start putting on my jacket and grabbed my keys. Derrick always came over every Friday night to hang out for a beer or two, and then we would head off to the club nearby. We were best friends, but we had this competitive nature about our friendship. It was sometimes fun, a...

Just when you think I was all done with my horrific dating stories...Here comes yet another one. Brace yourself, because it’s ugly. Keep in mind that when I first came out of the closet at the age of nineteen, I went temporarily insane; almost “Romey-like"... It was the same ad in the newspaper; the one that the ‘toothless wonder’ responded to. Yes, I was brave, and I had faith that my princess would be greeting me with a full set of teeth, and without a rap sheet to boot. An older lady responded to my personal ad. She was forty-four years old, and I was nineteen of course. She asked if I minded the age difference. I did, but I wanted to meet more people of the same lifestyle, so I met her intending on pure friendship. She sounded nice, with a great sense of humor. I actually looked forward to meeting her. I waited in my car at the restaurant’s parking lot. We were planning to meet outside, so we can walk in together. I waited for another fifteen minutes. She was running late. The...

“Here, fill out these papers and let me have your insurance card, so that I can make a copy.” “Oh, sure…” I said, to the receptionist on the other side of the counter at my ‘new’ chiropractor’s office. “Is it Debbie? Or Debra? Or Deb? What do you like to be called?” “I like to be called in as soon as possible actually…Just call me, Deb.” I said, sarcastically. The two women behind the counter started chuckling. I walked over to my seat, sat down and began to fill in the information that was needed. As I looked around this Zen-like office, I notice that other services are provided here. Huge letters read backwards on the window, “Chiropractic Care, Reflexology, Kinesiology, Massage Therapy, Homeopathic Remedies, and Acupuncture.” I was still looking for Voodoo and psychic available if need be. “Oh my dau wt a’ says I look like a gypsy beca w z’ of this dress I’m wearing.” The one receptionist says to the other. “Well it’s just lovely, Sue. I really think it’s pretty.” “Eight d a ll a...

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” The wails of cries coming from the bathroom as my back snaps in half. Madelene comes in to rescue me. Immediately, she dials the chiropractor so I can have an emergency appointment. During those awful days of recovering, I realized how much Madelene loves me. I mean, I always knew that Madelene loved me, but this was proof of her love; to help me in every way for two straight weeks. The past couple of days, I have been able to walk around and do things. My work was never a problem, since I do everything from home, but doing everyday chores, going shopping, working out at the gym and picking up things at the store, literally became impossible. I felt worn out and physically incapable of anything. I didn’t realize how much we need our backs! (ha) This was the type of back pain that practically paralyzed you. I couldn’t even reach for the remote controls. God forbid! Today, I went out to do a few things. First things first--a manicure. I stopp...

Being nineteen years old and just coming out of the closet, I was on a ‘dating spree’. Due to the fact that my appearance is not stereotypical of what people think a lesbian should look like , I had no gay friends, nor knew anyone who was ‘gay’. I had no source of networking, and to imagine, NO INTERNET! I decided to put an ad in the newspaper. It drew in a few people who sounded a bit rough around the edges, and some that you really couldn’t quite figure out. The newspaper that I put the ad in was a bit north from me. If anyone knows New York, the more north you go, the more hillbillies with bad mullets are found. Believe me. At that time, I was working in a warehouse as a pick-packer. Shut up. I had my share of trades back then. I spoke to one girl the night before, who sounded so pleasant on the phone. She has this soft angel-like voice, and she sounded as though she had a head on her shoulders, as well as a personality. I already liked her. We planned to meet up the following eveni...