Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Has Social Media Turned Us Into Narcissists?

The truth is, nobody cares. Nobody cares about how many selfies you post up onto your social media. Nobody cares about how you went to the grocery store to find someone on a 20 items or less aisle who had 40 items in his cart. Nobody cares that you got engaged. Nobody cares about how many "likes" and "comments" you get. But they do care about how many "likes" and "comments" they get. Social media has turned people into self-absorbed narcissists. I've never seen a status message or tweet that asked, "How are all my friends doing?" And honestly? I get so tired of people calling me up without the greeting of, "Hey, how are you? Is this a good time to talk?" I get, "Ugh, guess what happened to me today," or "Did you hear about Gary's wife?" I never get, "Hey Deb, how are you?" Never. Periodically, I'll have a friend over and 99.9% of the conversation is all about their lives. If I say one thing about my life, they're scanning around the room bored to tears, until I ask, "So tell me about this person you met?" And the chatterbox will go on and on with a big ol' smile on their face. This is how people communicate now. They only listen so they can respond.

Another downfall of social media is that everyone now has ADD. They cannot read or write past 280 characters. Books have become a thing of the past, and if the book is more than 30 pages long (even digital) they're just not interested. Nobody wants to read, nobody wants to take 'in' or absorb information, they just want to vomit all over social media about their lives and their struggles. Get a therapist. That's what they're there for. I totally understand if someone wants to show photos and videos of their vacation or trip around the world. But overall, when we finally do meet in person---when we finally have a conversation face-to-face, it seems like people have lost all ability to communicate in person. It's almost an extension of social media. "Me, me, me, and more of me." No wonder children are socially awkward these days. They only communicate via text or and if they do something interactive with one another, it's usually through a video game they're both playing at separate locations. Kids don't come over to play ATARI anymore. I remember playing a 2 player ATARI game and then going out sleigh riding afterwards while mom kept hot cocoa waiting for us when we came home.

What does your camera roll look like? 
But I digress, let's get back to the real narcissists. Selfies. We've seen them, we've cringed over a few, and we've also seen the 'every post and emotion' selfies plastered onto somebody's wall. Between the duck face, the bathroom selfies, the aerial shot selfie, where a 300 lb woman could look 100 lbs, as well as the 'head tuck so you don't see my double chin shot.' Society has become obsessed with looking a certain way on social media. Even middle aged women are flaunting what they still got, hoping a little photoshop or filter will fix 'this' or 'that.'  In real life, there are no filters. There's no dubbing out the moles or blemishes. It's just beautiful you as you are, and if people want to judge that, they better take a real hard look in the mirror, because nobody's perfect. Studies have found that people who take multiple selfies, who have a camera roll full of proofs have a form of a mental disorder. You can read more about it here...



I was criticized for this pic. 
We have to start loving ourselves more----not the social media kinda love, but the love where you embrace every single aspect of yourself. Somebody once asked me why I posted a selfie of myself without makeup on. And I said, "Well, if you typically come over after 8pm on a Wednesday night, this is what I'm probably gonna look like." Be real. Be you. And of course, we all like to put our best foot forward and look nice for the camera, but it's so refreshing to see somebody post up pics or videos of themselves, in their natural habitat. (Insert monkey sounds here.) It's all good.

The truth is: beauty fades, wrinkles set in, (unless you have a good surgeon) and pounds add on depending on the person. We would all love to hold onto the edge of the fountain of youth, but maybe we should be holding onto the fact that God loves us as is and we need to be surrounded by people who also love us, 'as is.' There's no such thing as perfection. On social media, perfection is everywhere, but we can't bring those filters to the grocery store. I saw an old friend for lunch last year through Facebook. I scrolled through her photos and wondered how she managed to look so fricken young after all these years! I was so impressed. When we met, it was an entire different story. She forgot to bring the filters with her, but she still looked so amazingly beautiful anyway! Why are people doing this? If I look like crap, I just throw a pair of huge sunglasses on and that's that. If you judge me, that's on you.

                                                         But first, let me take a selfie!  


For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog at Deb's Cucina for some of her famous recipes!

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