There's no turning back now. They say grief comes in waves, but lately, it's been hitting me like a tsunami. I can't seem to catch my breath. I get it. She lived a full life -- she wasn't a 30 year old something lady, but let me ask you this: does it really matter? My mom was 79 years old, but she had all of her wits about her, she was funny and was always there for everyone. She was the least judgmental person I have ever known, unless you asked her for an opinion on a really ugly plaid blouse. (Yes, that would be me.) Nonjudgmental in terms of -- say if one of her daughters had a falling out. She would never side with either. She would always say, "Turn the other cheek and remember that's your sister." Nobody could do any wrong in her eyes. Everyone tells me that time will heal
or that it just
never heals. Some say it just gets worse, which scares the living daylights outta me. When I pray and meditate, everything seems OKAY -- everything seems like things are where they should be, even though I took a punch to the gut with losing mom. I get it -- we all die and we're bound to lose our parents one way or another if we're around to see it. I keep reaching out to people who have lost a parent or a child. After years of their loss, they seem to still be grieving, but in a different way, no more, no less. The big difference is, they can manage to smile again. I guess it's like an open wound right now. Eventually, it'll turn into a scar if I don't continually pick at it. There are some people who actually feel guilty if they move on with their lives. I've witnessed people who explained that they feel really bad if they're having too much fun in life -- as if they're somehow disrespecting their loved one.
Isn't that what they want for us?
Here's what's been happening to me lately.
I know many people are skeptic when it comes to supernatural occurrences, or that their loved ones may be able to give them signs. But after my experiences, whether you call them all "coincidences" or that my mind may be playing tricks on me -- I believe more than ever.
My very first experience with Mom trying to contact me was right before she died. Mom and I always talked about sending one another an owl if one of us should die first. We collected owls for years and she would tell me that they were good luck. So the owl is quite significant to me. The night before she passed, I was woken up to a loud owl "hoo-ing" inside my window. It was perched out on the ledge and making the most crazy hoo-ing sounds with some strange other sound that followed. I woke up instantly and something told me to look at my clock.
The clock read 4:17. That's my mom's birthday. I looked over at Madelene and said, "She's going to pass soon." Even when a dying person is unconscious, their spirit can still manifest messages to their loved ones, prepping them for the moment they leave us.
The second time she pulled through the veil was when I was crying really hard -- I was having myself a good ol' ugly cry in my bedroom. I even believe they were "screaming-type cries" -- the type where you are grieving so hard, you lose all sense of the meaning STABLE. I thought I had nearly done lost my mind. Down the hallway and into my office came a strange noise. We couldn't figure it out. It sounded like a train horn, but something was different. It was my MacBook going on and off...on and off...on and off. It wouldn't stop until I stopped crying. The thing is -- my computer was shut down. So...? Again, I looked over at the clock and this time it said 3am.
They say that at 3am, the veil to the other side is at its thinnest. So, our loved ones (as well as not so loved ones) can send you messages or signs due to the frailty of the veil. I'm not sure why 3am is the magic number, but some people believe that it's the devil's hour or the "witching hour" where the number "3" is mocked due to the trinity. I don't know what to make of this.
All our lives, my mom and me would always notice 12:21 in different areas -- whether we'd catch it on a clock or just randomly saw those numbers. Also, most of our relatives either died on the 12th or 21rst of the month. One day before Dad crossed over, Mom and I were hanging out in the driveway as she smoked a cigarette. She said to me, "You know what tomorrow is, right?" And I said, "Yep. It's the 21rst." She ducked out her cigarette and we both walked back inside to get ready to head up to hospice. The next day, he died peacefully at 12:21 on July 21, 2012.
Hmm. Coincidence?
So my third run with this supernatural occurrence was when I was having a completely grieving meltdown in my kitchen. Madelene was comforting me and I was upset over something in particular, to which I'll leave out for now. My heart started pounding and I felt out of control. All of the sudden, the lights flickered on, off, on off, on off -- then it went into a twilight in between mode, like half on....then *poof* -- the power went off. When it came back on, the clock blinked, 12:21.
The strangest occurrence was when I was just reading some articles in the living room because I couldn't go to sleep. It was silent and everything was very peaceful. It wasn't too long before I heard an audible voice -- my mother's voice!
"Deb--
bie!!!" It was like a singsong kind of sound. The first "Deb" went up -- and the second syllable of my name went down. It was as if she was so excited to push through the veil! And oddly enough, it was at 3am once again. She sounded so happy and even more so excited that she got through. I heard her tone -- her excitement -- her happiness. Although I knew it sounded happy, I got up pretending I didn't hear it and walked into my bedroom to pull the covers up over my head. I was a little freaked out over that one. The next day, I did a public broadcast about supernatural occurrences once a loved one passes over, and got a lot of interesting feedback. Many believe it was her, some told me to be careful because it was at 3am, the mockery of the trinity, while others saw it a blessing from God. I am careful with trying not to tamper around with initiating contact from the other side. The devil can mimic anyone's voice to make you rely on it, instead of praying to God. So you have to be especially careful when you're grieving that you are not 'talking to the dead' -- but relying on God to send any messages you need to send. This can borderline on necromancy -- not to be confused with necrophelia! Necromancy is more or less relying on the dead to talk to you and give you tidbits for the future. Just be careful if you do practice this sort of thing, especially if you're a believer.
The next thing my mom does it a bit nerve-racking, but it is what it is. Whenever I'm at my most extreme of emotions, like either crying my eyes out or even happy about something, my phone will ring one time. It's a phone number that cannot be dialed back. It's out of order. This can easily be debunked as those annoying telemarketers, but the caller ID lists the call as, "Ma." This has happened every time I'm crying, or each time I'm writing in my personal grievance journal. She does it at certain times when I am in deep thought about her. In fact, I should be getting a call any minute now.
Many people have experienced signs and communication of some sort from the other side. Some find it comforting, while others find it disturbing, and then of course, you have your skeptics out there who feel it's merely just a coincidence. I keep seeing the same humming bird hovering around one of my big windows in the living room. There are no bright colors around that area nor is there any sort of flowers that would draw them in. I have never seen so many beautiful butterflies and cardinals too. Dragonflies have been swarming the joint -- so I don't know what you believe. One afternoon while sitting out on my deck, I saw at least 10 doves fly off from the roof into the sky. It was so beautiful. But...?
This morning I got a text message from my sister at around 6:30am saying, "This is insane....the last few days I have woke up at 4:17. I'm freaked! What does that mean???!!!"
All I said was, "Mom. Believe it. It's her. If I told you half the things that went on, you'd probably wouldn't believe me."
Mom's birthday was 4/17. We keep seeing her birthday on the clock. Is it our brain playing tricks on us, or perhaps it's real?
This is why I'm writing this article right now actually.
Do you have stories where your loved one came through to you? My dad usually would come to me in a dream. I would actually wake up within the dream to ask him, "Is this really you?" And he'd laugh and say, "Of course it is! Gimme a hug quick before my time is up!" There was always a 15 second time limit on our "dream contact."
Let me know what's been happening with your experiences. Maybe they're real. Maybe they're just our own brains searching for signs. But whatever it is -- isn't it kinda comforting in a way? (Unless you're starting to hear them yell your name out!) But that's a whole other can-o-beans!
For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog for some of her famous recipes!
