Wednesday, October 19, 2016
But what if it didn't make any difference on how the world around us changes? Here's a little story I like to use by John Suler. It's a zen story to make people realize that God is in control, if we give up the reigns.
There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically. "Maybe," the farmer replied. The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed. "Maybe," replied the old man. The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "Maybe," answered the farmer. The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. "Maybe," said the farmer.
And if life is "so short", whey do we choose to stay with people who don't uplift or give us the love we truly need and crave? Why do some people choose to stay with abusive spouses, or live a life full of unhappiness? Why can't we all change to the situations and circumstances that we "want"? Or is it more of what we "need" to get by in this world? And there are many reasons for the "need" part, beyond just companionship unfortunately, whether emotional, physical, financial, or other. We have reasons why we have either stayed with someone that wasn't good for us, or we are still in relationships with people who aren't nurturing our souls.
And that's so important.
If you're with someone who is nurturing, loving, compassionate and understanding -- to me, you are wealthy. If you can say that your spouse is your best friend in the whole world, you have it all. I think all of us throw the term "happiness" around like an old dirty volleyball. It's much more than that.
"Yeah, sure, why do you ask?"
I actually felt the sting of modern times recently, when I realized both my wife and I were in bed, both glued to our smartphones with the TV blaring in the background. Two hours had passed without a single word exchanged. We could have talked about our day or anything at all, but we found ourselves caught up in our own interests. She was tuned into her political websites and I was sifting around my Twitter feed, hoping to find some insight, somewhere. I thought to myself, "Wow, I never thought I'd see the day." And I'm not pointing fingers at her, because I kept scrolling through my phone myself, between Twitter and texting some friends. It was like a zombified moment of insanity. This wasn't limited to just one incident either. And I know many other couples who do the same.
You know what I'd rather be doing if we both can't sleep? Sipping hot chocolate with her by a fire before we go to bed, talking about everything and anything. I wanna sit outside and watch the stars out on our deck, even if we don't say anything at all. I want cuddle while watching a funny movie before we go to sleep. Sometimes we're up for hours. Why waste it on our phones? It's truly unrealistic in today's world.
So it is my decision to accept everything that crosses my path, and "maybe" it'll be good, and "maybe" it'll be bad. But overall, this is what life is: a random plethora of events that lead you one way or the other. You can't predict which way is better when you're presented with a fork in the road. There is no right or wrong, there's just fate. Many ask, "What could I have done differently?" Nothing. Nothing at all. Accept what is, and do your best at this present moment, which is all we ever have. Forgive your past, stop overthinking the future and make friends with the present moment. It's funny, because sometimes we totally know what we want, but God knows that those hopeful plans of ours aren't in our best interest sometimes. Some things shouldn't be, even if it feels amazing.
For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog for some of her famous recipes!
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