10 Signs That You Have a Toxic Person In Your Life

Don't you find this world to be a little more abrasive, maybe even more aggressive? Some people have become so self-absorbed in their own little circle of 'self' that they fail to see the bigger picture. It's the pandemic of the 'me, me, me' syndrome. People have become lovers of self and haters of humanity. Too deep? Probably. I guess it's not that bad if you don't surround yourself with negative Nellies, however when you do, it makes you think---who else is like this? "My problems trump your problems" type of mindsets are so incredibly toxic---to even minimize someone else's pain is admitting that their suffering doesn't matter at all. In other words: that "friend" isn't a friend at all.

Even biblically, it says you can detect a 'bad egg' by their character and what kind of fruit they produce (or don't produce.) 

Remember, these are all parables and symbolic examples.

"Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep, but are really wolves that will tear you apart. You can detect them by the way they act, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit. You don't pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles. A healthy tree produces good fruit, and an unhealthy tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can't produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can't produce good fruit. So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. Yes, thee way to identify a tree or a person is by the kind of fruit that is produced."----Matthew 7:15-20

It gets so complicated when you're faced with people who don't have your best interest at heart. Not that everyone has to make you happy---you can always keep folks at an arm's length---but we 'should' become vulnerable for closer and (hopefully) healthier relationships and friendships. It's sad when that person produces "bad fruit," especially after a long time of thinking that their fruit was okay. 

When people hide their true character or even an agenda from you, remember that the truth comes out regardless.

"For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to the light and made known to all." ---Luke 8:17 

Discernment is a great tool to have, especially when it comes to toxic people disguising themselves as otherwise.

10 Signs That You Have a Toxic Person In Your Life

  1. They try to control who you are friends with, and even, who you vote for politically. For example, questioning your friendships with other people or trying to prevent you to be friends with anyone they dislike. 
  2. They don't care about your feelings, or ever mutter the phrase, "how are you," in a conversation, because it's all about them.
  3. They are never happy for you when you have great news. Any good thing that happens in your life will never be acknowledged---ever. Keep the friends who cheer you on.
  4. Passive-aggressive manipulation. You can't put your finger on it, but you always feel like something is definitely wrong.
  5. They never apologize---ever.  They always need to be right.
  6. People who are easily triggered. Most are threatened because they have weak belief systems, or they are unsure of what their faith resides in and also, they lack faith in themselves, (insecure.) 
  7. Complaining all the time. When you complain, you remain. It never gets better. It's one thing to vent out your issues, which is healthy in moderate doses, but it's another whole can-o-beans to be their personal therapist. I've watched someone talk **2** hours (not even exaggerating) about who they hate, why they hate, and list a ton of medical issues, without asking once, "Hey, how are you?" 
  8. They blame everyone except themselves for any issue that comes up. It's never their fault. They have zero accountability for the damage they leave behind.
  9. Talking poorly behind people's backs and then being nice to them to their faces. I've listened to people talk so badly about one particular person, and then witness them chitchatting in their comments about how wonderful they are on social media. Steer clear. 
  10. They don't offer solutions or compromises---it's their way or the highway. 
If you're always feeling like you're walking on eggshells, it's time to move forward and wish them well. When someone tries to control another person, please trust your intuitions. The signs are clear. Set boundaries, or just wish them well and move on. Sometimes, you even have to look at their past track record. Has other people left their lives---and why? Especially if the person has a reputation of this, it's best to give the benefit of the doubt, but once you see it for yourself, dust yourself off and pray for them. Miserable people need prayers. Misery can be from a state of anxiety, depression or other mental health issues. It can be from past trauma that they haven't worked on---or it can just be about control and nothing more. 

With that being said, nobody's perfect, but once someone shows you their true colors, never try to repaint them. 

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog at DebsCucina.com for some of her famous recipes.