Do you think a person can change? For instance, do you think a person with abusive behavior can change, or maybe someone who is unfaithful and cheats on their spouse can change their ways? What about someone who constantly lies? I honestly believe that people can change, but it takes time, and in most cases, it's impossible for a leopard to change its spots. Sometimes, it's just in their nature---imbedded and rooted---no chance for change. At what point do you accept that person as who they are, and meet them where they're at, or just simply, (or not so simply) walk away for good? I thought about this a lot these past couple of years. I'm a big believer in forgiveness. In the Bible, when Peter asked Jesus, "How often should I forgive my brother? As many as seven times?" Then Jesus told him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven." This basically means, you are to
always forgive, as God always forgives you. But shouldn't there be certain types of offenses that we need to say, "Okay, that's it---I'm done?" Jesus never does that to us, no matter what sin it is. As long as we repent and have deep sorrow for what we have done, we are forgiven.
So then, my question would be: is the person who hurt us truly sorry?
Words can be meaningless to the person hurting us. They think a little "song and dance" of how sorry they are will bring them back into our lives, but in their heart, they have no intention of changing. And while some are genuinely sorry for what they did, their true nature just cannot change. They go back like a rubber band, snapping right back to their previous nature. So then, how do we know when someone is truly sorry? I guess that's up for interpretation. There's no black and white answer on this.
I would love to ask this question to those who read my blog.
How do you forgive, and how often do you forgive?
Also, if you decide to not forgive, what would be the ultimate offense?
Repeat behavior?
Lack of trust?
Do you forgive seventy times seven?
For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog at DebsCucina.com for some of her famous recipes!
