Living Proof

It's hard to have faith in mediums and psychics when they're begging you to pay them for a message a loved one has for you. If you're a believer in the Christian faith, you know that the only way your loved one can communicate with you is through God only. Everything else is coming through are what's called "familiar spirits," especially coming from someone who is into new age religions---those who do not believe that Jesus is their Savior. I had a moment where I audibly heard by mother's voice call out to me three weeks after her death. It was 3am and I was reading an article on the sofa because I couldn't sleep. I heard with a loud enthusiastic voice of my mother, "Debbie!" I put my phone down, went into my bed and put the covers over my head like a scared little girl. I didn't know what to make of it and it didn't feel right. It wasn't my mom. I still, till this day do not believe it was my mom, but the mockery of the devil...

The other day, I was feeling a bit down. I was having a "Debbie Pity Fest," and grabbed my bag of potato chips into the living room and started watching a depressing movie called, A Sea of Trees on Netflix. It's basically about this large woodsy area in Japan where people go so they can commit suicide. I should've picked a comedy, but this was a little too intriguing for me. Right in the middle of my movie, a good friend of mine calls me up and said, "No. This isn't good for you. Let's get in trouble somewhere. I'm picking you up." I had my hair up in one of my goofy buns that make me look like Micky Mouse, wearing my comfy sweatpants with my big fleece blanket covering me. My dog was comfortably nestled in between my legs. There was no way I was going out. It was right after the horrible winter storm we had---everything was slushy and muddy and also rainy.  I'm staying put. But my friend was funny, she was so insistent, so I took a shower...

Life isn't the same. Not for me anyway. It took on a different twist to where I almost nearly had given up most things I enjoyed. I started fasting with certain things: food, alcohol, people. I would isolate myself and only drink water, bone broth and light meals in order to become closer to God. I obtained from any intimacy, hoping to find a deeper level in my spirituality. I pushed away my earthly desires and went straight for the one thing we all try to strive for: GOD. It wasn't easy. It took a lot of plea-bargaining and denial. It took a ton of strength and ability, with a dab of self-doubt which kept rearing its ugly head. But the more I prayed for inner strength, the more courageous I became in conquering my fears---the fear of failing---the fear of being a prisoner in my own rusty chains. I wanted to know that I wasn't a slave to my earthly desires, but merely just a spiritual being in my own weakened humanness passing through this earthly experience. I was hoping...

Sometimes a break is in order, especially when you're feeling confused about a certain situation in your life, whether it's a relationship issue, a developed habit, spirituality and religious teachings and/or beliefs or just time to reevaluate yourself internally.  During this time, I began to understand what God needed me to do in order to answer my prayers. Sometimes, prayers cannot be answered because we have to do something on our part to make that happen. We can't just expect miraculous things to happen if we don't make the effort to improve things on our part. For instance, for the longest time---I'm talking over ten years, I suffered with insomnia, where I couldn't go to sleep until 4am. It was the hardest thing to deal with because I was living in a different time schedule than everyone else around me. I love my mornings and having coffee watching the sunrise. I love working early, because that's when I'm at my sharpest. But it wasn't happe...

Sometimes I feel like the word "forgiveness" is overused, or perhaps misplaced at times. For instance, forgiveness not only means pardoning an offense, but it also means to pardon certain behaviors or personality types. To be completely honest, I find myself having a hard time connecting with certain people---which doesn't mean it's all their fault. I place blame on my view of them, their behavior or maybe a clash in opinions and beliefs. It all depends. In the past, I have had a couple of friends who were just bluntly honest to a flaw. I remember this one time, we were all having dinner at a local restaurant and bar. We were talking about our passions in life, mine being art, writing and music, and the other people were very passionate about exercising and going to the gym. They were in super tiptop shape! I admired their dedication to their health. For me, I've never really cared if I was 'thick' or overweight. I mean, granted I'd like to lose wei...

Talking about mental health itself has a certain stigma about it. In fact, I'm not sure if it's gotten better or worse. There's a "crazy" notion attached whenever certain people hear, "anxiety disorder," "depression," "bipolar," or even "mental illness." Let's face it, if you claim to be "normal"---you're no doubt probably the opposite...and guess what? That's OK! We all have our 'thang' so to speak. We all  have struggles in life. We've all most likely lost a loved one through a death or breakup, or we've had our hearts broken or we just suffer from anxiety and depression from a chemical imbalance. There is nothing to be ashamed of. The only thing to be ashamed of is if you're the type of person who belittles other people who are suffering. There's a special kinda hell for people like that. Most of the time, those who mock others with mental illness are showing a sure sign of ...

So many of us have been judged, or have even judged others. We've been taught that "judging" someone is a bad thing to do, but realistically, it's our innate nature to automatically form an opinion---to judge, whether it's good or bad. If I hear someone talking badly about someone or wishing ill will on another person, I automatically "judge" them to be someone who hates themselves. People who hate themselves usually ramble on about other people, or wish bad things to happen to them. That's just psychology 101---not to mention that's also some bad juju. Even gossip itself is a form of judgment. In Judaism, there's a saying that gossip kills three: the speaker, the listener and the one being spoken of. Anyone who gossips about someone else to you, will most likely be gossiping about you as well. I'm not perfect and from time to time, I like hearing about how a friend is doing or what's going on in their lives through someone else, bu...