Living Proof

It should be okay, I mean -- why wouldn't it be? Nobody cares if you're gay, straight, transexual or bisexual, right? It's strange to have this preconception that most of the world is accepting, until a celebrity outs their true opinion over their distaste in the homosexual lifestyle. That's when you see the world coming out with their own opinions and religious beliefs, condemning the LGBT people to hell. This is exactly why I'm not a "show & tell" type of person. I'm not in the closet, but if you ask if I'm married, I will say "yes" --- and that's it. I don't know your beliefs or opinions on whether or not you think being gay is a sin or it's just "gross" or whatever you may think. And why should anyone care what anyone thinks? For me, it's about safety. Safety from a possible hate crime, safety from maybe some perverted idiot or safety from just people who'll attack me with mere words and of ...

Where do we learn tolerance for people who may be different than us? You can even post the question a little differently: where do we learn prejudices from? While society may be a factor, it also stems from what a child learns from home, or even what the child is hidden from. Kids are smart and eventually, they come to terms with Santa Claus being a fraud, the Tooth Fairy's a character played by mom and of course, the Easter bunny is just a fib. But those are 'good' lies; to enhance the child's wonderment. I do believe that. But what do you say to a child who sees two men holding hands or two women in a loving embrace like mommy and daddy do?  That's a hard call, but eventually they find out by their friends in school, which is just as scary as amateur sex ed. As society progresses into a new world of tolerance and equality for all (thank God), the old world of prejudices still lurks out there, waiting to offend anyone who dares fit the mold of the ~unknown~. At m...

It was much different thirty years ago than it is today when things were more on the ‘hush hush’ if anyone happened to be gay or lesbian. Some called it “a phase” or if it was a female, some would mutter, “Well, she surely can’t get a man, so she decided to be a lesbian.” And that was that. No other explanation was given. It was a “mess up” - a glitch in their life. Of course, you had and still have those who insist that being gay or lesbian has everything to do with being sexually abused as a child. Pure bullshit for a true analysis. As a child, I remember my mom telling her friends the story of her married female friend who lived in the same building she did back in Brooklyn years ago. She left her husband for “the dyke” downstairs who used to come and do her plumbing. (Pun very much intended.) The real kicker is the last words of her story: “She kept going upstairs to fix things, and then befriended her. She must have influenced her somehow.” As though the thought of being a les...

A question that I had been asked years ago by a close friend’s mother still resonates with me: “How are you going to answer to God about being gay?” The most disturbing part about it was, the loud condescending laughter before she asked me the question. It was almost like she was mocking me; laughing at my “disobedience” and unruly behavior, since I was another Christian. I wanted to ask her, “How are you going to answer to God about knocking Him off His throne and becoming the judge of all judges?” Instead, I just kept quiet and let her giggle and repeatedly ramble off, “A lesbian? A lesbian? Are you kidding me? A lesbian?” Yes, this evil little nineteen year old lesbian girl has been hanging around with your daughter for nearly ten years right under your very own nose, bahahahaa! What goes through people’s minds --people who are so “spiritual” and “religious” that they need to sit there and judge as if they were God Himself? I never brought up her drinking problem, although it ...

It’s absolutely amazing how Facebook has brought old friends or even just old acquaintances back into communication again. Those who knew me well when I was a child also knew my family while growing up.  After yesterday’s post, a close old friend had written me an email asking me how my father reacted when he found out I that I was a lesbian. My father is your typical ‘old school’ Brooklynite, who smokes four packs of Camel’s non-filtered cigarettes and could put away three pots of coffee in one sitting.  I remember hearing ‘cling-cling-cling-cling-cling-cling-cling-cling’, from his spoon swirling around in his cup a million and one times. He would stir the coffee so much that I felt like screaming, “It’s mixed already, dammit!” As you approached him, there was a thick layer of gray smoke surrounding him. Even if he wasn’t smoking, the remains of the cigarette clouds would linger for hours. The ‘stop, drop and roll’ technique never worked so well. We had to talk to him with ga...

As a child growing up into the beginning of my teen years, I found myself being attracted to my girlfriends more than I should have been. It wasn’t normal. I kept it a secret for a long time, not saying a word to anyone. If one of my crushes started dating a boy, my heart broke. It was absolute torture having crushes that could never be revealed. I stood on the sidelines waiting for those short-term teenaged relationships to end. It always did. I bided my time, and when my friend needed someone to cry to, I was always more than willing to pick up the pieces. I wanted to be the one they dated. I didn’t only want to be “the friend” that they turned to; I wanted to be their girlfriend …their partner. My mother says she always knew, but I don’t think she had a clue back then. There was one particular day after school when she caught me “playing house” with a girlfriend of mine. She walked in on the “husband and wife” kissing. I always played the husband and my friend always played the wife...