Living Proof

They did a census that discovered that 80% of people admitted to self-medicating themselves with alcohol due to stress, and the other 20% lied. About 5 years ago, I did a 90 day "clean out" and went to AA for support. My moderated drinking had turned out to be moderation at first, but I was quite the weekend warrior and I needed it to stop. So, I shuffled into some church basement and sat amongst longtime veterans who have been sober for 20+ years, and some who only were sober for the past 12 hours or so. I remember one lady who befriended me. She was only there for a month or so. She would drink a couple of glasses of wine while she cooked dinner for her family and during dinner, she'd have 1 or 2. I'm sitting there thinking, "Okay, who forced you to come here?" To me, that just seems like nothing. Then I thought, there's approximately 3-4 glasses of wine in a bottle, so…maybe it is something? Maybe she just needs a bigger glass? She was raising 4 kid...

Ever go to bed feeling completely exhausted expecting to fall into a deep slumber, but instead, you watch the clock hour after hour? 11pm…1am…3am…5am… Your eyes won't shut, your mind refuses to quiet down and you're flip-flopping like a fish outa' water. I sometimes just go on my phone and see who's up on Facebook. I write, "Insomnia again," to see if anyone is out there. I get a whole bunch of suggestions like, "Take melatonin," "Take NyQuil," "Take Benadryl & wash it down with some wine."  I search Google only to find the same 'holistic' advice like deep breathing and meditation, but sometimes I'm just too fired up to even calm down. I did take the suggestion of making chamomile tea before bedtime. It seemed to work for a while until it 'found me out' and said, "Ah ha!" Well, a couple of weeks ago I found something else that seems to work…if you could even do this. I was on Twitter, and there...

It’s there. Lurking behind the door, sneering at me through the cracks of the walls, echoing down the long corridors, calling my name, whispering the threat of something all too familiar. PMS: Bloating, ranting, crying, laughing, Lifetime watching, soup inhaling, salt absorbing, water retaining, tissue throwing, five pound weight gaining, fighting, whining, horny & always complaining, ten million more zits and clumsy like a bull in a china shop—I feel like a complete mess! Rocking back and forth like a mental patient in a psyche ward, I’m craving red meat and wine. I want the rest of the chocolates in the pantry. I want something salty- something marinated. My cravings are worst than a pregnant woman. My sexual drive is worst than a pregnant woman! Anything will suffice. Last night I made the oddest combo of food. I sautéed garlic, onions, mushrooms, fresh parsley and basil into olive oil with a splash of white wine and lemon. In the other pan, I fried up chicken liver in olive oi...