Living Proof

One of the best perks about blogging in my opinion is coming across interesting people and making new friends. Of course writing is a huge part of it, but along with the writing comes the reading. I love reading other people’s blogs. In fact, I’d rather read someone else's blog, rather than a famous author’s book. It’s more “raw” and it shows you a little peek of someone else’s life whom you’ve never met before. You start to get to know them, as you would a character in a book. I love that. In the five years that I’ve been blogging, I have met wonderful people through their writings, and I have also met quite a few in person as well. I don’t believe I have ever met a blogger friend I didn’t like or get a long with. I’d like to think that I’m a pretty good judge of character. I don’t think I have ever come across a blogger I have met in real life that I didn’t like. If I like the writing or your creative flow on your blog --I’m sure I’m going to like the person behind it too. ...

Anytime I wake up and see the streets and buildings packed up with snow, my mind automatically fills with excitement. It’s certainly not because I want to run out there to clean off my car and then move it so the plows can do their thing, --it’s because it triggers some wonderful memories of when I was growing up. Snow meant the possibility of having a day off from school. My sisters and I would go outside and make snowmen, or we’d just watch my dad push a shitload of snow onto a mound with his backhoe and make a 20 ft tall snowman himself. He even packed it with the plow to make it somewhat 'round'. We’d climb up the giant snowman with carrots and little stones to finish up the face. That snowman must have stayed well into the middle of July - he was so big! We would come running inside, tracking snow everywhere until mom stopped us at the end of the hallway to take off our boots and jackets. I always had to wear this hideous snowsuit that made it impossible to move my arms,...

The other night, I decided to head over to the bookstore and park myself in their cafe, grab some coffee and maybe pop a chapter or two out for my second book that I’m working on. I wasn’t getting much inspiration at home and needed a different atmosphere. Madelene was with me, off searching for books then periodically coming back to my table to discover disappointing finds. She must have gone back and forth about ten times before parking herself for good, ending up purchasing a magazine as well as a calendar. We work well together when we go to a bookstore/cafe, because she realizes I’m not there to browse around - I’m there to possibly pick up books for research, people watch, drink my cafe mocha, and possibly gain inspiration in a different setting. Sometimes other people in there are way too annoying in order to muster up any type of content. There was one guy speaking so loudly into his Bluetooth over at the counter while waiting for his order, that I nearly threw my coffee at hi...

A true friend will stick by you no matter what. They don’t use the past against you and they don’t use vicious words to attack you. Although they may argue with you from time to time, to insult a friend is to surely lose a friend. I’ve found in my past with a few select people, that there are some who are very envious over what other people have, or what they think they have. Envious friends are never “real friends”. They strive upon what you have ---even if it’s not much. Today a friend got angry with me and felt cornered enough to say, “Well, you’re not a real writer.” So I asked her, “What is a ‘real’ writer?” She explained how a real writer wouldn’t self-publish a book. I guess she meant an “accomplished” writer to where they are well off. Of course I am not accomplished. ..yet. I can hope to be accomplished one day and my writing may not be perfect, but I’d like to think that I’m a “real writer”. She accused me of ‘making myself out to be successful’. Well, what do...

In some cases, I feel like I tend to psychoanalyze people more than a shrink. Sometimes, I have to stop myself and bite my tongue over what someone had just said. I used to say pretty much anything that was on my mind, even if it was very offensive. These days, I’m finding I just sit back and watch the madness flow like a bad comedy show. I’ve come to the conclusion that whenever someone says something in bad taste: it’s not my problem, it’s theirs. Whether they have ulterior motives or not, I let it ride out like a runaway train. Have you ever had a friend or relative say something so “neutral” sounding, but was a hidden insult instead? Or, have you thought to yourself, “Hrmm, maybe I took that the wrong way”, and got confused over whether or not it was an insult or just a remark said in bad taste? In cases where people say things in means of “constructive criticism”---that I don’t mind, in fact I love it. I remember in one case (which is funny), if my mother didn’t like what I...

Some people get tired when their significant other says, “I love you” one too many times. For me, it sounds like the first time you have ever said it. Then you ask, “Do you feel it?” I do...I do. Not only do you say it --you show it. Love may be a feeling, but it is also an action. “To love someone” is to “show someone”. Words are meaningless sometimes. You never have to prove to me that you love me. It’s evident.  It’s the way you always kiss me when you come home at night. It’s the way you always kiss me before we go to sleep. It’s the way we both get excited for our days off together. It’s the way you take care of me when I’m sick. It’s the way you make me laugh when I’m in a grumpy mood or do something silly just to get a smile out of me. It’s the way you’re so fascinated by my work and look at it as if it’s your first time seeing it. It’s the way you listen to me when I need someone to talk to. It’s the way you truly understand why I’m sad or why I’m feeling frustrat...

Isn’t it funny how some people view us? Have you ever thought what someone thought of you, whether it be a friend, acquaintance or merely just someone who knew who you were? It’s amazing to see the truth seep out by the words they say to others. I think everything-- every wall, every room, every source of information on the internet all have “ears”. And what I mean by that is: whatever you say to someone about somebody else, will eventually trickle into the ear of the person you have spoken about. It never fails. During the past couple of years, I have heard so many stories about “who I was” or “how poor or rich” they assumed me to be, as well as other well fabricated stories that went through mouths-to-ears and back around again a million and one times. Some of the stories are downright hysterical. Hey, let em’ think what they want. At first, I was bothered by what others thought about me, but now, I am highly entertained because each story is so different from another. Where do ...

Recently I had asked someone, “Is it me? What am I doing wrong?” I seem to find myself in circles of dramatic consequences, and when it comes to the final blow, I end up sitting and thinking, “What the hell happened?” For example, five years ago when I started this blog, I wrote mostly about gay & lesbian rights, debating with those who were Christian fundamentalists trying to win out a “belief”, or even, an “opinion” about whatever. Nobody won. It was a never-ending pissing contest. I became more opinionated and in my head, “strong-minded”. I thought, well it’s my blog and I can write whatever I’d like. But, what I didn’t realize, is that it then trickled into my own personal affairs, having to be opinionated to the point of combative. No one’s opinions were valid. I was right. End of story. Five years down the road, I figured it out. No one else could explain my dilemma of why I seem to butt heads with certain people. God forbid I come across ‘one of my own’ ---it’s just re...

Have you ever misread someone completely? Do you ever try to read into people too much, almost as if you were a mind reader? And just because someone says one thing, does not necessarily mean it’s accurate or true at all. Sometimes, no words have to be said in order to pick up ‘the vibes’ of that person you’re trying to read, or so we think. For example, when I first met Madelene, I honestly and truly thought she didn’t like me at all. Our first date was kind of awkward. Her body language said it all for me. She turned away a lot, folded her arms into her chest while talking with me and basically, kept her distance for the most part. I was used to my dates clinging onto me or just being way too ‘touchy-feely’. I picked up a ‘no way am I going through another date with you again’ from Madelene. We kissed goodnight, but that really didn’t mean anything, in terms of guaranteeing another date. The phone call the next morning from her did. She kept saying, “I had such a great time! ...

As bitter as one can possibly be, isn’t it sad when someone mutters out, “Ugh, they were such a waste of my time”, as if the person were complete trash? I often wonder if they truly mean it. I think back on all of the “waste of times” I have dealt with, to conclude that in actuality, they weren’t a waste of time after all, as much as I’d like to say they were. Every single person that has come into my life has either taught me something, made me experience something new, was there for me at a crucial period, or has simply shown me a terrific time that I will always remember. No matter how it ended, no matter how bitter the breakup or cutting the ties were, I absolutely have no regrets about anyone, be it friend or lover. I do believe that God puts people in our lives for a reason. Think back to a time where you were once friends or lovers with someone who wasn’t healthy for you. What have you learned from that relationship? What good times or new experiences did you share with them...

Trust is to be earned. It doesn’t happen instantly and sometimes, it never develops for whatever reason. I’ve had trust issues for a very long time, for many reasons and because of many people. I also know, that while one person many hurt you, another person may not do the same. People are different and we shouldn’t bulk everyone into the ‘not to be trusted’ file, but when one person after the other betrays your trust, how do you let down your guard again? Eh, we can always say, “Trust no one”, and be on our way, but the best feeling in the world is to be able to trust someone completely, with everything you have, knowing that your secrets, your thoughts and your heart is safe. That, I have with Madelene. That’s what a true best friend is. We also have a friend that we know, who without a doubt, would hold any secret sacred. How do we know this? It’s by the way she keeps quiet about others. She doesn’t talk about anyone in means of gossip or “did you hear about this or that and...

Sometimes I wonder if having a “powerful personality” is a bad thing. The reason why I question it, is because powerful personalities come across more conflicts than the average Joe. They’re strong-minded and at times can be very opinionated, not giving way to an alternative solution or idea. At times, there are no compromises to be made, which makes them seem stubborn or perhaps, rude. You either ‘hate em’ or ‘love em’. There is usually no in between. Sometimes, people are downright scared of them, or feel somewhat intimidated, hoping not to get into any type of altercation or argument whatsoever. There are three types of “strong personalities” I can think up: the type where their beliefs are absolute truths and nothing more, and the type where they’re absolute people magnets because of the powerful lure they hold, perhaps persuasive and even possess an attractive yet manipulative charm. The other type that I categorize myself in, is strong-minded, my beliefs are my truths, howev...