Living Proof

Not too long ago, I received an interesting comment that came to me as an email by Shelagh Watkins. She wrote, "About bathroom spaces and who should use them. We are berated constantly about transgender people's rights to have their feelings respected. However, little is said about the rights of the remaining 99.9% of the population to have their feelings respected. Many females have phobias about using public bathrooms. All kinds of phobias, from fear of attack to the fear of urinating in public. These irrational fears and phobias are very real. Just knowing that men dressed in women's clothes, of any sexual orientation, could be present in a female bathroom or changing area, is deeply distressing to some females. I'm using the word 'female' because the word 'woman' has been usurped by the trans community and has lost its original meaning, which is sad. We lost the word 'gay' and now we are about to lose the words 'man' and 'wom...

There are so many topics that are within the 'one' topic of transgenderism. There are even "dos" and "don'ts" out there on the internet in case you happen to be in the company of someone who happens to be transgender -- like don't misuse pronouns (him, her, she, his, etc.) -- and never (ever-ever-ever-ever) call a transgender person a "tranny". This word was adopted by the porn industry and connotes a sexual seediness to it. And like the label "transgender" comes the label, "cisgender" which many people have no clue what it means. It basically means born by birth gender. So I'm a cisgendered woman for example. The other important factor to remember as I've learned over the years is to never question their genitalia, because it doesn't matter. If they are a transgendered woman or man, genitalia does not define them. Their identity alone defines them. But still, people usually go by the details of their sexua...

Every year my wife and I take two types of vacations: one is either a trip to a beach house 'wherever' we choose and the other one is just a good ol' fashioned "staycation", where we get to stay home and take little day trips wherever we want. Staycations are great though. We get to fully enjoy our home with no stressors about money or questions about if our dog can come tag along with us or not. From BBQs and hanging out with the family, to going around our hometown discovering new places to visit or dine. So now on our first day back to status "norm" -- the happy face you see on my pup has turned to a sad look of, "Well what happened? Why aren't we going bye bye today?" And I'm trying to incorporate a two mile walk every day in the park with her so that we both don't get depressed. Wouldn't hurt to lose a few pounds anyway. Of course as a writer, I had a lot of things on my mind. Since I was in pain for much of the end par...

There are many things in life that require courage, strength and bravery. In fact, I believe every single person on this planet faces some sort of adversity, struggle and cross to bear that requires faith and of course, determination. And without that determination to press on and crush the obstacles ahead of you, then it's all just meaningless. We live in a time when being gay, lesbian or transgender is much more accepted than it was back in the eighties. "Coming out" isn't such a huge shocker anymore, unless your family and friends' "gaydar" was struck by lightening. But even so, family, friends and maybe even coworkers sometimes seem oblivious to someone's 'hint' of homosexuality or transgenderism, merely passing it off as "soft-spoken" (for a male) or a little "rough-around-the-edges" (if it's a woman). Or as my wife puts it, "femme with an edge". Gotta love the LGBT's terminology. I can only sp...

As much as we should be understanding to our transgender community, in return, understanding for the unexposed has to be given too. There's a huge difference between being bigoted and downright rude, as opposed to being curious and inquisitive about the unknown. There are even "rules" about what to ask a transgender person for people who have never come across transsexualism. Given the fact that nobody should ever ask anyone of any gender details of their genitalia -- there has to be some level of unspoken and obvious truths. Nobody seems to care about the 800 lb gorilla in the room. That's exactly how it feels to someone who has never been exposed to the transgender community. So if you want to educate society (to which some believe they should educate themselves, which would be wonderful in a perfect world) -- then why are we super sensitive when asked an obvious question that is clearly driven by basic human curiosity? A transgender medical student named, Han...

Sometimes people amaze me. I'm at the farm market standing on a long line at the seafood/sushi counter with a bunch of cackling hens talking about Jenner. I couldn't help but eavesdrop while sifting through Asian spices and wasabi that I really didn't need. I always wonder if people realize how loudly they speak, or if they talk loud enough just to get other people's attention for shits and giggles. Usually, people in public who speak about these things are very "accepting" and seem to have this enormous amount of tolerance...till they get on Facebook and start throwing their little Christian stones and tantrums. I guess the one woman particularly didn't care for transgender people, especially after she said she would strangle some "man" if they came walking into the ladies' room. I do live in a very conservative area -- an area where there's no mention of anyone who is even apart of the L*G*B*T*Q ---ever. It's like they don't e...

It's just amazing how this world works. You have religious bigots who think homosexuals and transgender people are going to hell, while committing another "biblical sin" of their own. Their own radical hypocritical views twist every single biblical scripture there is for their own agenda. Their agenda being: to change society to all heterosexual and "moral" people. They want everything and everyone uniform, in fear that the world they live in will be one filled with different people. Bigots hate change. They want "their own kind" only.  But then there's a whole other kind of bigotry going on in this world, and sadly, it's from our own gay and lesbian community. I have encountered more than a handful of lesbian women who have all stated that they would feel very uncomfortable, and would not welcome transgender women using the same restroom as they would. In fact, they also stated that they would feel "invaded" that a transgender wo...

Me at 8 years old. Mom caught me kissing a girl one day after school. I was only 8 years old. We were playing "house" and well, I was the husband and my friend was the wife. We played this a lot. "Stop that!" Mom shouted. Soon enough, my friend's mom found out and we weren't allowed to play together anymore. "Normal" kids rode bikes and played kickball. "Normal" kids played with their Barbie Dolls and played "dress up". At the age of 8 years old, I rode ATVs and hung out with a lot of boys. I had a few female friends, but I was never interested in the things they were. I played video games and went off to the sandpits to jump off ramps with our motorcycles. We did pretty dangerous things. One night, I prayed to God asking for something strange. I wanted to wake up with a "pee-pee" - a boy's "pee-pee". I always remembered Mom saying, "Ask and you shall receive - pray to God about whatever it is yo...