Living Proof

Are you a control freak? Sometimes, you just gotta say, "I'm OK with it," and move on. There are so many things we want or need to control that it just overtakes our ability to see the message that's being sent. As cliché as this may sound, maybe it was just meant to be. Maybe God removed something in your life to give you something better. Or if you didn't see what the "better" was, then maybe He was trying to test your strength and endurance, especially your faith. Years ago, when I didn't get what I wanted, I'd turn into a huge crybaby, kicking and screaming like an undisciplined kid in a supermarket. But the more I fought and cried over the situation, the worse it got. My worrying, my tantrums, my crazy episodes weren't going to make anything better. To even top it off, sometimes I would get so upset over something that I had no control over, that my uncontrolled emotions would give me severe chest pains. So now, I had another problem...

In the midst of all this political chaos and divisiveness, I found myself becoming angry. I'm not sure what stirred up my anger, whether it was a contagious wave of political egomania, or if it was an underlining tinge of fear. I do believe whether you are on the right or left of the political arena, fear is the common denominator which ultimately divides us. We don't want our rights taken away. There are different set of rights on each side. From my standpoint, my first love is God, after that, the safety of our country, the 2nd amendment, pro-life, and many other views that lean mostly conservative. But then I have my social values. I'm an advocate for the gay, lesbian and transgender communities. I believe in marriage equality. I also believe in freedom of religion, whereas if a baker doesn't want to participate in my wedding, then I would respect their views and find another baker to help us. I try to understand each side, because even though many Christians bel...

Sally Sarratt and Maria Swearingen who are a married lesbian couple, were announced as the co-pastors of Calvary Baptist Church in Washington last Sunday. They received a lot of heat from other Christians who believe that homosexuality is a sin. Most cringed, throwing stones and condemning them to hell for "false doctrine." As a Christian myself, I do not believe that homosexuality is a sin. It is listed in Leviticus, just like the other 613 commandments that were from the Old Law. New Christians believe that Jesus died on the cross and abolished the law. If you keep the Old Law, you must obey it, like steering away from lobster and shrimp scampi, not shaving your beard, not wearing clothing made out of different fabrics -- the list goes on. In the Bible, it states: "But what if we seek to be made right with God through faith in Christ and then find out that we are still sinners? Has Christ led us into sin? Of course not! Rather, I make myself guilty if rebuil...

I can work outside on my deck. Years ago when I was stuck in a cubicle for 8-12 hours, I would always imagine myself working from home. Back in the late 90's, early 2000's, that was a rarity. I never thought I could pull something like that off. There are many perks about working outside of your home: interacting with other like-minded people, a different atmosphere, office parties as well as no "set" office inside your home. In all honesty, I was very unhappy working in an office doing what I did. I went into accounting and then into a crazy high paced call center answering calls from frustrated customers for either technical support or to argue about a bill. It was tedious and downright draining. The last thing I wanted to see when I got home was a phone and a computer. In 2002, my company started laying off people by the droves, or reducing the salary into HALF. Management started shifting playing musical chairs, our quotas and numbers needed to be 99% or h...

So many of us like to place titles on our lives, like "I'm a salesperson" or "I'm a Trump supporter," and even, "I'm a lesbian."  Before I make this statement, please know that I am not lumping an entire group into a "whole", but from only what I have seen for myself. I don't like to label myself. Hate it. But it is what it is. I'm gay. I guess the technical term would be "lesbian". Whatever. I do not belong to any "community", although I am an advocate for the LGBT community as best I can. I've never been to a pride parade, simply because I can celebrate who I am right here as I am. I am not embarrassed about being gay, or about having a lifetime partner of 23 years -- I just don't want to be lumped as a "community". With that being said, I have experienced on numerous occasions, other lesbian women who do not respect my marriage with my partner. They will either try to pursue an affair...

This time of year can be very hard for some of us. Many have lost loved ones, leaving them with only an empty chair to look at during the holidays. It grips your heart so tightly, that it feels like you can't breathe. We hold onto the grief tightly too. For whatever reason, most of us prefer that dark feeling -- the grievance that aches our heart. IT's a sense of being able to at least feel anything at all. But what if we changed our mindsets? What if we knew how present and "alive" our deceased loves one were? What if we knew for sure, that they were still around us during very important moments? Remember, the deceased do not miss us. They don't long for anything. There is no time there, so the "missing someone" part is taken out of the equation. Our human minds make us believe that maybe our deceased loved ones miss us, when actually, they already know that we'll be together -- the reassurance of uniting once again. Our lifetime is only but a min...

Back in May, I believe I wrote about the same issue that I've been dealing with. I wish I could say it's insomnia, but it's not. I live a very strange lifestyle now. (No, not the type you're thinking...) But strange in the terms of off-schedule, not the norm, whatever you wanna call it type of 'strange'. I'm very open about my anxiety disorder, and that can sometimes be quite debilitating. Many people who don't understand anxiety brush it off and just tell ya to "get over it" and "face your fears" -- blah blah blah. And while that holds up to be very true, and in fact, I face at least one fear a day, it still comes on like a beast, and sometimes unexpectedly. My "beast" happens to find me at night while I'm all comfy in my bed about to fall asleep. There is absolutely nothing brewing in my little noggin other than listening to the beautiful sounds of crickets and frogs from the window left open besides me. I can't ...