Living Proof

My previous post demonstrates my distaste for protests, but for this particular one, I’m overwhelmed with images, through my own as well as through the eyes of the media and amateur filmmakers on their iPhones. Yesterday afternoon, I posed a question on Occupy Wall Street’s Facebook. I asked, “How can the protesters of Occupy Wall Street be taken seriously when there are too many people there to ruin it for the ones who are serious about it - the ones who actually have a reason for being there?” I then gave them a link to my previous article. Their Facebook wall is so active, that once you post something up there, you’re literally swallowed up by the next angry person. Isn’t that just it though? They seem to be all angry, on either sides - they are fighting amongst themselves, and most of all, they are fighting with the ones who are genuinely asking them questions about it. Here’s the only response I got, from a lady named Sandi Brockway. She tells me to “educate myself”. I’m sure yo...

This has to be the most confusing protest of all time. I have never once seen a protest that had numerous and varied reasons, some irrational. I would have total respect for these Occupy Wall Street protesters if they were calm; if they protested and had a logical explanation (or at least one strong reason) of ‘why’ they’re out there, and if they conducted themselves like human beings. The sad truth is that most of them are acting like complete animals. It’s barbaric, unsanitary and dangerous. Corporate greed is one reason. Yes, protest! Bailing out banks who didn’t deserve it while many citizens are out there struggling to pay off their debts - yes, protest! But when does it become irrational? One girl who was interviewed said, “I would like all my student loans to be paid off.” ...Really? Many people cannot give you an actual reason without skirting around trying to hide their stupidity with big words they learned the night before by their “leader” of the pack. It’s getting uglier an...

From time to time, I’ll get an email from someone wanting to challenge me on religious views due to my homosexual lifestyle. They’ll ask the same thing every other Christian has asked me: “How can you be a lesbian and a Christian at the same time?” Once, I had sent someone a link to an article I had written so it would better explain that, but the person who emailed me pointed out how impersonal it was. Other mail comes from hateful Christians telling me that I'm going to hell and that I live a sinful life. I also have emails such as older women who have been married for over somewhat years, has kids, grandkids and their life has been made “comfortable”, ask me, “I always knew I was gay and can’t keep it in any longer. What should I do?” For me, I can’t answer that. The entire concept of possibly having your family, which you’ve created, you loved for all these years can come toppling down like an unstable building in an earthquake. I can’t say, “Come out and be YOU!” It’s not my p...

That titles says it all, right? I’ve always struggled with anxiety, and most people say they’re “stressed out”, either from work, from school, from family problems or relationship issues. Then you have me: stressed at the drop of a hat for no apparent reason, or for irrational reasons. And then once something stress-worthy comes walking across my path, the panic button is no longer in sight. I’m overwhelmed, and sometimes, it actually hits that numb feeling, almost as if my body is trying to protect me from an overload of anxiety. Nobody in my life, except for my wife sees my full-fledged anxiety attacks. Nobody else, even family members can really see ‘the real Deb’ - the Deb that paces back and forth all hours of the night, shaking out her arms out to relieve that pins & needles feeling. The Deb that pours a glass of wine to take the edge off. The Deb that actually hops in her car, drives mach 90 only to get a prime seat at the bar. Things had to change... I had a good friend wh...

All my life I have been known to forgive, and quite easily. That’s not to be mistaken for letting people walk all over me, but putting myself in their shoes knowing how horrible I felt for either making someone feel bad or offending somebody by my words or actions. I never understood it if someone held a grudge against me, or for anyone. I’d always tell them to forgive and forget. I used to be able to do that so freely. I used to be able to let things go and completely forget about the offense. I’d like to think I still forgive freely, however there’s quite a difference in my way of thinking, my way of healing, my way of letting that person know that it’s not okay to do ‘that’ to me, or say ‘this’ to me. It’s not that I demand respect or think I’m all high and mighty, I just want to feel respected as a person, as a friend, as in any relationship I may have with someone. Whenever I was in the wrong, I’d quickly apologize, begging for forgiveness, and usually, it was given to me. If...

Jared, the aspiring and well loved comedian starts fussing with his hair before he walks out on stage. He checks to see if his buttons on his shirt are all alined. He tucks it in, flattens it out near his chest and fixes his slightly wrinkled pants since he’s been sitting in a car for five hours just to do a show for mere exposure. There’s usually no pay, there’s no reward other than perhaps a free drink and huge ego boost generated from the howls of laughter being heard amongst the audience. “What if there’s no laughter? What if people stare at me, hoping that I would stage left?” he says to himself as he stares at the very sad aspiring comedian in the mirror. His heart begins to pound. It’s a new city, new people, new stage, new attitudes. His insecurity starts overwhelming him as he feels his throat closing up a bit. He shakes his arms out to relieve the tension - it’s his technique to ‘shake it out’ - get rid of the static he says. Beads of sweat start to form above his upper lip...

There are many things I have learned over past decade or so that makes me wonder about other people’s motives, and even my own. In relationships, we all would love to trust the person we’re with and have that be the best friendship we’ve ever had. We want to trust our friends, the ones who we confide in, the ones we think who are keeping our innermost secrets. Reality is harsh sometimes. We sometimes find out the hard way that people aren’t perfect. It hurts. It feels like betrayal - but is it? Or is it more or less just being human? I guess it depends on the level of “betrayal”. My trust begins with myself - the ability to forgive, and hopefully forget if possible. There are so many outside people interjecting into relationships - giving them unnecessary advice, whether or not it’s genuine. The problem with that is, if that one outside person is negative and unforgiving, the person in the relationship taking the advice will then most likely not forgive his or her partner. Why do you t...