Living Proof

What makes a blog interesting? What lures you into a particular website on a daily basis? Is it their life, their writing style, their opinionated nature, advice, or perhaps just a morbid fascination with negative controversial topics that are begging for desperate attention? I’ve found quite a few bloggers who try to be another Perez Hilton, but just don’t make the cut. Most ‘attention begging’ blogs that I have seen hardly generate any traffic at all. Their Twitter accounts are less than 100 people and their fan pages that they sadly set up are still in the two digit phase. The unfortunate part is, they’re usually well written and you can obviously see that the blogger is intelligent for the most part. But here’s the drawback in my personal opinion: they have nothing positive to say about anything. It’s all about relentlessly bashing other people for the mere sake of possibly getting noticed. While it’s fun to read tabloid-like blogs, it’s also entertaining to see a positive spin, ...

W hat a spectacular season premier of The A-List NY - “housewives with balls”, as they call them, on LOGO. I’m hanging on the edge of my seat every single second. If you haven’t seen the show, it gives you an idea of the gay community in an upper class environment. These are all hard working boys (and now gal), and of course, they play hard as well. I have had the pleasure of working with Ryan Nickulas, celebrity hairdresser and owner of The Ryan Darius Salon in NYC. My wife also gets her hair done by Ryan. He is an absolute pleasure to be around. No aires, no ‘acts to put on’ -- all genuine realness is what we've experienced. This goes for his best friend, TJ Kelly as well. After the season premier, I scrolled down Twitter and other networking sites plus Google to see what people were saying about the show. I understand when people don’t particularly like a show, they may comment briefly and then let it go. But these boys are really getting hit hard by jealous and resentful gay m...

Have you ever heard someone talk about their past with such enthusiasm that their eyes light up? I love seeing that each time my mom talks about her childhood years growing up in Brooklyn, NY. From her playing Jax in an alley with her friends to meeting my father at a church dance when they were only seventeen years old. All of her stories are so entertaining, even when she told me she used to use two tin cans attached to a string, sending one over a clothes line in the courtyard of her mom's tenement building to reach her best friend in the apartment over on the other side. They would have conversations at night using this ancient method. Back then, creativity was forced upon you. There were no cell phones, texting, computers or social networking sites to see what your friends were doing every single second of the day. You had to literally walk a few blocks to “check their statuses”. There was no such thing as an “obesity epidemic” - people actually walked to communicate, because ...

Every one of us have to go through some type of adaption phase, whether it’s a change of job, relationship or moving to a new location. Whatever it is, it’s not always easy. For some, it can be a relief - a happiness - ‘a long time coming’ type of transition, and for others, it can be the most frightening experience ever. Everyone’s different. I’ve done every one of these transitions mentioned above and I have come out of it alive, thank God. During the transition, it probably would have been best to wrap me up in a straight jacket and throw me in a padded room. Job change, relationship change, moving - all of those require time to adjust. All of them require patience. All require work - work towards sanity at some point. It’s especially difficult for me since I have zero patience and want everything done asap. ...Unrealistic. Since we have moved over to our new location, there have been a ton of things done, as far as renovating, which took time, money, patience, blood and sweat. Yo...

Have you ever just sat there thinking about your life and wondering when it will ever ‘work out’? And truthfully, nobody really understands your situation, because they’re knee deep or higher in their own problems. “But my problems are so much worse.” ... Are they? Is your cross too heavy to bear? The young man was at the end of his rope. Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer. “Lord, I can't go on,” he said. “I have too heavy of a cross to bear." The Lord replied, “My son, if you can't bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room. Then, open that other door and pick out any cross you wish.” The man was filled with relief. 'Thank you, Lord,” he sighed, and he did as he was told. Upon entering the other door, he saw many crosses, some so large the tops were not visible. Then, he spotted a tiny cross leaning against a far wall. “I'd like that one, Lord,” he whispered. And the Lord replied, “My son, that is the cross you just brought in.” Sha...

Many times, I’ve found that it can be extremely difficult to write during certain periods of my life, especially when I was separated or going through a breakup, it was hard to write down all of my feelings and share it with the world. It was emotional, raw, angry, sad, vulnerable - all things that would make a writer “great”, or perhaps relatable. I remember I had written a post called, “Napkins”. Many people commented or emailed me about it, but one of my favorite writers had text me and said, “Wow, that was a really powerful post, Deb.” I deleted it because I didn’t want the person I spoke of to be worthy of my ‘ink’, or perhaps to have the feeling that she has some sort of faux power over me. The one thing I have that she didn’t was a medium to outlet my feelings and get advice and comments. Although it was such a long time after we parted, I would sometimes get overwhelmed by unanswered questions, lack of closure if you will. The reason why I’m writing this is because a wonderful...

A friend of mine found me on Facebook the other day. We were catching up from years gone by. We went to high school together and even worked together for quite some time, but we never hung out or called one another like buddies for some reason. Now, as adults, we find ourselves in similar situations and lifestyles. I had no clue she was gay, and she didn’t know I was either. We both dated guys way back when, so it never occurred that we were both playing for the same team. There was one thing she said while flipping through my virtual photo albums on Facebook. “You really look happy, Deb.” Isn’t it funny how we glare at photos, assuming somebody’s life is ‘this way’, when sometimes, it can actually be a whole different story behind those pixels. Even with celebrities, they show their best faces, smiling, posing for the camera showing you their best side. God forbid a camera should catch me in the midst of a PMSing moment. People would definitely ask, “I wonder if she’s ok? I wonder i...