Living Proof

…that I’ve been neglecting my blog for so long and not updating you with what’s going on, (as though you’ve been sitting in the same spot waiting for me to return like some weird crazy stalker ). I’ve been so caught up with moving and adjusting my belongings to its new home and finally…just breathing. I do have a list of things I’ve learned throughout this whole moving ordeal. It’s a new community with new people and well, new growing pains here… My top ten list... 10. Recycling. Apparently, there’s a huge “save the earth” cult making its way to the area. Any can, bottle, or any metal or glass object in the wrong place will have you paying high fines or force you to give away your firstborn child. Cardboard has to be cut up and folded neatly. I’m sitting there stabbing the cardboard like a freaky homicidal lunatic screaming, “Bleed already! Bleed!!!” 9. My landlord. He’s a little funny gay Jewish man. He reminds me of an older Isaac Mizrahi. His voice is raspy and mannerisms are flamb...

T here are two things in life to which I borderline loathing: gray areas (not knowing where I stand in life) and the in between process from depression to extreme happiness. I call it the “eh” stage. Some would call it the mediocre or content stage of your life. In the process of being caught in that gray area, it’s almost as if there’s no feeling at all. You can either take it or leave it. It’s just “eh”. Whatever. Things could be worse, but things could be much better. I’ve always fluctuated from being severely depressed, then rose up to that middle stage only to climb the stairs of extreme happiness. Doc says I don’t have bi-polar disorder, that I’m normal and that these stages are perfectly fine. I disagree, but I’m not sure if I prefer it this way. I don’t think being bi-polar or manic-depressive is a bad thing. Let me explain… In a depressive state-of-mind, I become analytical, more spiritual, extremely creative to where I write a helluva’ lot more and create new and different s...

There are so many things that have evolved regarding social morality. Some even believe that it derives from religion itself, when in fact, man has been using the ‘evolving social morality’ to change certain things that they feel to be inappropriate, and/or to make “new laws”. People want ‘what’s best’ for their children and family. They want to stop human nature and become more reserved, self-disciplined and robotic. The stigma on “human nature” seems to correlate with “animalistic behaviors”. But, what was man really like 2,000 years ago? People back then, with various cultures practiced rituals on their children to become “men” or “women”, when hitting puberty. At the age of 13 years old, a lot of cultures would cast their children off after their rituals to become men- to provide for their new wives. Isn’t that sort of young? To us, it seems very young and senseless to put a child out there to provide for his wife and produce babies. But if you really think about it, God made our b...

Why are so many Christians confused? They don’t understand that homosexuality is just an orientation. I’m speaking of those types of judgmental Christians; the radical ones who love to slander people. They confused homosexuality with pedophilia, rape, murder, and promiscuity in general and love slandering the gay community any way they can. Let me just make one thing clear: homosexuality has nothing to do with pedophilia. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. These ‘so called Christians” ramble on over the statistics that there are more gay men that are pedophiles than there are straight men. They’re wrong. I’m not slandering heterosexuals – I’m just stating a statistical fact. Pedophilia is in a whole different category all together. Pedophilia: sexual desire in an adult for a child. Homosexuality: sexual desire or behavior directed toward a person or persons of one's own sex. It’s pure ignorance to think that homosexuality stems for the desire for pedophil...

W hen we put our trust in God, what are we really doing? To some people, it means that we’re leaving all our responsibilities to something of the unknown. To others, it means that we trust in God- we let God work within us and help us with our life’s struggles. It depends on where your faith lies. It’s difficult to just say, “Oh here God, take my problems and let me be rid of them!” Then you look down, and see that they’re still there. What does it take to have God handle it all? Does God actually take full reign and tackle each problem at hand? Or is it just a ‘good feeling’ to say, “God take away all my problems!” I’ve tried giving all my problems to God. Sometimes, I found myself frustrated, because the problem still stood right in front of me, staring at me straight in the face. It’s still there. God didn’t take it away. As I delved deeper into the meaning of “take away my problems God”, I realized that it was more than just saying, “take away my problems”, it’s a matter of helping...

T here’s always something tugging me back; holding me from whatever it is I want to do. It’s a debilitating feeling that has me kept inside my own prison: anxiety. Where does it come from and why does it persist? I’ve dealt with anxiety for a very long time – half my life actually. Sometimes it’s not bad, and other times, it’s so debilitating that it prevents me from doing everyday tasks. I can control it, but there are times when I just give up and let it take over. That part, of course, is my own fault. I read something today that encouraged me. “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.” ~ 2 Timothy 1:7 Underneath the passage there was more… “Debilitating fear is not from the Lord. We can call upon God’s Spirit to give us the power to face our foes, the love to overcome evil with good, and the discipline to persevere through our trials. We have been given the power to turn from fear to faith.” And that right there tells me that I nee...

B atten down the hatches, disinfect anything that has been outside your house, wash your hands, one, two, three times my lady, and remember not to let any outsiders inside your home. It’s a dangerous world out there and we need to be safe. Stock up on a huge Sam’s Club amount of Purell hand sanitizer and make sure you open all doors with your sleeve. Don’t let anyone touch you- not even your spouse! They reported on the news this morning that there is a new “bug” sweeping across the nation. This “bug” acts like a cold, but is dangerous enough to kill people. A 19-year-old boy died from this bug already. Apparently, this cold doesn’t get better, it just keeps progressing until it hits pneumonia and eventually death. I’m already neurotic with my OCD. This news comes shortly after the “super bug”. Antibiotics are resistant to both bugs and people are getting nervous all across the board. Now, I could be an alarmist and say terrorists are to blame, but I could be wrong of course. Seriou...