Living Proof

Typically I don’t like to reveal letters from a friend, but this one struck me as something I should share with everyone. This friend will remain anonymous out of respect of her privacy. Her words speak pain and they cry for help. Her agony of what she goes through reflects on what she paints on her canvas. She’s a beautiful person with so much passion. Her work is absolutely amazing. There’s a reason why a beautiful person such as herself goes through so much turmoil. Here’s her letter to me: "Hello Deb, I haven't heard anything from you in a long time what have you been doing? I have decided to contact your friend’s gallery. I finally put up a real website, please check it out. I have been down about woman. I try to hide it but it like I keep being reminded how in little ways of the major disappointments I have endured in my last relationship. So I am hiding and hoping life won't find me. Maybe the feelings are good for painting but not much else. Anyway enough about ho...

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you. Maybe not in the court of law, but it definitely plays a huge role in my life. I remain silent, because anything I say is always taken out of context. Anything I say is used against me for reasons of guilt, shame, discomfort and self-serving purposes. I feel trapped. I can’t speak a word. I can’t say what’s on my mind without thoughts of possible repercussions. One truth may lead to “this” disaster, and the other truth may lead to “that” disaster. If I can’t be honest then I have to remain silent. How long can I go before I finally burst? My worst fear is hurting someone. It also goes hand-in-hand with hurting myself in the process. I’m stuck. “What’s on your mind?” A select few ask me. I can’t. Fear rises up within me and I start to shut down. I tune everything out and go into my own world. “Nothing.” I say. I used to write such revealing stories on my blog. Now, it’s come to the point where m...

It’s one of those days where the news guy is telling us, “Don’t go out there today! It’s going to be the coldest day in years!” Fine. I’m staying put. No one go to work or do any errands today! Do not go out to get your mail and do not even attempt to open your door if someone’s on the other side. We have to protect ourselves here. If anyone is going to make a huge fricken deal about the weather, it’s the news. They want “big news” and they want everyone to know…you’re in it! Most people tune into the news just to hear the weather if it’s bad outside. The newscasters seem to hype it up a tad and make a fiasco out of it. “Blizzard conditions” and “wind chill” are exaggerated terms in order for the viewer to go, “Ooooh, wow!” What about the “heat index”? Another exaggerated term for telling the temperature. As a matter of fact, the newscasters don’t even bother telling you the temperatures anymore. They just hop on the screen and tell you the heat index or the wind chill temps. It’s kind...

What’s the proper etiquette when a break up is taking place? What do we say to the ex or what do we expect from the ex? Do we say anything at all or do we simply just pretend nothing ever happened? I’d like to say it depends on the relationship and if the two people involved can engage in a cordial friendship. Can two lovers demote one another back to being friends? What if the relationship never started at as friends? See, there’s the problem right there. Any successful relationship has the foundation of friendship. Those who started right off the bat in a lustful and sexual way will most likely see negative results in the end. Or am I wrong about that? The main question is, when do we finally let go of the ex? Do you remain in contact for a period of time before you part ways? Or do you linger on and torture yourself of what ‘could have been’ until you’re blue in the face? There are different types of people. You have your types of people where they hang on as long as they can. They...

This is a letter from a friend who chooses to remain anonymous. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your inner feelings regarding your experience, my "anonymous" friend! Dear ~Deb, I was wondering if you would post this on your blog. I typically blog about the Bee Gees, installing vinyl floors, and why the WNBA is not a commercially viable sport. You might imagine I have loads of regular readers, but I don't want to post on the subject of religion (for fear I might lose him, I mean them). I am an avid reader of your blog, and this subject seems much more at home with your blog. Plus, I don't want to be labeled a "kooky religious type" by my readers, so I would like to share these thoughts more anonymously. I had a dream recently, and this one little dream has changed my entire outlook on life. How can that be, you wonder? I dreamt about my mother, and it was one of the most intense dreams I have ever experienced. My mother died less than one year ago, an...

Does a clay pot ever argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute the one who shapes it, saying, “Stop, you are doing it wrong!” Does the pot exclaim, “How clumsy can you be!” How terrible it would be if a newborn baby said to its father and mother, “Why was I born? Why did you make me this way?” ~Isaiah 45:9-10 It’s hard to determine, but I can see patterns of my niece Sonya becoming more and more familiar to me. My entire family thinks my niece shares traits much like myself, in fact she’s a repeat of me when I was her age. My sister ends up blurting out my name while calling for her. She’s reminded of the days when I was that age, when my sister would baby sit me. I always poke fun at my sis and say, “You’re totally reliving my youth!” Sis claims that I touched her stomach and put some spell on her, making her unborn child a ‘spawn’ of me. We laugh and joke about it, but in reality we find it oddly amusing that Sonya is a replica of what I used to be at her age. Not only does she res...

Taking a look of how my life has been back then to now, I now realize I was a huge hypochondriac when I was younger. (Okay, just a tad now too.) In my twenties I was able to work out every day of the week, drink without really feeling the effects of the hangover the next day and never really understood pain until recently. The only pain I have felt since I was 12 years old was menstrual – which I happen to get severely. After 30 years old, I started feeling the pangs of getting older. First it started out with my first real experience with back problems. I remember I was in the shower putting hot water on my back, trying to relieve the ‘dull ache’ I had been getting for the past couple of days. When I got out of the shower to put my hair into a towel, BAM!!! That’s when my back gave out on me and I went tumbling over the tub onto the floor. Lying there naked, I screamed out to my girlfriend, “Help! Help! Help!” And thank God she was home that day. She had to remove this very large wet...