Living Proof

Are we prisoners of our own insecurities? Sometimes I’m faced with that dilemma myself. I take things too seriously; I get offended quickly, or take things out of context---which never were applied to me in the first place. It’s as almost being paranoid in a sense. Each word sounds as if it’s an attack on you. I guess we need to discern from what is a personal attack, to what’s just being said in general. I think I learned a lot on both ends of the spectrum. I have offended people without realizing it, and I have taken offense to people (friends) who said things that weren’t meant to be in a derogatory manner. I believe each person has their own insecurities; one differing from the next. Is it a matter of being more sensitive to other people’s feelings? Or is it just merely not being susceptible to other people’s criticisms, and/or opinions? They may just be ‘speaking their mind’ and expressing their thoughts in a unique approach. It can sometimes be hard to read a person when they ...

For those who think I’m this huge alcoholic------here’s a post-- just for my favorite bartender… “Don’t drink that crap! It’ll kill ya!” Carla, the bartender screams across the bar, as she takes away your coffee, knowing you have a hangover, and replaces it with a bloody mary. Rambunctious, unruly, and boisterous---Carla was good at her job. I never ran out of beer sitting at her bar, nor did I ever go in there ordering coffee when she was tending. It was unheard of. We were there for spirits and a good time. Her loud cheerful voice echoed throughout the bar, as well as the restaurant. She was a force to be reckoned with. Her opinions were strong, crass and unpredictable, and so were her drinks. It was Carla’s last day at work. She is moving to Texas. Of course, there are wonderful bartenders at the Barnsider, but Carla will definitely be missed. She was quick-witted and knew how to approach difficult people. On her toes and ready to go, she always remembered everyone’s drink—if they...

It seems as though many people build a wall around their hearts. They hide- so to speak. For many reasons, people do not want to become vulnerable, opening them up to ‘hurt’ and ‘pain’. There is a risk when you become close with someone— there’s always a risk. If we don’t take risk, we will never know what true happiness is. I was reading this article in “The Word for You Today”—a magazine we get from a church, and it triggered something within me to post this on my blog. Let me know what you think…and how you may relate to this. “Are You Hiding?” When you don’t feel good about who you are a as person, you’ll use work, food, relationships, money and alcohol to build a wall to keep people from getting too close. Lasting relationships are only built when you stop hiding and are willing to become transparent. Another alternative is to keep the focus on others by asking, “How come she got a new house and I didn’t? Or, “Why did he get that job and not me?” That kind of thinking just cau...

"We're not just lesbians." She says to me, in an angry tone. A little note to express my feelings for another fellow lesbian in my community… Sometime I feel at a loss for my own community. If being a lesbian isn’t hard enough, it’s dealing with angry lesbians who have this mission or agenda to travel in packs who want to rule the world. Is being a lesbian hard at all? So many lesbians that I come across are angry, upset and they have this constant feeling of resentment towards anyone who doesn’t agree with their line of thinking. There is this newly formed “lesbian’s group” in my town. They have formed in herds. I was initiated a member, by a friend. I go on the website and respond to certain things they bring to the table, and I speak my mind. I guess these women are overly sensitive, because I got some hate mail. These women want acceptance from others out there, but they are not willing to accept people with different points of views. I don’t understand that. So this...

This morning I woke up to this news-like show, explaining how people in Spain & Italy (and I believe other countries) will work till noon, and then take two to three hour breaks in between for lunch. Why? So their quality of life is better. They head over to a restaurant or cafe with their friends, sit, relax and enjoy a nice glass of wine along with a great meal. A lot of Americans will seek happiness in money, while others find happiness in spending time with loved ones, having a nice lunch or dinner with family and friends, and focusing on what life truly is. There are some people who work nonstop, to only end up having heart failure due to the stressors of their job. We only live once, and if we are not enjoying our lives right now due to trying desperately hard to get from point A to point B, then we may be missing out on ‘life’. All the money in the world can’t replace the happiness that one can achieve through family & friends. If someone were to give me a billion dolla...

Having beliefs and opinions is apart of what makes us truly individuals. As unique as an opinion or belief may be, we should never judge or ridicule someone for what they stand behind. For instance, being gay- who’s to tell you that it’s wrong? (Unless you happen to step foot inside a Catholic church) Some people just assume you have opinions of a certain nature just because you are gay. I have this problem. People assume that my political views lean left. (Democratic views) If being Christian isn’t controversial enough to people who cannot understand my belief that God accepts all, then being (mostly republican) has made me an outcast to my whole community. Just because we were born gay, does not mean that we were all born Democrats. I have opinions and strong beliefs that lean right, and some beliefs that lean left---so some would actually call me a ‘moderate’. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some huge political activist running around protesting every single thing that irks me; I’m jus...

Being single and playing the field can be a fun experience and also an eye-opening adventure. There are no ties, no strings, and no commitments to be made, unless one decides to do so. In my opinion, I think it is a good idea for someone in their early twenties to experience this ‘dating frenzy’ and get their feet wet, so they know what’s out there. Well enough to have it out of their system, so that they will appreciate the art of monogamy. I get a bit nervous due to my situation. My partner of eleven years has never been with another woman…(so she says…) However, I feel as though it would have been wise for her to do so, only because she would have seen ‘what’s out there’ and experienced all and decided, “Hey, this is the one!” She does reiterate to me the fact that she does not want to be with anyone else and her love is genuine, which I also believe too, but I also tend to think about the ‘what ifs’ if she did play the field before dating me. I think of it like this… Let’s say that...