Friday, April 22, 2016

Wasting Time

Recently, I just stopped watching the news. I didn't realize how much stress it gave me. It was filling my mind with such negative things. I don't want to hear about elderly women being raped and mugged or more children being thrown in the dumpster to die. I didn't want to waste time with such horrible information. There is nothing I can possibly do to make things better or to go back in time and change it. As a result, I've been sleeping better. Go figure. But of course, there's social media to fill your head with a ton of other garbage. This morning, I just heard that Prince died from a drug overdose. What a shame. His entourage refused to wait for a private room in the hospital and then trekked him out of there leaving him to die from the lack of medical care that he could've received. But why do we need to know how Prince died? Why can't he have his privacy? I remember not too long ago there was an old friend of ours who had passed away. We hadn't spoken in years, but we heard of the news. And we both looked at one another and said, "I wonder how he died." Nobody said anything. The obituary never mentioned it either, because they typically never do out of respect and privacy. On Facebook -- nothing was added, nothing was explained and that was that. I sifted through all of the condolences and "our thoughts and prayers are with you" comments -- and not one person said, "Well, how did he die?"  Especially since this person was quite young, nobody really questioned it. They may have questioned it in their mind -- but no one was rude enough to ask. Or is it rude? 

And while we're on the topic of death and dying -- why do people speak about the greatness of someone until it's too late?  With celebrities, they get an abundance of praises and appreciation for their talent and work. But while they were here, they were left untouched; unnoticed. If I asked you last week what you thought about Prince, you'd probably say, "Oh yeah, Prince! Whatever happened to him?" Or, "Eh, yeah the 80's was great." And of course back in 2007 he did an amazing performance that many have remembered. I guess it's just being remembered, which is fine.

Let's even visit a more personal approach to death. Why is it that some people are the opposite of "fair-weather friends" -- the ones who seem to be attracted to those who are terminally ill or those who had recently died?  Some people need to let others know that they were BFFs with the deceased when in fact, they never gave them the time or day while they were still here. Even with those who were sick -- they are drawn to them, knowing that their time is limited. But while they were healthy -- they never spoke a word to them. What is that? I remember someone saying, "Oh, I was the last one she spoke with before she took her last breath." And this person used to badmouth her behind her back -- she never liked her. So why now? 

Why did she waste all of that valuable time until she was terminally ill? Until she passed on?

Ok, so let me make point. Think about your age right now. I mean -- really think about how old you are, how you feel, how you look and also think about your core beliefs. Now think back 15 years ago. I mean, really think back. Think about that particular age right now.

Doesn't it seem like just yesterday you were there?

Do you remember what happened 15 years ago? Do you remember 7-11 9-11? I remember that day most vividly as many do. And it seemed like it just happened yesterday. Time goes by so quickly. It seems as though if we blink just once, another 15 years will pass us by. I always tell this story, and I'm gonna tell it again in a shorter version. But one day, while a hospice worker was helping my father, my dad said something so significant. He said, "What happened? It's like yesterday when I was 50 years old, running the machines and excavating homes and managing a fish market at the same time. And now I'm sitting here at 75 years old with terminal cancer. Boy, life passes you by just. like. that! I can't believe it!" And it made me think back to when he was 50 years old. He ran his business until he could no longer physically work. He loved what he did and he enjoyed life to the fullest. But he felt ripped off. And God bless him for making it to 75 years old with all of his unhealthy habits. Who's to judge?


And he's gone...just. like. that.

Don't let time slip away. Don't assume that your parents will be there forever -- even your own family. Don't waste time. One day, sometimes sooner than expected, we all go home. Enjoy your loved ones now rather than someone sending you their 'thoughts and prayers'. Never miss an opportunity to spend time with those you love -- and those you think you would feel totally lost without. Never miss an opportunity of saying "I love you" pass. Tell them every single day instead of saying it near their grave. If you feel it, say it. Don't be too consumed with things you have no control over -- like wars, conflicts, natural disasters. If you are consumed with it, then go out there and help or donate money. Take action, otherwise, concern yourself with your own world with all of the people craving for your presence, your time, your attention. And "taking action" doesn't mean a bullshit post being plastered up on Facebook. Taking action is getting out there and helping. But if you are not able to physically help, then don't complain about it. You can only do so much in this world.

Stop wasting time.


So where was I? The news, right? Turn it off and tune into more important stuff, like your children or your parents. Spend time with your family and friends. Spend more time in silence so you can hear God and the Universe. Stop comparing your life to somebody else's. Love who you are and what you're doing as well as what you have. Stop competing with others and start accepting yourself as is; start accepting others as is. Stop being intolerant and start understanding.

"I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn't always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn't always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don't always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time." --Ecclesiastes 9-11

I also want to address something that's important. Whether you are deciding whether or not to accept or disown your child, your sister, your brother or your friend for possibly being gay, lesbian or transgender, or perhaps you think that they are not living a "godly life" -- I want you to think about something.

God said something very important about this in Corinthians 13-13.

"Three things will last forever--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love."

You can throw every other contradicting scripture at me for the sake of rebuttal, but at the end of the day, what is it all about? Love. It's not about being right or wrong. It's not about who lives a more "righteous" life. There are so many openly "religious" people out there who think it's ok to "speak boldly" out against anyone who doesn't seem to fit the "Christian bill". Be an example of Christianity -- not a condemner. Only God can condemn. You don't have righteous judgment on the world. You don't know what other people are suffering through. There are too many Christians who love to publicly humiliate "sinners". Their entire sermon is based off of sin itself. There are no uplifting messages or "faith", "hope" or "love". It's only "do as I do", and yet they seem to hypocritically follow a different doctrine privately. To guide people to God is to be an example of LOVE.

Another thing I don't understand is this: why do so many Christians make their primary focus on spirituality based upon Planned Parenthood? I'm pro-life, but with the exception of "choice" -- with the exception that God gave us free will. But another thing they seem to forget is that if you take away funding for Planned Parenthood, then you are taking away funding that's meant to help those who need gynecological medical care as well as cancer screening. There are many people who don't have the money or proper insurance to take care of everything. There's a much larger picture here. These religious people who seem to have very large platforms to speak on are wasting their time. They're not seeing the bigger picture.

Are you angry over people voting for Trump?
Good, waste more time.

Are you angry over people voting for "evil Hilary"?
Good, waste more time.

Are you angry that transgender people can use the proper restroom?
Good, waste more time.

Are you angry that gays and lesbians can get married now?
Good, waste more time.

Remember, every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness. You sacrifice your own happiness just because other people live differently than you, or think differently than you do. Not everyone is going to agree with your lifestyle, your opinions or core beliefs. Not everyone is going to have the same faith, religion or god as you. Some people dance to the beat of their own drum and you know what -- it's OK! We're OK. If you have enough faith in God, you'll realize that the most important issues aren't the ones I just spoke about. The most important issues are in the "now" -- it's all about the love that you give and the love that you receive. And within that love, comes action. It determines your goals and destiny. It determines what you are truly passionate about. So if your only goal in your Christian sermon or journey is to condemn people to hell or talk about politics -- then you're definitely missing the bigger picture.

Life is short. It's up to you if you choose to waste more time.

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog for some of her famous recipes!