previous post about being verbally abused and other various things, I'm sitting here thinking about ways to cope with those types of people. I truly believe that your words and especially your actions will dictate what kind of life you will have, whether it be a peaceful one, or a life filled with tons of unnecessary drama. As I season with age, I'm also learning that my own words and actions have a cause and effect. If I slap a complete stranger in the street, chances are I'm gonna get a slap back or perhaps a tenfold in return. As my own mother always said, "Turn the other cheek." But that's kinda' hard for me to do sometimes. Then my mother-in-law said something pretty wise to me a few weeks ago. She said, "Whenever you're being verbally attacked, let them hear themselves go on and on. Let them hear their own voices. Don't say a word. Just walk away." She wasn't saying to just let people walk all over you -- but to not allow the abuse to continue. The echo of your own voice, especially when being in a heat of an argument can really raise a few question in your own mind. I remember I was having a bit of a hissy fit one day and actually caught the words that were coming out of my mouth. I was so upset and angry, but it was no excuse for the way I handled it. After I had vented and 'let it all out' -- my words echoed in my own mind. It was kinda' like reminding me, "Hey, you did know there was a better way to handle the situation, right?"
Sincere apology sent…
The reason behind the madness.
I'll never forget someone close to me had said, "You're so incredibly selfish," while in the midst of a heated argument. I was always described as "generous" by this person as well as from other people around me. I would give you my last cent (if I had it) and I would never pass up the chance to help somebody out if I have the means to. After the fight, the person went back to describing me as the most generous person she knew. On another note, I can recall my friend's ex-boyfriend who called her "fat" all the time. My friend is 5'5 115 lbs. …Really? Insecure people will take the good qualities that you have and then turn them into the exact opposite. My friend's ex-boyfriend wanted her to think she was fat, so that she would think that nobody else would ever want to be with her. He wanted to tear down her self-esteem just because he felt bad about himself. He was insecure and stated that the only guy that would date her would be him, when in fact, she is quite the head turner. He knew that. So in his little demented mind, he tore down her self-esteem, and when your self-esteem is low, it can be seen through your body language making you look less attractive. She didn't walk around with confidence any longer. She slouched over more and covered her beautiful smile with her hands, because he had suggested that she should whiten her teeth.
post here, we had a disagreement last week, to which I threw an 8 lb raw chicken off the deck of our house. Nobody was hurt. No harsh words were said. I. just. vented. And I lost a really plump chicken to boot!
Whenever you find yourself in a verbal attack, how do you handle it? Do you sit back and take it? Do you let them hear their own voice and walk away? Or do you attack right back? I also have to say, there are certain situations where you have to stick up for yourself. If someone is threatening you, then give them the facts in a direct and abrupt manner and end the conversation and ties at that very moment. Nobody deserves to be verbally attacked or threatened. We can only react the best we can. I am learning that each and every single day.
And remember what Einestein once said, "Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
Weak minds = insecurity issues.
Be good to one another.
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