Wednesday, May 28, 2014

How Are You…?

You could have everything in the world you can possibly want: a nice car, good looks, wealth, education and anything else you would desire. The one thing it doesn't guarantee is happiness, contentment, a healthy mind…peace. Sometimes I wonder about some people I come across who seemingly "have it all" - but then think, just by their attitude toward life and people in general, they're not at peace at all. When I look at the videos of Elliot Rodger, here you see this handsome young man, going to college, has a gorgeous BMW and somehow, somewhere, something's lacking. You can hear it - you can feel it - you can sense that something is a bit 'off'. When I first saw his face, I said, "He killed all those kids?" He's gorgeous and probably comes from a well-to-do family. But why would this guy have any problems with girls? Why would girls reject this gorgeous kid? Didn't he have it all?

And then I listened. I observed. He's 'off'. He's sadly outcasted because he has issues. He's "weird" and "creepy" to everyone. He calls himself "magnificent" and "awesome". Listen to some of his videos. He sits in his brand new BMW near a beautiful ocean and/or sunset and watches young kids kiss and rants on about how life is so unfair. All he wants is "a gorgeous blonde girl" to love. His words are shallow and really only wants the experience of love, sex and companionship. His last video was all about revenge on those people who never gave him a chance to date, for those who never gave him a chance to lose his virginity or have friends for that matter.

I'm just making Elliot Rodger as an example to what I'm trying to say. There are so many people who "have it all" and yet, they lack the ability to really care about other people. When someone isn't happy about other people's happiness, what does it turn into? Envy. They think the world is entitled to them and that you should bow down and respect anything that they have to say or want. Sadly, I have seen many in my life who only care about what I do with my life, yet they never ask how I am. Sincere people who meddle into your life with good intentions will always inquire about your wellbeing - they won't judge, but they may suggest better avenues. That's okay and that's always welcomed. We all have room for improvement. People who are insincere actually want to see you fall, so they blabber on and on about how you should live your life, and if they see you falling, they will certainly let you fall until you can't get back up again. Don't expect a hand to extend out to you, because this was "deserved" in their minds. And it has nothing to do with materialistic things. It has nothing to do with what you have and what they don't. It has everything to do with their inability to achieve their own personal happiness, without spending thousands of dollars for quick gratification fixes. After their purchases, they'll look at you and let you know how shitty of a life you have, or they'll suggest that you shouldn't be living "like this" or "like that". Purchase "highs" only last for so long. After the big crash, because the novelty soon wore out, they'll be seeking out for that constant joy that others have - things as 'free' as a kiss on the beach, or holding hands with someone you love, or just people who have that inner joy that is unobtainable to many.

I wrote something the other day about it on Instagram and Twitter. I said, "Jealousy will only point out your shortcomings, because it can't compete with your ability to live as you want to live. Those are the people who are truly happy - the ones who have contentment and peace in their lives. Material things can never compete with peace."

Going back to Elliot Rodger, did he even notice the beautiful sunset while he was sitting in his expensive BMW? Did he notice that gorgeous face in the flip-cam of his iPhone? Did he realize what he was saying and how he was conveying his desires to other people who were viewing him? All that kid needed was a little social etiquette if he wanted all those "simple things" like kissing a girl and companionship. Life can get lonely up in a big mansion or in a high end car. Life can be lonely being with someone who isn't meant for you as well. I wonder, if he would have changed his attitude towards life, towards people he resented and acted more humble - would he have went to this extreme? Maybe he would have found a girl to love and a girl to love him in return. Maybe he would have still been here today enjoying life as he should have been. It just makes you revaluate everything and everyone. I have seen people like this, and I have even seen kids who had the same mindset like this too. That scares me.

Mental illness today isn't covered by most insurance companies and the medications that are prescribed are more likely to harm people than help them. I know from experience because I have taken a slew of antidepressants when I was younger, only to end up in the hospital with seizure-like convulsions. The average psychiatrist will charge up to $200.00 a pop. And realistically speaking, who can afford that? A one hour session every week will have you in the poorhouse. And even if people's insurance companies list mental health as a priority in their coverage, they still do not cover enough for the doctor to meet their goals. It's unfair to both, the patient and the doctor. So now, we have kids as well as adults walking around with little to no therapy, carrying a lot of strain on their fragile hearts. To me, those are ingredients for a possible disaster - a possible disaster to others, as well as a possible disaster upon themselves.

And yes, this world is unfair. It's supposed to be unfair. The teacher (GOD) is always silent while His students are being tested. Sadly, he failed miserably. But maybe, this is more of a lesson for us, about how to treat people right, about how to include people who are outcasted and help others the best we can and offer help to those who are struggling with whatever it is they have issues with. You can be a miracle to someone who didn't even expect it. You can be that person who makes all the difference just by asking, "How are you?"

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog for some of her famous recipes!