Monday, November 26, 2012

Are You Happy?

The other day, I asked Mad, "Are you happy?" It was one of those trick questions where I wanted to see how she responds to it all - not necessarily, "Are you happy in our marriage" type of digging. I just wanted to know in general, was she "happy"...? She literally sprung up from the couch and said, "Of course! What's there to be unhappy about?" and then went on to the list of "happy little things" in our lives. I wasn't speaking about what we're grateful for, but merely an overall question about one's true happiness in life as a whole. They say happiness is a choice. Mad always tells me that words have power, but when you speak words that you think may bring those powerful 'happy' vibes over, is it more of wishful thinking -- like whatever you put out into the universe you'll get back type of mindset? Or is it a matter of believe it and receive it? Bear with me on this subject because it gets even more confusing. I have something similar that I do and I swear by it. Take for instance a couple of years back when I had excruciating pain on my right side. I had to get all these crazy tests done to find out that I needed my gallbladder removed. I started reading about how important the function of your gallbladder is and refused to have it removed. Instead, I THANKED God for ALREADY healing me. Do you know I have never had that pain again since? With anything, and with faith, when I say, "Thank you for taking my headache away" or whatever ailment I'm experiencing at the time, it simply disappears. Or, is it my mind and the powerful effects that it has on the body? Science vs. spirituality again. Polar opposites.

And no way am I saying, "Oh God, thank you for giving me a million dollars" and voila - you're bank account mysteriously grew enormously. What I'm trying to say is, in overall belief of your words -- can it really affect the way you think or feel? Can it even have positive effects on your health? I read an article once where it was stating that the most healthiest people were religious ones because their faith alone got them through their trials and tribulations. So basically, it is an argument over science and spirituality. Is it our mind or is it God? "Whatever you put your mind to....blah blah blah" --- or is it the faith and trust that goes into relying on God for our needs? While Mad pipes in about how "happy she is" -- there are a TON of factors that I can see with my own eyes about her life that I can say, "How can you???" She works over 12 hrs a day sometimes with no days off and hardly any time to visit her family who she loves so so much. She wakes up, goes to work, comes home, sleeps, goes to work. If we're lucky, we can get a day in to visit family or just go out and enjoy the day. I asked her again, "Are you really happy?" And then she looked at me and said, "How can I make it better for you?" (Thinking I was insinuating that I was unhappy.) I am, but I'm up and down - happy one day and pissed off the next - an array of lovely hormonal emotions...

Here's where it boils down to: she said, "Well would you be happier in a bigger house?"
"No. My happiness or unhappiness is all within 'me'. So whether or not I happen to stumble on the biggest cookie cutter mansion with 10 different luxury cars in my driveway, I will still be a miserable bitch from time to time." She laughed at my honesty, because she knows how I am. My happiest times are when she has off from work and we take a drive to our favorite lunch joint and take Lola to the dog park. I am happiest when I get to cook for my family. I love that. I am happiest when I take my mom out for dinner or just out in general. I am happiest when I see my two nieces and my one nephew. For me, if I ever won the lotto, it wouldn't be about the money itself and what it could buy, but it would be about the TIME bought with that money. Time flies and before you know it, you're retired with silver/blue hair and ready to move to Boca Raton. So, today I am unhappy. Why? Because not only did Mad's job make her work yesterday, but they mandated work for today. We were supposed to cut our own Christmas tree and come back home where I could cook a nice meal and have some cocktails with her as well as decorate our tree. I was looking forward to this all. week. long. However, I am grateful for many things. I just wish I could win this Powerball's $425 million dollar jackpot - just to buy some more time, and perhaps a few nice sparkly things.

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