Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Pet Peeves & Pesky Pals

From the desk of Debra Pasquella:
"Do I really want to write this?"
There are a few things about me that some people find out the hard way. First, I don't like to be bombarded with 'forced in the corner' Q&A's or arrogant assumptions. I'm very easy to get along with, but if you push my buttons, you'll probably never see me again, or if you are somehow 'stuck' in my life for whatever reason -- I won't be around much. I'm not the type that tolerates an aggressive personality. If you talk over me, I'll stop what I'm saying and it'll remain within me. Continue on.. At that point, our conversation is over. I'm not fond of 'know it all' people. If you tell me I shouldn't be doing what my doctor (with years of schooling on his chosen profession) suggested, your words will fall upon deaf ears. If you snap at me, I'll leave. No argument guaranteed. If you feel I'm spending my time and money on something frivolous, like a much needed vacation, then maybe you should evaluate your own life and see what's missing. I'm not one to coddle hidden resentments due coveting my lifestyle. You made your bed and I made mine. Our lives are different and there is nothing wrong with taking care of your soul first, before trying to take care of everybody else. If people don't take care of themselves first, or at all, they become a walking time bomb.

If you gossip (bad mouth) about someone - anyone - a friend or even someone I don't know, I probably won't trust you with my own personal information. At that point, the friendship dwindles. If you give me 'read between the lines' bullshit through posting a quote or trying to say something that's related to what you're really trying to tell me -- you're probably not going to see me around your neck of the woods any longer. If you're passive aggressive with no balls to tell me what's bothering you, yet you make your spouse tell me -- I'm probably going to be absent to a lot of your functions or invites. If you tally up how many times I've gone to your place and how many times you've come to mine and then make a fuss because my home had the most tallies, I probably won't keep up with your scoreboard and will soon enough, quit the game. Visiting friends and family should not be scored or counted, the time spent together - wherever it is, should be appreciated and welcomed. Why is everything gotta be a huge fiasco? Why can't we just enjoy life and not tally up how many visits one did or didn't make?  It's silly. Life's too short for that bullshit.

If I have contributed to your cause or foundation for whatever it may be and the recipient keeps begging for more funds, I'm out, especially when there's a huge lack of appreciation. I'm not saying I want a prize for contributing, but to continually beg a friend for more money is a bit ridiculous. I get you - I see your foundation and when I have more money, maybe I'll pitch in from time to time. Don't beg. It's petty. People should be able to see what the foundation is - be presented with it - and let them make their own contributions at any given time they can. We all need money, some causes are more important than others in my opinion, so if it's not for reasons of helping patients with cancer or other types of illnesses, DO NOT put your foundation above something that can save lives. I will lose complete respect for you. I understand starving artists have it hard and yeah - it would be super cool to get a few thousand dollars to start up a new career, but when it comes to friends, it's a bit hard to swallow at times when it's shoved down your throat.

I consider myself to be a very generous person, but the untactful attempts of drilling a hole in my wallet is enough to drive me insane. Even all the complaints above I have given here are reasons why I avoid certain people. And it's sad, because sometimes these people are cosmically stuck in our lives for whatever reason...maybe karma...who knows. I guess the best thing we can do is not feed into the beast and let them know there are people who out there who will not tolerate it. And it's quite simple, disappear. That's all you have to do. You don't even have to say one word. Your absence is enough for them to realize, "Hey, maybe I did something he/she didn't feel too warm & fuzzy about." Voila - an epiphany!

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook.

3 comments:

The Elephant's Child said...

Once a representative from a charity here cold-called me to ask for a donation. I, quite politely, said sorry I contribute as much as I can to other organisations. Like a bullet she said 'drop one or two of them and support us'. Really she did. And when I picked my jaw up from the floor I terminated the call.

the walking man said...

So does this mean you can't spare me a twenty?

Deb said...

TEC, that's what I mean. It's like, ok you presented 'this' to me, and now let me do what I choose. When it's forced, it becomes more of a beggar situation. Not only did they call me 3 times with this particular issue, but emailed me 5 --- 5, and the 5th was just a "reminder". ...........REALLY?

Mark, I'll spot ya a twenty... :)