Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Where's the Fire?


There has always been a huge vast difference between Madelene and I - to the point where I actually asked her why she was even with me. We laugh at our differences now, but earlier in our relationship, I really wondered if it would work out for us. Mad's a hustler. She can (and sometimes does) work12 hr shifts sometimes every single day of the week (including weekends sometimes) and can come home and be able to go out and have fun or do some sort of project around the house. I'm the type where you get me to work a total of 3 hours and I'm ready for a break. I wanna play. But, if I'm on a mission, I wanna go go go. Sometimes my work projects take more than 12 hrs to complete if I'm heavily into and trying to concentrate, but thank God it's not all the time. Here's where our differences 'together' are funny. Take for instance, Madelene and I going grocery shopping together. Here's where I get into "mission mode" - where all I want to do is get in, get the shit & git. I have no time to fiddle-faddle around the meat section to see what's on sale. If I want a steak, I grab it. If I want chopped meat, I grab it. It's that simple. "Mad, go to the deli counter and grab the cold cuts while I head to the bathroom." I make a beeline to the restroom, and when I got out, there she was, standing with one leg on her cart leaning over reading her circular....with no turkey.

"Where's the turkey?" I ask.
"I'm was waiting for you." 
"We coulda' killed two birds with one stone. Wassamadda' wichoo?" 
"I like to mosey and see what else is on sale. Where's the fire?" she says, as she folds her circular under her arm and wheels the cart over to the deli counter.

Madelene will proudly and publicly whip out her oversized circular and make sure she's getting a good enough deal on whatever. "Mad, just get the turkey we usually get," I say to her as the deli clerk is waiting for our order. We're 'up', but Mad is still searching in her massive coupon circular. "Black Bear turkey please," I said to the clerk, frustrated over the amount of time it took for Mad to chime in. Mad shoots me a look and says, "I just wanted to see if there was another interesting type of turkey and if it was low sodium." The clerk heard her and said, "This kind has no MSG, which is low sodium."  It didn't stop there. In another aisle where we get our bomb shelter supply of seltzer (for our vodka drinks of course) she stands in front of the brand we get for like ten minutes. She's studying all of the 'buy 4 for $1.99' tag. I start playing with my phone, checking my email, Facebook, and of course taking comical photos of her because I'm SO bored at this point. "C'mon - get it."

As we're walking down the aisle with our 20 bottles of seltzer and a pound of low sodium discounted turkey, she starts hysterically laughing. "What?...(laughter)...."WHAT?" I said, frustrated because now I'm thinking I have toilet paper hanging off my jeans. I start checking myself and trying to figure out what she's laughing at.  "I've never seen such short legs go so fast!"  I shoot her a look and start shuffling my short legs pushing my cart even faster just to get away from her. Then I started laughing myself and we couldn't stop. People were staring at us as if we were high. As we're opening up the trunk to my car, she starts cleaning and 'patting' the back of my trunk, like making it all nice and tidy. My trunk is empty mind you, with a few wood pieces in it because I trudge along firewood in the winter (which I shouldn't with my car) but I have to. So she's standing there, taking her time, while I have two heavy bags in my hand ready to be flung in the trunk. "Are you DONE?" The giggles start. "Where. is. the. fire???" she says again, laughing so hard that she can hardly breathe.

I'm starting to realize something. I'm learning a lot from my wife. She can actually do errands and enjoy herself. She can take her time, look at sales, fiddle-faddle her way through every fricken aisle, where I'm all super amped up full of anxiety trying to get the hell outa' that place. But if you think about it, this is why I have anxiety. I look at life differently. I see it as "get it done get it done get it done", while Mad enjoys every second of her life. Although she enjoys and finds my anxiety-ridden short legged shuffle amusing, she is also trying to teach me to slow down, because life's too short. And I'm trying to tell her to hurry up, because life's too short. All I wanna do is get our stuff, come home and enjoy each other's time, but in the process, I'm all frazzled over being in the crowded supermarket complaining about this & that, while Mad is just sitting in the long line finding anything and anyone entertaining and enjoying every second. I'm starting to get it now. Ok, I have to end this post because I gotta get outa' here.

"No one can get inner peace by pouncing on it." ~Harry Emerson Fosdick

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com

3 comments:

The Elephant's Child said...

I can relate to this far too well. My partner likes to go up and down each aisle checking, just checking. If I am forced to go, I want to whip round, going to only the aisles where I want something and bolt for the door.
He brings home some complete crap from time to time but it works soooo much better if the shopper likes their task. He doesn/I don't. He shops/I rarely do.

the walking man said...

Hey My wife and yours can go grocery shopping together and you and I will sit in the car, play the radio too loud and fume at them taking so long eh?

Tamar said...

Madddy!! Send me shopping with her, I'm the biggest grocery store fiddle-faddler there is!! Those pisces LOVE their sales!! It's great that you can appreciate her after all these years. Pisces people are always spreading important messages in subtle ways.
Hi Deb!! OK, I shouldn't put all this in your blog, but I wanted to say 'hi'- did you hear the big news from Guntown Mississippi? I can still hear Tom Brown's voice (was that his name?) BEEP! 'Missis-sipi!'- which I always thought was 'Mrs. Fibbi!'- some lady so famous she had her own whisper tone. Miss you, 'let!!