Monday, June 06, 2011

Schmucks!

So far so good. Slowly but surely. I can spit out every cliche about the process of moving, getting the old place cleaned up and getting the new place renovated and freshened up. But I do have many complaints about it and I will try the best I can to put a positive spin on it... If you’re going to come to the house and give me a “free” estimate, do not change it. Your estimate should be solid. You have looked at your ‘to do’ list and now you have just given somebody a price for your hard work. Be consistent. Don’t say, “Well, it was more work than expected so I had to add an extra $300 to it.” That’s just bad business. If you’re truly a professional and you’re out there giving “free” estimates, be truthful. I’ll even pay for the “free” estimate just for you to be honest. Our floor guy ripped out part of the carpet, not all like we asked him to. So, from $300 to do everything, he said that it would be $600 ---MORE! So he left us pulling up the carpet ourselves, as well as the million tacks that went along with it. Fine. Screw us over because you see a couple of girls who probably don’t do manual labor. Schmuck.

I guess this isn’t so positive...

We’re hiring new movers. The last ones who gave us a ‘“free” estimate said it would be $300 to move all of our furniture from point A. to point B., even knowing that there were four flights of stairs to our condo. When the furniture was finally all inside the unit, the gumba looks at us and says, “Yanno, dat wuzza' heavy couch and stuff and it was very difficult to bring up dose' stairs, so we hafta' charge you $600.00.” There was really nothing we could do about it other than pay him and his helper. He knew how heavy our furniture was. He knew how enormous our bed and mattress was. They have to literally try to fold our California king pillow top in order to get into a doorway. Not only that, but they had to use a pulley from the deck to the ground to get it out of the house. We warned them of every possible scenario so that this type of thing wouldn’t happen. Schmuck!

And for the life of me, I cannot understand why the guy who renovated the upstairs portion of the house had painted every trim beige/brown when it should have been white. Not only that, but he left white paint all over my hard wood floors. So now, we have to get sanders to fix the floors as well as polish all the scuff marks. We’re also painting everything, as opposed to hiring someone to do it for a grand. We both went to Home Depot, got our “lesbian outfits” on and got the most gorgeous colors to brighten up our living room and bedroom. I have to admit, it was fun painting and even a lot more fun finishing it. Madelene laughed at me as she watched me take the roller to paint the wall, yet couldn’t reach the top because I’m too damn short. But not for nothing, it’s coming out terrific. And for the guy to quote us $1,000 to paint two rooms? Schmuck!

I am really considering changing careers and doing cheap ass painting jobs for people who need it. I can’t believe what people charge for jobs that only take approximately 2 hours to do. I will admit, they are geniuses because people fall for it all. the. time. We’re talking about renting a sander and doing the polishing all by ourselves. Screw paying another grand. We’ll get it done. I'll probably sip my wine afterwards thinking, "Wow, we did all this!" And get this, for all those whiney men who complain about “needing work” - I finally offer them a 2 hour job for a good price and they never show up or just don’t want to do it.

Schmucks!

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