Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Gay/Straight Marriage: What's the Difference?

It’s funny, because when my partner, my wife comes home from work, I make sure there’s dinner on the table for her and comfortable clothes for her to change into - clothes that I washed for her. Usually, roommates don’t do that for one another. We do things as a team. We spend time with family and friends and make sure our home is welcoming for those who visit. We sleep in the same bed. We never go to bed angry. When we wake up, I quickly shuffle into the kitchen to make her coffee and a big breakfast - not because she demands it, but because I love her. We do things for one another out of love, not out of obligation. We enjoy making each other extremely happy however we can. When either one of us are sick, we take care of each other. I’d be lost without my best friend...without my wife.

How is this different from other heterosexual married couples? Legality? Religion? Well, we’re now legally married here in New York and wow, we’re both Christians. Go figure. And if some religious zealot is going to rant off, “Well you can’t procreate, that’s why God created a man and a woman.” What about those straight couples who aren’t able to have kids? They have to adopt, go through other means, or go without. Does that mean they should divorce because there won’t be little ones running around the house? There is absolutely no logic in denying gays and lesbians the right to marry. None. Some people call homosexuals “perverts” --- well I’ve met more heterosexual perverts than I have gay ones. No logic whatsoever.

In my opinion, this type of mindset is due out of insecurities of people who are either closet homosexuals, religious people who misinterpret the bible, or those who are republicans who don’t want to lose their 'right' standing in office. What these people are trying to do is take away the rights of people who truly love one another; people who want to take care of their loved ones without feeling like an ‘outcast’ to their family members if they need to make a medical decision. Our love is no different than a heterosexual type of love, a familial type of love ---let us live in peace and just be content with your own lives. How is our union affecting your lives? How can two people who love one another, who want to marry legally affecting the way you live your life? Maybe it threatens your own sexuality? Maybe it threatens your own sense of “morality” and that heterosexual immorality is okay? Some people feel that same sex unions takes the sanctity out of marriage. I often question many straight people who marry, only ending up in bitter divorces and broken up families due to infidelity or the unwillingness for some religious straight people to control their carnal desires. It's all the same. We all have that inner struggle, our carnal desires, our own immorality as individuals, but when we love with all our hearts, how can marriage be wrong for anyone who is willing to put forth the commitment with their lifelong companion?

What's the difference?

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com

7 comments:

Susan said...

All these ranters are afraid of the big, bad wolf. It is mindless and illogical.

Nancy said...

I am amazed and humbled by couples like you. Not only are you an example of what a great relationship is)regardless of sexual orientation), you are pioneers in this country. Not because you asked to be but because you are being true to yourselves and living the life you were meant to live. I consider you trailblazers and am proud to know you. SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!

Deb said...

I absolutely love the both of you! Thank you. You've both known us for a long time through writing and it's such a relief to know that there are good quality people like yourselves standing behind us. {{hugs}}

Monkey Man said...

People focus on the wrong things and waste their time as a result. Just wish they could figure out that "orientation" is meaningless. It is about love and being with the person you want to spend your days (and nights) with. Good for NY passing that bill.

Deb said...

Thank you, MM... I can't see the logic into putting so much energy in trying to stop two people from marrying one another....

Xmichra said...

You know what I can't wait for? When all of our kids grow up and say "Can you beleive that gay folks weren't allowed to get married at one point?! How stupid!"... it'll happen. Just like the end of slavery, womens rights movements achieving goals, and even women allowed in the golf clubhouse. It's bound to get there, and it's coming more and more over every region.

So instead of asking all the questions that you have asked, I might just switch to: Are you freaking prepared for the change that will happen? Because I sh*t you not, it's coming.

Just_because_today said...

I had that argument with my family over the weekend "where is Deb when you need her!!!" I needed to recite some scriptures.
Marriage is for people who love one another and want to unite their lives...what's to argue about?