Saturday, May 14, 2011

Am I Right or Am I Right?

There is no right or wrong, good or bad, and even “the right path to take”. There’s only your life. Your choices. Your opinions. Your beliefs. Everything else is fodder for highly opinionated people with no room for anybody else’s views. Most of us are influenced by the people we care for the most. Some unfortunately, are influenced by anybody and perhaps, views and opinions change more than day and night. For instance, if someone tells me that my lifestyle is wrong, I automatically judge them myself as insecure people with very little knowledge or limited tolerance for anyone who may possibly be different than them. If someone tells me that my political views are wrong ---prove it. If someone tells me my religious views and beliefs are wrong --prove it. The point is: nothing in life is concrete, unless scientifically proven. This is why we have words like: “opinions”, “beliefs”, “values” - and what might not be yours, may be somebody else’s. You can’t take that away from anyone, and if you’re trying to, then you must be insecure about your own views.

Not too long ago, I was quite surprised to hear the views of another older lesbian in her sixties on her thoughts about gays and lesbians having children. She has two kids from a previous marriage years ago. She said, “I think conventional families can risk problems and issues having a single child more than singles, lesbians, or any other 'out of the norm' family or person, cause those issues are added to the child’s already complex growing up process.” Of course, I highly disagreed with this statement, but that’ s just because of what I’ve seen in my own experience, as an aunt and a friend to a well-grounded lesbian couple who has only one child who has grown up perfectly fine. Perhaps her age and old fashioned views may have gotten in the way of her rational thinking - or - do you think I’m being judgmental with that statement? Sometimes, older people seem to have a different definition of what a family “should” be like. For me, as long as a child is loved tremendously, cared for and taught the best they can on how to handle everyday life, then who’s to say a gay or lesbian couple can’t handle this? Only heterosexual couples are fit for parents? And surprisingly, a lesbian said this.

You may agree or disagree, but when does it come to the point where people are getting too judgmental? When is it time to keep your views to yourself? What about politics? What about those types of people who nudge and nudge just to get a rise out of you because they’re on the opposite side of the political double edged sword? They say the worst things to talk about with someone new are politics and religion. I say the worst thing to talk about with new and old friends are politics and religion. It never gets anywhere, and in fact, the other person becomes stronger in their views. So, all in all, no one is swaying anybody’s views. It’s just a big pissing contest. Nobody wins. Everbody’s frustrated. Game over.

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” ~Paulo Coelho

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com