Monday, June 21, 2010

Is "LGBT" Missing an "S"?

You probably have a different view than what I’m about to talk about, but that’s what makes life interesting: an array of opinionated minds that may or may not agree. If there’s one thing that annoys me, it’s how people “fake” being accepting. Let me explain... Take for instance, the concept that America is the “melting pot”. Sure, we’re all here “physically” together, but in my eyes, we’re not here together as one, as accepting people of different cultures, backgrounds and lifestyles. We’re so at odds with one another of different creeds that sometimes I wonder when we’ll all start to realize that we’re more alike than we think.

Of course I’m an advocate for the LGBT community, not just because I’m gay, but because I support all who want to be happy in their lifestyles. Many of my friends are in LGBT groups, organizations and even LGBT sporting events. For me, I’d rather play with a mix of people, regardless if they’re gay, straight, transgender, black or white. I don’t care ---play ball! I did however, receive a “friend request” on facebook for “Women of Color”, dedicated to black women in Provincetown, MA. They hold their own special weekends dedicated to black women. That’s fine. I think it’s great. I just don’t understand all this separation though. I do realize that people want to relate and socialize with those alike, but why limit yourself? When my wife and I vacation in Provincetown, we like to see an array of different people. Although we do go during Women’s Week (because we got married during that time & October is a perfect month to visit the Cape), I find myself missing all the men walking around, the drag queens that make us laugh so much and just getting a little more testosterone into the mix. Women’s Week for me is completely boring. My wife and I don’t need to have it exciting for us to make it fun---we make it fun for ourselves.

But I digress. Since I’m very adamant about going to a church that prays to the same God as I do --doesn’t that put me into the same category I had just complained about? I don’t separate myself from those of different religions, but I will not go into their churches nor practice their religion “just for fun” or “just for the experience”. I don’t give their religion a chance only because my faith in my own beliefs are too strong. Or, do you think that’s being stubborn on my part, perhaps even discriminative? Maybe I’m the one that needs to be more accepting of those who form groups catered to one race, or one sexual orientation. Which brings me to my next question: How come “LGBT” doesn’t have an “S” in it for straight people? Why do we exclude those who love others of the opposite sex? Why don’t straight people drive around with huge bumper stickers screaming, “PROUD TO BE STRAIGHT?” Would gays and lesbians get offended if they saw a bumper sticker like that? Probably so.

I guess I’m confused over special groups, and the fact that I don’t participate in enough “separated” organizations. I can’t help it - I like a mixed bag, but I do understand the need to reach out & relate to people who have the same struggles. Or, are they even considered struggles? To be gay, lesbian, white or black --are we struggling that much? For me as a white lesbian, and my wife a Hispanic lesbian, we don’t feel discriminated against. We are considered “minorities”, but we refuse to play the victim. I’m also not saying “all” people play the role of the victim, but some are extremely pitiful. We realize not everyone is going to agree or accept our lifestyle. That’s not our problem though. You can be an average middle class heterosexual caucasian and have someone hate you for any reason imaginable. You will never be “perfect” to every single human being. There’s always going to be someone who is going to hate you for whatever reason. Why magnify this intensity by a hundred, simply by forming groups that are separating other people who may accept you? Why are we even seeking acceptance if we’re secure in our own sexuality, lifestyle, race or religion? I think that speaks volumes right there.

What are your thoughts?

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog for some of her famous recipes!