Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I Love Them Dearly...

All I hear lately is gloom & doom from my parents. They go on and on about, “When we die”, along with, “We’re not gonna be around forever you know.” I totally get the ‘inevitable’, but what gets me is, they used it to their sick little warped advantage. So I twist it around and say, “You know, if I get hit by a truck tomorrow or stabbed by some burglar”----and automatically they gasp with horror and scream, “STOP THAT NOW!!!” I mean, if I’m traumatizing them, wouldn’t they stop to think for a minute that they’re doing the same thing to me? My dad insists that when he dies,  that I keep him in the huge freezer so we can still collect his social security checks. Beautiful concept. “Hey ma, can you grab me the frozen chicken next to dad’s left arm?” I mean....really? What if the power goes out? With all this “death talk”, oddly enough nobody in our family talks about the ‘what ifs’ and ‘what to do’ plans when our parents decide to jump out of the first floor window. I love them dearly.

Today was an interesting visit. My mother keeps insisting that she wants to go on the same phone plan that my sister just recently got. It’s a plan where you can call anywhere in the U.S. for free, as long as you stay with them for a yearly contract. I set her up, but to my surprise, the customer service rep threw in voice mail. My mother could barely even figure out the answering machine that I got for her 15 years ago. I get a phone call from her this morning asking, “Deb, why is it when I pick up the phone, there’s a busy signal and then a dial tone.” I wanted to shoot myself in the foot. I knew it was a message waiting that will never be retrieved. I had to call the phone company up to ask them to remove it. She still has a hard time with her caller i.d. and call waiting. When I’m on the phone, and someone else is beeping in, you’ll hear silence (her checking the caller i.d. without telling you), and then she’ll say, “Oh it’s your sister!” This means: “I am hanging up with you because I don’t know how to click over.” I love her dearly.

My father yells from the other room, “Uhh Deb, can ya’ help me widdis’ voice mail on my cell phone? I have a message waiting!” For the two years he has had this cell phone, he has not checked or received any voice mails? So I call his number on his phone and it asks me for a security code. “Dad, what’s your code?” He looks at me puzzled. “My code? Whaddya’ tawkin’ abow’???” Another technical call to the phone company which was the highlight of my day. These people seriously need a can and a string and be done with it. I love them dearly.

13 comments:

Peta Joy said...

I'm beginning to believe that all parents do this to their adult children in order to guilt them. Kind of like the way they would tell you about how they had to walk 5 miles to school in the snow in July, uphill - both ways - in sandals. My mom tries this, but I stop her by saying the I'll get around to her afterward. But not to worry, as I'll put a good coat of shellac on her and use her as a coffee table for a while......

pittchick said...

Ha! I had to remove the texting plan from my mom's phone (she's on my family share plan) because she kept downloading crap accidentally. How you do that more than once is beyond me!
She can retrieve voice mail, though, but she still doesn't use the digital answering machine that i gave her, because she doesn't know how to set it up!

Parents! Sheesh.

Sunshine said...

This does not seem to me to be about being old.
I know lots of "old" people who are in to technology.
Maybe better not to put us all in an "old" box?

Carla said...

omg!THIS IS TO FUNNY!I called them today and they both were on the line telling me about your visit, and their trip to home depot.

Monkey Man said...

I can so relate to this. Just last weekend I was showing my stepfather how easy it was to program in phone numbers and call from the list. His head was spinning and told me it was easier for him to look up the number on his call his and call them back. Now that's a REAL short cut. Death...you and I have covered a bit of this. Thanks for the conversation - stay connected.

Barbara Ann Smith said...

You know whats even funnier,we have the same mom

Xmichra said...

lol... this is so cute, but in the moment very frustrating I would imagine! My mother hates called id, messages, etc. if you even *think* about cellular phones she goes crazy on you. I think a can and string would work for her too. lol...

Shadow said...

parents! gotta love them... we had this thing with my mom where we'd remind each other just before arriving at her house "just don't ask her how she is...." heee heee heeee

Jess said...

MUHAHAHA! That is tooooooo cute! Is your Dad handing over a slab of butter in that picture?! Or do I just really want biscuits right now? Eh, whatever...

I was DELIGHTED when my Mom started texting...and now she never calls. She texts. She text me the other day complaining about how Wii Fit TOTALLY offended her telling her she was three years older than she was. SO she cussed it out, kicked it and then turned it off. She text me all of that. Naturally, I was dying laughing because the mental image was awesome!

She also texts me to tell me when she is pooping.

Yes, yes, you just can't help but love them!!

Just_because_today said...

the scary thing is that we become our parents. I catch myself doing things now that I hated in my mother. One day you are going to be yelling "how you make this work???"

paz13 said...

Loved the comment on giving them a "can and a string".

Someday we will become our parents for the next generation.

Kevin

Julianna said...

I sent my mom a text message once (bear in mind she is barely 60) and she called me back saying "What did you do to my phone?" Oy.

Lorraina said...

Well....why don't you 'splain or better yet show 'em! Then show 'em again, and again, just a little bit slower. But first let them show you what they do right in front of you so you can see where their heads are and how it makes sense for them to do what they do. Show them as in teach them and then they'll know how to do what you no doubt had someone show you, except you with your "new age" young brains caught on fast! Good grief, its not that hard to figure out - just think of where they come from and how much has changed in their world
If they're anywhere near MY age, its from a land of acres of wheat, no tv, wringer washing machine and the telephone was a new fangled gadget with an operator at the other end who got them whoever they want to speak to. They learned the things of the day. They were young and fresh back then and they were raising a family and had work to do and letters to write to loved ones far away at war and cooking and cleaning to do and it was a modern world to them and they were comfortable in it!
And the new world happened and just went zooming right by them just as it did their parents and it will you too.
Now, texting - hey, how do you do that and why? Whats the matter with the phone? Nobody has time to explain this to me. Cell phones - i asked a grandaughter to put me in some speed dial numbers. She did it so fast but when i went to do it - it didnt work (i'm sure she messed up by showing off her speed) and i messed up by not trying it out right then and there in front of her...i just trusted that she fixed it. My old cell phone was still good but after 5 yrs the company contacted me to say i could now pick up my brand new 2010 cell. So guess whats new with it - when it rings you open it and then press "talk" before you say hello.
I used to simply open my old phone and say hello! Who makes this stuff and how is that better? Ditto the computer. My gson set it up for me. I'd like to know why i now have to enter my long (but safe) pw every single time i go on it. Its MY computer in my own house for petes sake!My old 'puter didnt do that! Then the page opens a tiny weeny page which i then have to make large. My old 'puter didnt do that! So now the page is large but the print is small. Every. single. time.
For heavens sake people can you put yourselves in the old folks place for a few minutes and fix things up for them to be able to actually use stuff without feeling like they're stupid or they're going to break it if they mess around with it or too old and right outta it. Now-a-days theres more steps to do everything than there ever should be. Turning on the tv used to be "turn the button to on" To turn it off just hit "off"
Now, i have 4 steps press "tv; power, cable; power" and turn it off by doing the same (or is it the opposite....hmmm)if i mess up the order - no tv for a week until the kid comes over to fix my mess up using just one click - the one he didn't show me!
ok i don't mean to sound so mean and crotchety. But thems the facts as i see it. Don't send them a text when you know dam well they don't know what to do to get it and etc. etc.
Sorry if this is the longest and/or crankiest comment response in history but y'all has gots to help those older than yourselves please.