Thursday, December 10, 2009

Let Go & Let God . . .

(Yes, that is my dad playing Santa Claus and me in yellow feet pajamas.)

During the holidays people can become sad, overwhelmed and cranky. I don’t exclude myself from that sentence either. There are more suicides, family arguments and extreme depression and anxiety. Especially this time of year, people usually think about lost loved ones and people who they have lost touch with throughout their lives. A whole medley of chaotic thoughts get rustled into a mess of psychological bullshit. It happens to the best of us, sane or insane.  It was so much different when we were kids.  

Being that this is the most “expensive” time of the year, we tend to look through our archives of achievements or, sometimes, the thought of the lack thereof. It makes you wish that the holidays weren’t so gift-based, as it should be united-based. As we grow older, we morph into different characters, sometimes involving impassiveness towards our own family members and close friends at times. It happens. Personalities, lifestyles and the people who surround us sometimes clash, leaving a gap in between what was once left as a “whole”.

It’s those types of things that get to me more than physical trauma. As you all can probably see, I can laugh through weird physical traumas, health issues and mishaps, but when it comes to the breaking of a relationship, whether it be friendship or familial, emotional pain is much worse than physical pain, in my opinion. A physical wound can heal in a few days, sometimes leaving a scar. An emotional wound heals slower, and when it does scar, we sometimes tend to pick at it, reopening that wound up again. That’s why the holidays can be so devastating for so many.

I know, a total 'Debbie Downer' post, but I guess I felt the need to write this out since I have lost a family member of my own who was close to me due to unfortunate circumstances. I have lost her as a friend and now, as my own sister. All I can do is pray that she is well, that she is happy and content in everything she does. She was my best friend my entire life, besides being a sibling. With that, I have said my peace and I am ready to let go and let God take over the rest. (From top left to right: Barbara our neighbor and my sister Carla. From the bottom left to right: My sister Cathy, me and my sister Dawn.)