Friday, July 10, 2009

Surrendering

Have you ever come across people who are so extremely toxic in your life, yet somehow there is something that keeps you drawn to them?   The bulk of the relationship may be full of drama and chaos, yet there is something that you’re not quite sure of that makes you keep in contact with them.  Or what about those types of people where you have to watch every word you say, because to them, their relationship with you is totally conditional and full of “terms and services”? Are you nodding your head in agreement? For whatever reason you stay in this friendship or relationship, it never seems to change. They say they’re sorry and that it was a misunderstanding, until the next chaotic event which literally drains the life out of you.

“I forgive you.”

It means nothing to them. Well, maybe it does - it may mean, “Ok, you’re back in my life and you can start wreaking havoc all over again because I like you that much.” To us, we’re asking, “Please stop the bullshit?” You can even look at it in another aspect: people have addictive personalities. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they are addicted to alcohol, drugs or food - it means that they are simply drawn to things that are unhealthy - for example: bad relationships, chaos, drama, and so on... They’re adrenaline junkies who simply feed off other people’s energy. They like the thrill of complications and seeing how far they can take it to the next step. But when does it come to the point of ending all ties? Enough is enough. Enough is not enough, for them.

Why does life have to be full of game players, complicated adrenaline junkies and people who enjoy hurting one another? I don’t get it. I understand ‘action & reaction’ type of responses, but when it’s done intentionally and continually, you really have to ask yourself: “Is this person really healthy to be around?” You can receive all the advice in the world, but when you’re in it - you’re in it. There is nothing or anyone who can tell you what to do - it’s your choice alone.

I think way too many people have the most common fear: fear of abandonment. Whether their parents got divorced while they were young or their heart had been broken way too many times to count, they fear experiencing that hurt all over again, which results in, “I’ll hurt you before you hurt me” type of behavior. It’s quite common, and even I have experienced this reaction myself. But for some people, it is constant - it never ends. They teeter-totter in and out of your life because they want to be “safe”, so they run to you and then run back to their base. I believe it’s one of the main reasons for on and off relationships. Some people break up just to make up - totally common and psychotic, if you ask me. If the make up sex is worth it, then have a good time. You’ll be emotionally drained before your next climax.

Isn’t there anything better people can do with their lives other than screw around with other people’s emotions?  The “how far can I get” mindset tends to grow old.

The other day while driving in my car, I heard this song, “21 Guns” by Green Day. Frankly, it’s not my type of music but it spoke volumes. Take a look at this video.

Do you know what's worth fighting for,
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And you're thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul
Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire?
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something side this heart has died
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I