Tuesday, May 12, 2009

A New Start

Such things are immaterial: an old lamp that used to sit on my night stand as a teenager growing up that now sheds light upon my office desk and a picture frame given to me by a former friend. There are two antique ships that are hanging on my hallway wall, to remind me how long my parents had them up on their wall at one time. Some things are sentimental and others are just things I’ve brought with me on my way towards the next chapter in my life. Most things in this apartment are new, fresh, without reminders of ‘a time when’. I have had to rid of many things I had owned in order to set my place as “a new start”.

Mere objects: simple things like furniture, books or coffee mugs given by someone else that was in your past can conjure up many emotions. Depending on how that person has affected your life, the object may bring certain feelings up to the surface. This time last year I had to purge of many of my belongings that were given to me by other people, so that it no longer haunted me. The sentimental value had deflated into a pile of ashes that have been blown away. Sorrowful, dark, demeaning: feelings that place a certain type of darkness around the object at hand. Pure rubbish. 

The wonderful objects I do have hold memories of love, happiness, friendship and sharing. My furniture: memories of friends coming over, my first apartment with Madelene, guests crashing upon our huge leather sofa and so many great nights of watching movies and falling asleep upon Madelene’s lap. These memories are precious to me. Our coffee table has held so many nights of sitting on the floor Japanese style eating take out food and playing many games of scrabble. I have written my first book on this coffee table because I didn’t have an office back then. This table means the world to me. It never leaves. An old rocking chair has traveled with me through my stages of life. It belonged to my parents, but my grandma and mother used to read me stories until I fell asleep in their arms. That chair will always be with me. Many guests come over and sit in it - it’s their favorite spot.

Most framed photographs were taken by me. They are memories of where my wife and I shared some wonderful times at. One of my favorites is hanging up in my dining room. The frame belonged to a former friend, but I ripped up the old photo because it was too negative - she was negative - it had a very dark feel to it and so I replaced it with a photo I had taken of a place where my wife and I used to sit, have coffee and talk for hours. I call it, “My Little Venice”.

Sometimes to get over certain chapters of your life, you have to rid of everything that reminds you of it. And if you cannot do that, because these are objects that you desperately need, then change your entire place around to give it a different feel. 
A feel of a new beginning. 
A new start.